pp
Check out reaction to the pardon of the gay Malawi couple from Newsy.com.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Memorial Day: Men in uniform
Friday, May 28, 2010
Help Wanted: Gay & Lesbian Fund for Colorado is looking for a new Director
The Gay & Lesbian Fund for Colorado (GLFC) is a program of the Gill Foundation. The GLFC was established in 1996 to reflect the fact that lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) Coloradans are committed to our state’s great quality of life and its future. Over the years, more than $24 million has been invested in hundreds of high-impact nonprofits that better the quality of life for all Coloradans by providing important arts and culture, civic participation, healthy families, and public broadcasting programs.
Get more details by clicking here.
Jackson Harris - Empire State of Mind
NYC cutie Jackson Harris covers Jay-Z's 'Empire State of Mind.'
Stories from the Frontlines: Letter to a G.I.
Dear Dave,
This is in memory of an anniversary – the anniversary of October 27th, 1943, when I first heard you singing in North Africa. That song brings memories of the happiest times I’ve ever known. Memories of a GI show troop – curtains made from barrage balloons – spotlights made from cocoa cans – rehearsals that ran late into the evenings – and a handsome boy with a wonderful tenor voice. Opening night at a theatre in Canastel – perhaps a bit too much muscatel, and someone who understood. Exciting days playing in the beautiful and stately Municipal Opera House in Oran – a misunderstanding – an understanding in the wings just before opening chorus.
Drinks at “Coq d’or” – dinner at the “Auberge” – a ring and promise given. The show 1st Armoured – muscatel, scotch, wine – someone who had to be carried from the truck and put to bed in his tent. A night of pouring rain and two very soaked GIs beneath a solitary tree on an African plain. A borrowed French convertible – a warm sulphur spring, the cool Mediterranean, and a picnic of “rations” and hot cokes. Two lieutenants who were smart enough to know the score, but not smart enough to realize that we wanted to be alone. A screwball piano player – competition – miserable days and lonely nights. The cold, windy night we crawled through the window of a GI theatre and fell asleep on a cot backstage, locked in each other’s arms – the shock when we awoke and realized that miraculously we hadn’t been discovered. A fast drive to a cliff above the sea – pictures taken, and a stop amid the purple grapes and cool leaves of a vineyard.
The happiness when told we were going home – and the misery when we learned that we would not be going together. Fond goodbyes on a secluded beach beneath the star-studded velvet of an African night, and the tears that would not be stopped as I stood atop the sea-wall and watched your convoy disappear over the horizon.
We vowed we’d be together again “back home,” but fate knew better – you never got there. And so, Dave, I hope that where ever you are these memories are as precious to you as they are to me.
Goodnight, sleep well my love.
Brian Keith
*Reprinted with permission of ONE National Gay & Lesbian Archives, www.onearchives.org, ONE Magazine, September 1961
Sex and the City 2 cast talks gay marriage with TowleroadTV
The 'Sex and the City 2' gals talk gay marriage with TowleroadTV. The movie is out now!
MilehighGayGuy Advertiser Shout Out: Elitch Lanes
Wanna bowl your butt off? Elitch Lanes is gay Denver's favorite bowling alley. Be sure to hit 'em up Tuesday or Thursday nights for Quarter Mania. Just pay a $5 entry fee and then get your games, shoes, and hot dogs for just a quarter each from 9 p.m. to close.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Statement by the President on Votes to Repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”
The White House has just released the following statement from President Obama concerning the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell:
I have long advocated that we repeal ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell’, and I am pleased that both the House of Representatives and the Senate Armed Services Committee took important bipartisan steps toward repeal tonight. Key to successful repeal will be the ongoing Defense Department review, and as such I am grateful that the amendments offered by Representative Patrick Murphy and Senators Joseph Lieberman and Carl Levin that passed today will ensure that the Department of Defense can complete that comprehensive review that will allow our military and their families the opportunity to inform and shape the implementation process. Our military is made up of the best and bravest men and women in our nation, and my greatest honor is leading them as Commander-in-Chief. This legislation will help make our Armed Forces even stronger and more inclusive by allowing gay and lesbian soldiers to serve honestly and with integrity.
I have long advocated that we repeal ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell’, and I am pleased that both the House of Representatives and the Senate Armed Services Committee took important bipartisan steps toward repeal tonight. Key to successful repeal will be the ongoing Defense Department review, and as such I am grateful that the amendments offered by Representative Patrick Murphy and Senators Joseph Lieberman and Carl Levin that passed today will ensure that the Department of Defense can complete that comprehensive review that will allow our military and their families the opportunity to inform and shape the implementation process. Our military is made up of the best and bravest men and women in our nation, and my greatest honor is leading them as Commander-in-Chief. This legislation will help make our Armed Forces even stronger and more inclusive by allowing gay and lesbian soldiers to serve honestly and with integrity.
MileHighGayGuy Advertiser Shout Out: Dazzle Restaurant and Lounge
Named “One of the Top 100 Jazz Club in the World” by Downbeat magazine and “Best Jazz Club” by Westword, Dazzle features a unique and eclectic menu that focuses on great American traditional cuisine with a twist and live performances seven nights a week.
Breaking news on DADT vote
Advocates supporting repeal need to call these Members of Congress now as they are possibly leaning “no” on the House repeal vote:
Jim Costa (D-CA) 202-225-3411
Jerry Costello (D-IL) 202-225-5661
Harry Mitchell (D-AZ) 202-225-2190
Gene Green (D-TX) 202-225-1688
John Salazar (D-CO) 202-225-4761
Jim Costa (D-CA) 202-225-3411
Jerry Costello (D-IL) 202-225-5661
Harry Mitchell (D-AZ) 202-225-2190
Gene Green (D-TX) 202-225-1688
John Salazar (D-CO) 202-225-4761
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Denver PrideFest: Last call for parade applications!
Click here to fill out your application today!
Denver PrideFest: Grand Marshalls announced for 2010
These people have been key players in and supporters of the LGBT community in Colorado from the 1970s to today, and The Center is proud to have them represent us in the parade, which steps off from Cheesman Park Sunday, June 20, at 9:30 a.m. and marches down Colfax Avenue to Civic Center Park.
Among the honorees is Phil Nash (left), The Center's first executive director.Phil became The Center's first paid staff member in 1977, establishing the first services and programs offered to the community. He was also instrumental in transforming the Colorado AIDS Project from a program of The Center to an independent 501(c)3 organization when it became clear that AIDS crisis required a much larger response that originally anticipated. He served on The Center's Board of Directors for a number of years in the late 1990s, and presently serves on The Center's capital campaign committee. Today Nash works for the Rose Community Foundation as Vice President of Communications.
Congratulations on 35 years of Denver PrideFest!
Stories from the Frontlines: Corporal Juan C. Perezortiz
Stories from the Frontlines: Letters to President Barack Obama is a media campaign launched to fight to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) . Every weekday morning until Friday, May 28, as we approach the markup of the Defense Authorization bill in the Senate, SLDN and a coalition of voices supporting repeal, will share an open letter to the President from a person impacted by this discriminatory law.
Today's letter is from former Corporal Juan C. Perezortiz:
Dear Mr. President,
As an 18-year-old, first generation immigrant from Mexico and a newly sworn in American citizen, military service seemed the best way to repay my fellow citizens for giving my family and me a shot at a better life.
I enlisted in the Marine Corps as an Aircraft Ordnance Man. USMC Boot Camp was physically and mentally challenging, but it didn’t compare to the persecution I would encounter later in the Marines.
As a new PFC in an Aircraft Ordnance (AO) Shop in California, I developed a reputation for being a hard worker, always looking for extra duties and opportunities to expand my skills. As a result, my work ethic and excellent evaluations, I was promoted to an E3, a lance corporal. These were my best days in the military. Unfortunately, they were short numbered. With the arrival of a new gunnery sergeant, my career in the Marines soon became a struggle to survive.
The gunnery sergeant enjoyed socializing with the junior Marines in the shop, frequently taking them out drinking and to the strip clubs. I was expected to participate. I tried to be a team player so I would not be singled out. The shop soon became the squadron’s “frat pad.” Most conversation revolved around girls and hookups, often described by my comrades as “bitches and hoes.”
This behavior, beyond being tolerated, was often sponsored and enjoyed by my superiors. “Gunny” usually joined in, bragging about cheating on his wife. This environment was repulsive and contradictory to the core values of the Marine Corps: honor, courage, commitment — values I tried to live by. I was miserable, but felt powerless to do anything about it.
I still went out drinking with the guys, but tried to avoid going to strip bars or swapping stories about sexual experiences. But then Gunny became suspicious. He told me he suspected I was a “faggot” and that we should see what the rest of the guys thought about it.
Everything changed that day. My evaluation scores began to drop dramatically — from the 4.9 out of 5 average I had for three years to a 1.0. After obtaining copies of my evaluations, I learned that my direct supervisors’ scores had been crossed out and lowered by the gunnery sergeant. I had never failed at anything in life before and I was not going to let anyone tell me I was not a good Marine.
My only way out, I believed, was to transfer out of my unit. At first my requests were repeatedly denied. Eventually though, after numerous letters of recommendations from other military officers, I was transferred.
I was promoted and, when I left my new unit, I had numerous letters of recommendation. The detachment’s commanding officer wrote accolades such as, “You are a Marine with exceptional core values… a great asset to the Armed Services” and “You are a Marine of great caliber and will go far in your military career.”
Unfortunately, I was required to return to my former training squadron just months before my six year contract was up. I was back under Gunny’s command. Those last few months were a living nightmare. I constantly dreaded going to work and was afraid for my physical safety.
With the support of friends, I managed to serve eight years. I love the Marines and, under different command circumstances, I would have continued my service. In three weeks, I’ll graduate from the University of California, San Diego with a degree in structural engineering. With the your help and with open service in place at the Pentagon, I’d signup and serve my country again.
Mr. President, thank you for supporting repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” I hope that, with your leadership, no other service member will have to go through the persecution I endured in order to serve our country.
Respectfully,
Former Corporal Juan C. Perezortiz
United States Marine Corps
Dear Mr. President,
As an 18-year-old, first generation immigrant from Mexico and a newly sworn in American citizen, military service seemed the best way to repay my fellow citizens for giving my family and me a shot at a better life.
I enlisted in the Marine Corps as an Aircraft Ordnance Man. USMC Boot Camp was physically and mentally challenging, but it didn’t compare to the persecution I would encounter later in the Marines.
As a new PFC in an Aircraft Ordnance (AO) Shop in California, I developed a reputation for being a hard worker, always looking for extra duties and opportunities to expand my skills. As a result, my work ethic and excellent evaluations, I was promoted to an E3, a lance corporal. These were my best days in the military. Unfortunately, they were short numbered. With the arrival of a new gunnery sergeant, my career in the Marines soon became a struggle to survive.
The gunnery sergeant enjoyed socializing with the junior Marines in the shop, frequently taking them out drinking and to the strip clubs. I was expected to participate. I tried to be a team player so I would not be singled out. The shop soon became the squadron’s “frat pad.” Most conversation revolved around girls and hookups, often described by my comrades as “bitches and hoes.”
This behavior, beyond being tolerated, was often sponsored and enjoyed by my superiors. “Gunny” usually joined in, bragging about cheating on his wife. This environment was repulsive and contradictory to the core values of the Marine Corps: honor, courage, commitment — values I tried to live by. I was miserable, but felt powerless to do anything about it.
I still went out drinking with the guys, but tried to avoid going to strip bars or swapping stories about sexual experiences. But then Gunny became suspicious. He told me he suspected I was a “faggot” and that we should see what the rest of the guys thought about it.
Everything changed that day. My evaluation scores began to drop dramatically — from the 4.9 out of 5 average I had for three years to a 1.0. After obtaining copies of my evaluations, I learned that my direct supervisors’ scores had been crossed out and lowered by the gunnery sergeant. I had never failed at anything in life before and I was not going to let anyone tell me I was not a good Marine.
My only way out, I believed, was to transfer out of my unit. At first my requests were repeatedly denied. Eventually though, after numerous letters of recommendations from other military officers, I was transferred.
I was promoted and, when I left my new unit, I had numerous letters of recommendation. The detachment’s commanding officer wrote accolades such as, “You are a Marine with exceptional core values… a great asset to the Armed Services” and “You are a Marine of great caliber and will go far in your military career.”
Unfortunately, I was required to return to my former training squadron just months before my six year contract was up. I was back under Gunny’s command. Those last few months were a living nightmare. I constantly dreaded going to work and was afraid for my physical safety.
With the support of friends, I managed to serve eight years. I love the Marines and, under different command circumstances, I would have continued my service. In three weeks, I’ll graduate from the University of California, San Diego with a degree in structural engineering. With the your help and with open service in place at the Pentagon, I’d signup and serve my country again.
Mr. President, thank you for supporting repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” I hope that, with your leadership, no other service member will have to go through the persecution I endured in order to serve our country.
Respectfully,
Former Corporal Juan C. Perezortiz
United States Marine Corps
Greg Scarnici - New Wave Girl
Check out the latest giddily gay concoction from Greg Scarnici. Mildly NSFW for saucy language.
FedEx to offer domestic-partner benefits
Daryl Herrschaft, director of the Human Rights Campaign Workplace Project, called the move "a giant step forward" for the company, which has lagged its competitors in diversity rankings.
Gallup Poll finds opposition to gay marriage at an all-time low
"Over time, Americans have become more accepting of legal same-sex marriage, and a growing number of subgroups now show majority support for it," noted a statement by Gallup, which has been reporting on public acceptance of marriage equality since 1996.
Cake topper above from www.gayrites.net.
Gays wanted to apply for Presidential Appointments Project
Learn more about the Project and how to apply for an appointment here.
Will gay families be part of immigration reform?
MileHighGayGuy Advertiser Shout Out: National Teleprinting
Lodo's oldest and best all-purpose print shop, National Teleprinting has been located right downtown at 1420 Blake Street in Denver for the past 20 years. No matter what your printing needs, National Teleprinting will get the job done right and to your specifications.
National Teleprinting is proud to be a member of the Chamber of Commerce and has been nominated for Denver's 'Small Business of the Year' Award.
Be sure to support the local businesses that help support Colorado's gay community with their advertising dollars. Remember - when you shop gay and gay-friendly businesses, the money you spend remains in, and benefits, the LGBT community.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
IGLTA celebrates leaders in LGBT travel
More after the jump.
IGLTA's gala dinner (25 June) features the presentation of two established awards, chosen by the association's board of directors:
· The Chairman's Award: Jose Sampol, TAM Brazilian Airlines, Director of North American Operations and a dedicated friend to the LGBT travel community
· The Hanns Ebensten Hall of Fame Award: The Spartacus International Gay Guide, which celebrates its 40th anniversary of helping LGBT travelers find their way in 2011
The IGLTA Honors premiere this year (during the 24 June convention luncheon) to recognize leaders in LGBT tourism across a wide range of categories:
· Community: Antwerp's own Patrick Aertsen, the manager of the leading gay club in the Benelux, Red and Blue, and the founder of major LGBT event Navigaytion, a travel agency and other local businesses
· Innovator: Shannon Wentworth, CEO and founding partner of eco-minded lesbian travel company Sweet
· Networking: GNetwork360, the top Latin-American LGBT marketing event, which unites more than 700 attendees in Buenos Aires each year
· Partner: Accor Hotels, an IGLTA Platinum Partner with more than 4,100 hotels in 93 countries and promotion of LGBT travel as a top priority
· Pioneer: Gay business owner Madian Al Jazerah, who established the LGBT-friendly gathering place Books@cafe in Amman, Jordan, despite persecution – and now has six other cafes providing a warm welcome for all
Convention registration is still open. Individual tickets to the gala dinner are US$125 and will go on sale June 1. For more information on IGLTA's convention, which includes admission to the Honors luncheon and gala dinner, and registration, visit www.igltaconvention.org.
MileHighGayGuy Advertiser Shout Out: Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains
Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains provides services for gay men in the Denver metro area including STD Testing and Treatment, HIV Testing and Education, Prostate and Testicular Cancer Screenings, and Education and Referrals.
Wildlife - American Eyes
Wildlife is five friends from Ontario - five energetic, adventurous, youthful barbarians who held their first concert in a haunted ballroom on the Isle of Pines on the St. Lawrence River. Wildlife will release their debut full length 'Strike Hard, Young Diamond' on July 13th.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Congratulations on 35 years of Denver PrideFest!
From Christian Siriano to Tim Gunn - six degrees of reality TV separation
Log on to win big with Jeffrey Sanker and Gaydar.net
Create a free profile for a chance to win a number of fabulous prizes from Gaydar.com and Jeffrey Sanker.
Student Non-Discrimination Act of 2010 introduced in U.S. Senate
Last week the Senate introduced the Student Non-Discrimination Act of 2010 (SNDA), which would prohibit discrimination against any public school student on the basis of actual or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity. In addition, SNDA prevents discrimination against students because of the actual or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity of a person with whom that student associates or has associated. SNDA was introduced by Sen. Al Franken, D-Minn., and has 22 co-sponsors. Rep. Jared Polis, D-Colo., introduced a nearly identical version of the Student Non-Discrimination Act (H.R. 4530) in January 2010.
"Every child deserves an equal education free from discrimination, harassment and bullying. Unfortunately, LGBT students have historically been alienated, harassed, and bullied in their schools, with little or no intervention from school personnel. Far too many of these students have underperformed or dropped out in response to the lack of safety and support,” said Human Rights Campaign President Joe Solmonese. “No student should feel scared when walking into their school and this legislation would require immediate and appropriate action to stop the discrimination that our youth have endured for far too long."
Discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity contributes to high dropout rates, absenteeism, adverse health consequences and academic underachievement among LGBT youth. When left unchecked, such discrimination can lead, and has led to, life-threatening violence and suicide.
Federal statutory and/or constitutional protections expressly address discrimination on the basis of race, color, national origin, religion, sex and disability, but do not expressly address sexual orientation or gender identity. As a result, students and parents have limited legal recourse to redress for discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity.
“It’s time that we extend the protections of our nations’ civil right laws to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender students across the country,” said Sen. Franken. “No student should be subjected to the ridicule and physical violence that LGBT students so often experience in school. It’s time we demanded equal treatment for all of our children under the law.”
SNDA is closely modeled after title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972 (20 U.S.C. §§ 1681-1688), which prohibits discrimination on the basis of sex and provides legal recourse to redress such discrimination.
SNDA is has broad support from over 22 civil rights and education organizations, including: The American Association of University Women, American Federation of Teachers, American Civil Liberties Union, American Counseling Association, Family Equality Council, Gay-Straight Alliance Network, GLAD (Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders), GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network), Human Rights Campaign, Lambda Legal, NAACP, National Association of School Psychologists, National Association of Secondary School Principals, National Center for Lesbian Rights, National Center for Transgender Equality, National Council of La Raza, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Action Fund, National Women's Law Center, SAVE (Suicide Awareness Voices of Education), School Social Work Association of America, and Transgender Law Center.
"Every child deserves an equal education free from discrimination, harassment and bullying. Unfortunately, LGBT students have historically been alienated, harassed, and bullied in their schools, with little or no intervention from school personnel. Far too many of these students have underperformed or dropped out in response to the lack of safety and support,” said Human Rights Campaign President Joe Solmonese. “No student should feel scared when walking into their school and this legislation would require immediate and appropriate action to stop the discrimination that our youth have endured for far too long."
Discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity contributes to high dropout rates, absenteeism, adverse health consequences and academic underachievement among LGBT youth. When left unchecked, such discrimination can lead, and has led to, life-threatening violence and suicide.
Federal statutory and/or constitutional protections expressly address discrimination on the basis of race, color, national origin, religion, sex and disability, but do not expressly address sexual orientation or gender identity. As a result, students and parents have limited legal recourse to redress for discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity.
“It’s time that we extend the protections of our nations’ civil right laws to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender students across the country,” said Sen. Franken. “No student should be subjected to the ridicule and physical violence that LGBT students so often experience in school. It’s time we demanded equal treatment for all of our children under the law.”
SNDA is closely modeled after title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972 (20 U.S.C. §§ 1681-1688), which prohibits discrimination on the basis of sex and provides legal recourse to redress such discrimination.
SNDA is has broad support from over 22 civil rights and education organizations, including: The American Association of University Women, American Federation of Teachers, American Civil Liberties Union, American Counseling Association, Family Equality Council, Gay-Straight Alliance Network, GLAD (Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders), GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network), Human Rights Campaign, Lambda Legal, NAACP, National Association of School Psychologists, National Association of Secondary School Principals, National Center for Lesbian Rights, National Center for Transgender Equality, National Council of La Raza, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Action Fund, National Women's Law Center, SAVE (Suicide Awareness Voices of Education), School Social Work Association of America, and Transgender Law Center.
Stories from the Frontlines: Lieutenant Junior Grade Jenny Kopfstein
Stories from the Frontlines: Letters to President Barack Obama is a media campaign launched to fight to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT). Every weekday morning as we approach the markup of the Defense Authorization bill in the Senate and House Armed Services Committees, SLDN and a coalition of voices supporting repeal, will share an open letter to the President from a person impacted by this discriminatory law.
Today's letter is from former Lieutenant Junior Grade Jenny Kopfstein:
Dear Mr. President,
October 12, 2000. It was the day the USS COLE was attacked -- a suicide bomber struck while the ship was harbored and refueling in a Yemeni port. Seventeen American sailors were killed, and 39 were injured.
In the hours that followed – onboard the USS SHILOH also docked in an overseas port – we were put on alert. My Captain chose me to serve as the Officer of the Deck. We were ordered to put to sea immediately and I was to coordinate the underway.
Similarly – on September 11, 2001 – our ship was immediately ordered to sea. We fully expected that we were going to war. We ended up being assigned to protect the west coast from any potential attack.
During these emergencies, I was an open lesbian serving my country.
In a state of alert, no one cared a bit about my sexual orientation, even though they knew about it. The sailors who worked for me looked to me for leadership, and the officers I worked for looked to me for performance.
Years before, when studying at the Naval Academy, my peers and I learned about honor and integrity. The Academy places a special emphasis on these values. On the very first day, they give you uniforms, shoe polish and Brasso, and begin teaching you about the Academy’s Honor Concept. The Honor Concept starts out, “Midshipmen are persons of integrity: they do not lie, cheat, or steal.”
When I graduated from the Naval Academy, I became a Surface Warfare Officer and received orders to the cruiser USS SHILOH. I was excited to serve on a combatant ship.
“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) made it difficult to have normal conversations with my shipmates. If I said I had a dog, someone might ask, “Who takes care of him when you’re at sea?” Answering the simplest questions can get you kicked out. The crew of my ship was my extended family. Keeping parts of my life secret and separate from them is an unnecessary burden, and no American sailor or soldier should be forced to bear it.
Feeling deeply conflicted between the requirements of DADT and the Navy’s Core Values, I wrote my Captain and told him I was a lesbian. I was being forced to lie on a daily basis by DADT. I did not want to get out of the Navy, and I said so in my letter. I wanted to stay and serve honorably, and to maintain my integrity by not lying about who I was.
After I wrote the letter, I continued to do my job on the ship to the best of my ability. We went on a six-month deployment to the Middle East. I qualified as Officer of the Deck, and was chosen to be the Officer of the Deck during General Quarters -- a great honor.
I also earned my Surface Warfare Officer pin. During my pinning ceremony, the Captain removed his own pin -- off the chest of his uniform -- and pinned it on mine. That was one of my proudest moments.
Later, the Captain personally chose me to represent the ship in a ship-handling competition. I was the only officer chosen to compete, and my orientation was known to my shipmates. My discharge investigation was well underway. Not one person griped because I was the one chosen. I showed the Admiral my ship-driving skills, and won the competition.
My Captain wrote in my Fitness Report in 2002 that my “sexual orientation has not disrupted good order and discipline onboard USS SHILOH.”
Both of my Captains testified at my DADT discharge hearing to say they were opposed to the Navy kicking me out.
If not for DADT, I would still be serving today.
Mr. President, help Congress repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” now. We cannot afford any delay.
With respect,
Former Lieutenant Junior Grade Jenny Kopfstein
United States Navy
Today's letter is from former Lieutenant Junior Grade Jenny Kopfstein:Dear Mr. President,
October 12, 2000. It was the day the USS COLE was attacked -- a suicide bomber struck while the ship was harbored and refueling in a Yemeni port. Seventeen American sailors were killed, and 39 were injured.
In the hours that followed – onboard the USS SHILOH also docked in an overseas port – we were put on alert. My Captain chose me to serve as the Officer of the Deck. We were ordered to put to sea immediately and I was to coordinate the underway.
Similarly – on September 11, 2001 – our ship was immediately ordered to sea. We fully expected that we were going to war. We ended up being assigned to protect the west coast from any potential attack.
During these emergencies, I was an open lesbian serving my country.
In a state of alert, no one cared a bit about my sexual orientation, even though they knew about it. The sailors who worked for me looked to me for leadership, and the officers I worked for looked to me for performance.
Years before, when studying at the Naval Academy, my peers and I learned about honor and integrity. The Academy places a special emphasis on these values. On the very first day, they give you uniforms, shoe polish and Brasso, and begin teaching you about the Academy’s Honor Concept. The Honor Concept starts out, “Midshipmen are persons of integrity: they do not lie, cheat, or steal.”
When I graduated from the Naval Academy, I became a Surface Warfare Officer and received orders to the cruiser USS SHILOH. I was excited to serve on a combatant ship.
“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) made it difficult to have normal conversations with my shipmates. If I said I had a dog, someone might ask, “Who takes care of him when you’re at sea?” Answering the simplest questions can get you kicked out. The crew of my ship was my extended family. Keeping parts of my life secret and separate from them is an unnecessary burden, and no American sailor or soldier should be forced to bear it.
Feeling deeply conflicted between the requirements of DADT and the Navy’s Core Values, I wrote my Captain and told him I was a lesbian. I was being forced to lie on a daily basis by DADT. I did not want to get out of the Navy, and I said so in my letter. I wanted to stay and serve honorably, and to maintain my integrity by not lying about who I was.
After I wrote the letter, I continued to do my job on the ship to the best of my ability. We went on a six-month deployment to the Middle East. I qualified as Officer of the Deck, and was chosen to be the Officer of the Deck during General Quarters -- a great honor.
I also earned my Surface Warfare Officer pin. During my pinning ceremony, the Captain removed his own pin -- off the chest of his uniform -- and pinned it on mine. That was one of my proudest moments.
Later, the Captain personally chose me to represent the ship in a ship-handling competition. I was the only officer chosen to compete, and my orientation was known to my shipmates. My discharge investigation was well underway. Not one person griped because I was the one chosen. I showed the Admiral my ship-driving skills, and won the competition.
My Captain wrote in my Fitness Report in 2002 that my “sexual orientation has not disrupted good order and discipline onboard USS SHILOH.”
Both of my Captains testified at my DADT discharge hearing to say they were opposed to the Navy kicking me out.
If not for DADT, I would still be serving today.
Mr. President, help Congress repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” now. We cannot afford any delay.
With respect,
Former Lieutenant Junior Grade Jenny Kopfstein
United States Navy
Pet of the Week: Rasamba
I am so lucky to be at Maxfund No Kill Animal Shelter. I was wandering around by myself for what must have been a long time because when they found me I was very skinny, dehydrated and weak. After a few weeks at the hospital I am all better and have my energy back. While I was there, they discovered I have diabetes. That means I will need to get twice daily insulin injections throughout my life so that my blood sugar stays regulated. But I don't mind getting them! They don't hurt a bit and I'm used to it. The kind folks at Maxfund can show you how to do it; they say it's real easy.
I am also available for foster care, where all my medical expenses and care can be provided by Maxfund. Won't you please give me a home to live in, even as a foster parent? We would both be very happy I can guarantee it!
MilehighGayGuy Advertiser Shout Out: Denver Center Theatre Academy
The Denver Center for the Performing Arts offers acting instruction year-round through the Denver Center Theatre Academy. Led by professional actors and teaching artists, classes are offered for both the beginning and advanced actor. The Denver Center Theatre Academy offers intensive one- or two-day sessions as well as multi-week courses.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Rekers scandal could affect multiple court cases
"Each lawyer must tell the court if he comes to know that one of his witnesses has given 'false' testimony," said Stephen Gillers of New York University.
Gay immigration activist faces deportation to Iran
MileHighGayGuy Advertiser Shout Out: Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains
Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains provides services for gay men in the Denver metro area including STD Testing and Treatment, HIV Testing and Education, Prostate and Testicular Cancer Screenings, and Education and Referrals.
Stories from the Frontlines: An anonymous Marine
Today's letter is from an anonymous Marine:
Dear Mr. President,
On November 4, 2008, I spent the evening at the Democratic Headquarters of a small town. I watched anxiously as election results poured in from across the nation, nervous and hopeful that enough Americans had believed in the change you promised to bring.
Then it happened. The broadcaster announced that the network was declaring you the winner; the tears welled up in my eyes. Cheers erupted and I turned to hug the person standing closest to me, as we all did.
Balloons and confetti flew, and photographers began snapping pictures. One aimed his camera at me and I turned away. After another attempt, he asked if he could take my picture. I said no. I couldn't risk having my photo appear in a newspaper because I am a Marine, and the person in my arms was my boyfriend.
We had met nearly three years earlier while I was in Marine officer training. He was working in a clothing store near a bar I went to on the weekends. I wanted a reason to stay and talk to him, so I bought a pair of shoes I did not need. We went on our first date the next weekend, and the rest was history. I was later stationed across the country and we flew cross-country to see each other. When I found out I was being deployed, he came with my family to see me off.
It was my first deployment, and I had no idea what to expect. It is a strange feeling to say goodbye to someone you know you might never see again. When have you hugged enough? How do you know when to let go? How many times do you tell them you love them? How do you convince them everything will be fine when you are not sure it will be?
I looked at my mom and dad, my sister and nephews, and my boyfriend, trying to burn their images into my mind so I would not forget them.
As I looked around the parade deck and saw my fellow Marines kissing their wives and girlfriends goodbye, I felt crushed. I could not kiss my boyfriend of two years goodbye. Worse, he was afraid to even stand too close to me for fear of anyone getting the wrong idea. I was willing to risk it out of my love for him, but he – like the rest of my family – feared being responsible for doing or saying anything that could have jeopardized my career.
Several years earlier, sitting in a Marine recruiting office, my recruiter asked me if I was gay. He had been trying to explain DADT to me and was frustrated by how long it was taking. He said it only mattered if I was gay, so he asked. It was the first time I was confronted with DADT, but it would not be the last.
When you ask a straight Marine if he is gay, he says no without hesitation. When you ask a gay Marine, he either lies or cites DADT and declines to answer. You can sacrifice your integrity or invite suspicion.
When I returned from Iraq, I had trouble adjusting to being home. Like many of my fellow Marines, I had trouble reconnecting to my friends and family. I did not know how to relate to my boyfriend. I had trouble being intimate, trouble sleeping, trouble expressing my feelings. Our relationship suffered.
I became depressed, and we grew apart. I could not seek counseling because my relationship with him was against the law. Talking to a counselor about my relationship would have resulted in my own discharge. I suffered alone and in silence.
When he finally left me, I was devastated. My other half – my partner through school, transfer, and deployment – was gone. After four years he had grown tired of living with the shades closed in the apartment, afraid that neighbors would see us sitting beside each other on the couch. My work suffered and my colleagues noticed a difference in me, yet I had no choice but to lie and cover it up, insisting that I was fine.
Every day, gay and lesbian service members suffer and our loved ones suffer. We are forced to lie to our brothers-in-arms and our units suffer. We lie about our relationships, and our families lie to protect us.
The law renders us second-class citizens by prohibiting us from having or forming relationships – the same type of relationships our straight counterparts form that are hailed as vital to the health and success of our Armed Forces.
While they have family housing, family counseling, family readiness officers, and key volunteers, we serve alone. We are denied access to services and support created specifically to help us with family issues and stress – much of which results from the very policy that prohibits us from seeking help in the first place.
The sacrifices gay and lesbian families make just to get through each day are more than most people can even fathom, and we do it in silence. I live every day with the knowledge that I could be fired simply for being honest about who I am. I lie about my loved ones and myself in order to survive.
Still, my sense of duty and patriotism drive me to serve despite the restrictions this law imposes on my family and me.
Please, Mr. President, work with Congress to end this discriminatory law.
Let me serve honestly, openly, and with integrity.
Semper Fidelis,
A U.S. Marine
(The writer is currently serving and unable to identify himself publicly.)
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Statement by the White House on court ruling in Malawi sentencing gay couple to 14 years hard labor
The White House has issued the following statement regarding the recent ruling of a Malawi judge sentencing a gay couple to 14 years hard labor:
The White House The United States strongly condemns the conviction and harsh sentencing of Steven Monjeza and Tiwonge Chimbalanga in Malawi. The criminalization of sexual orientation and gender identity is unconscionable, and this case mars the human rights record of Malawi. We urge Malawi and all countries to stop using sexual orientation or gender identity as the basis for arrest, detention, or execution.
The White House The United States strongly condemns the conviction and harsh sentencing of Steven Monjeza and Tiwonge Chimbalanga in Malawi. The criminalization of sexual orientation and gender identity is unconscionable, and this case mars the human rights record of Malawi. We urge Malawi and all countries to stop using sexual orientation or gender identity as the basis for arrest, detention, or execution.
Alex Band - Tonight
He's kind of hot and the song is popular on 'Vampire Diaries' and that's reason enough for me to post.
The Advocate wants you for A Day in Gay America
The Advocate is seeking photos of LGBT Americans for its first “A Day in Gay America.” Photographs must be taken this Friday, May 21, and feature gay Americans living their everyday lives. Everything will be accepted, including images from work, play, or enjoying a quiet moment. The best photos, as selected by The Advocate’s staff, will be featured in the “A Day in Gay America” photo essay to be included in The Advocate’s August 2010 issue as well as on Advocate.com. “One of our most important mandates at The Advocate is to convey the wide diversity of LGBT people. When we do it well, we not only empower our readers, we also have the opportunity to educate people who might not ordinarily pick up our magazine,” said The Advocate’s Editor in Chief, Jon Barrett. “This project, ‘A Day in Gay America,’ has the potential to reflect that diversity like never before—through reader-submitted snapshots from around the country, capturing the everyday and not-so-everyday activities from gay people everywhere.”
On May 21, between 12 a.m. and 11:59 p.m., snap self-portraits or take pictures of friends and family doing anything that says something about life as an LGBT American. From the glamorous to the gritty, from the insane to the mundane, all photographs are welcome and will be considered for the “A Day in Gay America” photo essay.
All photos should be e-mailed to The Advocate at ADayInGayAmerican@advocate.com by Friday, May 28. In the subject line of the e-mail, include an e-mail address, first and last name, phone number, age, time and location of the photo, and a brief description of the photo. Send images as a 4-by-6-inch 300dpi JPEG file no larger than 10MB. TIFF and EPS files can not be accepted. By submitting photos, users agree to the terms and conditions located at www.advocate.com/terms.
Stories from the Frontlines: Cadet Sara Isaacson
Dear Mr. President,
Two Saturdays ago – that’s the day I was looking forward to for four years. May 8, 2010: Commissioning Day.
My parents should have pinned on my rank of Second Lieutenant. I was prepared to take the oath. To swear that I’d support and defend our constitution. But instead, I am writing a letter to you. There was no pinning. There was only the sudden reality that “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” still very much exists and is still very much enforced.
I wish that I could tell you stories about my distinguished military career, deployments, and awards. I cannot share such stories. This past January with you as my Commander-in-Chief, the opportunity to prove my merit as an Army Officer was taken away simply because I’m a lesbian.
Inspired by my grandfather’s service, I made it my goal when I was 13-years-old to spend a career as an Army doctor. This dream was a driving force for me throughout high school and helped me to be accepted at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill with a 4-year Army ROTC scholarship.
Being a Cadet has been an integral part of my identity since the first day I stepped foot on campus. I worked hard to be the best Cadet I could, and felt an obligation to my future soldiers to be a great officer. I was one of the most committed and dedicated members of my battalion. My efforts were rewarded with an “Excellent” rating this summer at the Leader Development and Assessment Camp, placing me in the top 3 Cadets in my platoon and top 20% of the nearly 5,500 Cadets who passed through Ft. Lewis.
I had the opportunity to spend three weeks at an internship at Walter Reed Army Medical Center, where I decided that I wanted to see what life was like in the active duty Army before attending medical school. Instead of immediately pursuing my medical degree, I was fortunate to receive my first choice active duty placement working in the Air Defense Artillery.
My service to my country has centered on the Army core values: Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, Integrity, and Personal Courage. My training has instilled these values in me, and I hold them in the highest regard. No one can take them away from me, and without them, I have nothing to fall back on.
In November of last year, I accepted that I’m a lesbian. It was the values of Honor and Integrity that forced me to come out to my Commander. I agonized wondering if I could go through my career lying about who I am, living in fear of being outed, and putting up emotional walls between me and my soldiers—the very people I must trust with my life and who would need to trust me with theirs.
As much as I longed to be an officer, I realized I was not willing to compromise my Integrity to do so.
Mr. President, I tell you this not looking for sympathy but rather to plead with you to do everything possible to end this arcane, discriminatory law. It hurts our military every day to force our men and women in uniform to lie or else face discharge.
You gave me hope that I might be able to serve honestly and openly in your State of the Union Address. If you repeal this law today, I’ll sign up to serve my country tomorrow.
Please do the right thing. Do not let any more service members be fired for being honest about who they are. Please work with Congress and the Pentagon to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” this year.
Mr. President, we can’t wait any longer.
Very Respectfully,
Former Cadet Sara Isaacson
United States Army
Denver PrideFest 2010: Demented Divas are back!
After a little break and hiatus, Nuclia Waste reports that the Demented Divas are back, funnier, crazier and more risqué than ever!One month from today, the dragulous ladies will be celebrating Pride Weekend festivities at Tracks Nightclub with a brand new show!
Gay couple in Malawi sentenced to 14 years hard labor
Mile High Freedom Band: Lost in Moonlight
Capitol Hill ENDA protest today
GetEQUAL, a new lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) direct action organization, announced today that they will hold an emergency picket on Capitol Hill today, Thursday, May 20th, 2010 to demand that Democratic Congressional Leaders in the House and Senate live up to their promise to schedule a vote this legislative year on the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA). Legislative action on the bill has already fallen victim to numerous postponements surrounded by a lot of rhetoric, without any real action. The legislation has yet to be scheduled for a floor vote in either the House or the Senate and according to House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer’s legislative calendar, less than 45 full voting days remain before Congress adjourns for the mid-term elections nearly six months from now in November. Today’s GetEQUAL protest, to be held at the corner of Independence Ave. SE and 1st St SE (by the Library of Congress), is the latest in a series of actions the grassroots LGBT organization has taken this week to push for a vote to be scheduled now on ENDA.
“We’ve heard all we can stand to hear from leaders in Congress, they promised a vote this calendar year and we expect them to honor their word,” said Robin McGhee, co-founder of GetEQUAL. “As the window continues to slowly close on available legislative calendar dates to vote on ENDA in the House and in the Senate, we will continue to hold Speaker Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Reid accountable for the direct promise they made to the LGBT community. Our community has done the work to lobby and educate members of Congress on the need for a fully inclusive ENDA and now is the time to stop the talking and start the voting.”
“We’ve heard all we can stand to hear from leaders in Congress, they promised a vote this calendar year and we expect them to honor their word,” said Robin McGhee, co-founder of GetEQUAL. “As the window continues to slowly close on available legislative calendar dates to vote on ENDA in the House and in the Senate, we will continue to hold Speaker Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Reid accountable for the direct promise they made to the LGBT community. Our community has done the work to lobby and educate members of Congress on the need for a fully inclusive ENDA and now is the time to stop the talking and start the voting.”
MilehighGayGuy Advertiser Shout Out: Elitch Lanes
Wanna bowl your butt off? Elitch Lanes is gay Denver's favorite bowling alley. Be sure to hit 'em up Tuesday or Thursday nights for Quarter Mania. Just pay a $5 entry fee and then get your games, shoes, and hot dogs for just a quarter each from 9 p.m. to close.
HRC reaffirms call for end to gay blood ban
The Human Rights Campaign has reaffirmed its call for an end to the ban on blood donations by men who have sex with men, upon news that a key committee will hold a hearing on the subject next month. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Advisory Committee on Blood Safety and Availability will meet on Thursday and Friday, June 10 and 11, 2010 to discuss the ban according to a meeting notice posted today in the Federal Register at www.federalregister.gov/OFRUpload/OFRData/2010-12326_PI.pdf. HRC will offer testimony at the hearing and will send a letter with coalition allies urging a revision to the policy.
“The longstanding blood ban cannot be justified by today’s science,” said HRC President Joe Solmonese. “In 2010, we cannot continue to turn away healthy donors based on outdated stereotypes and a decades-old understanding of HIV and AIDS.”
Under a federal rule adopted in 1983, any man who has had sex with another man since 1977, even once, is banned for life from donating blood. Blood donation policy is set by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) and agencies that collect blood donations, such as the American Red Cross, are bound by it. HRC has comprehensive history and other resources posted about the ban on its website at www.hrc.org/BloodBan.
For years, HRC has urged the FDA to revise this policy – formulated during the height of the AIDS crisis – which does not reflect the most up-to-date understanding of HIV transmission, unnecessarily stigmatizes gay and bisexual men, and turns away healthy potential donors. HRC included lifting the blood donation ban as part of its Blueprint for Positive Change, a series of policy recommendations to the Obama administration. More information at: www.hrc.org/laws_and_elections/11699.htm.
In March, the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), in response to a letter from Senator John Kerry (D-MA) and seventeen other Senators, announced they would review this long-standing policy during the now-scheduled meeting of the Advisory Committee on Blood Safety and Availability this summer.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Congratulations on 35 years of Denver PrideFest!
MilehighGayGuy Advertiser Shout Out: Denver Center Theatre Academy
The Denver Center for the Performing Arts offers acting instruction year-round through the Denver Center Theatre Academy. Led by professional actors and teaching artists, classes are offered for both the beginning and advanced actor. The Denver Center Theatre Academy offers intensive one- or two-day sessions as well as multi-week courses.
Stories from the Frontlines: Sergeant Darren Manzella
Today's letter is from Former Sergeant Darren Manzella:Dear Mr. President,
It was spring 2004. I had just arrived in Baghdad. We’d been there all but four days. Then it happened. It was an ambush. It ended with my good friend shot dead. I was overwhelmed by emotions of anger and sadness, but also confusion.
At that moment, my perspective on life changed; I wondered, what if I had been killed in action and had never come to terms with who I truly was and, even worse, never had the chance to share it with my loved ones? There comes a point when acceptance is your only salvation—my return from Iraq was my moment.
I served two tours of duty in the Middle East in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom as a Soldier in the United States Army. I was promoted to sergeant, was a team leader of a medical squad, and conducted over 100 12-hour patrols in the streets of Baghdad, treating wounds and evacuating casualties of sniper fire and roadside bombs. I applied for Officer Candidate School under the recommendation of two generals in my chain of command. But, today, instead of protecting my fellow Americans, I sit working in a university development office because I was discharged under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT).
When I came out, the first people I told were comrades, with whom I had just spent 12 months in Baghdad. To be honest, I was scared of their rejection more than the mortar and rocket attacks, ambushes, or roadside explosives. But, they showed immense understanding of what I had been going through and offered unconditional support. The response from my brothers and sisters in arms proved that the military is a family—no matter if you are man, woman, black, white, transgender, gay, or straight. What truly matters is whether you can trust the person next to you. And how can trust be built around a lie?
One day, I received an email from a Soldier I had never met; it said I was being investigated under DADT and that I would be stripped of my rank and pay and eventually discharged. I tried to ignore it, but the emails continued and became more derogatory. Soon, I began receiving similar phone calls at work.
Unsure of who to trust, on edge every second, and losing more and more sleep each night, I approached my supervisor. I was a Soldier who lived by all seven of the Army values, including honesty. I refused to have someone else end my career. He offered a sympathetic ear before reporting me to the legal department.
After an investigation into my statements and the harassment, I was told I was an exceptional Soldier and to “drive on” with my work. It was a great a relief to break the silence. My colleagues suddenly understood why I had always been so detached and began asking me to join them in activities outside of work.
Later that year my division deployed again and I served the entirety of the deployment as an openly gay Soldier. I no longer had to lie if someone asked if I were married or had a girlfriend, I didn’t have to write my emails in “code.” I no longer feared being “outed.” I finally was able to be honest.
After arriving in Iraq for the second deployment I was promoted once again and served my division as the medical liaison officer in Kuwait. It was there that I participated in an interview with Leslie Stahl for 60 Minutes with the focus being on a out gay Soldier working in a combat zone.
I gave voice to the tens of thousands of men and women who serve everyday under the fear of DADT. The interview also ended my career. I was honorably discharged on June 10, 2008.
While I sit in a safe and comfortable civilian office, former comrades and friends continue to serve, leaving their families for a third, fourth, or even fifth deployment. Why am I not able to stand in the place of my battle buddy who has left his wife three times to deploy and missed the birth of his new born child? Why are exceptions being made to enlist individuals with subpar mental and physical standards? And why are serious convicted felons granted waivers to serve while I was pushed out the door?
Mr. President, last year you restored my hope that this discriminatory law will be repealed, but I must admit that my spirit has been shaken because DADT still exists. Every day, we lose dedicated and capable service members while other Marines, Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Coastguardsmen sacrifice more than their share. My experience demonstrates what matters most is competence, trust and ability. Why then should we wait another year or another decade to do what is right?
Sincerely,
Former Sergeant Darren Manzella
United States Army
Guzman appointed to Colorado Senate seat
Homophobic murders increase in Mexico
The increase in killings may be tied to more openness about sexual orientation in the country, one official said.
Out, damned politician!
"Every gay person who knows the truth about closeted antigay [politicians] has a responsibility to speak up ... This is no longer an issue that is debatable," Signorile writes.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Boots 'n Boxers
It also benefited me personally because I like seeing guys run around in their underpants.
Stories from the Frontlines: An anonymous mother
Today's letter is from the mother of a gay son in the military:
Dear Mr. President and First Lady Obama,
I have been a mom for over a quarter of a century, but I remember each of my children’s births with such joy. I remember my son’s birth. We had picked a boy’s name and a girl’s name, deciding to wait and see. My labor was easy. As the baby was born, the doctor exclaimed that he was a boy! He was doing so well that we brought him home to meet his big sister that very morning.
From the start our son was easygoing and peaceful. He grew to be curious, mischievous, active and strong. He was skiing as soon as he could walk. Our son was fearless, whether he was skiing, skating, riding a bike, or climbing up a rock face. He excelled in team sports as well as individual sports, several times placing in the top ten in U.S. and World competitions.
As a young adolescent, however, he struggled in school. He didn’t fit in. We assumed it was because he was gifted and bored with the assignments. As he went on to high school, his struggles continued. He dropped out, completing his GED on his own, and moved on to college without a clear direction.
During those difficult times, he would come to me late at night, and we would talk things over. As a mom, I treasured those long conversations, happy I could be there for him, and despite his struggles, very proud of the young man he was becoming. One night, perhaps a decade ago, he wanted to talk. On this night, my son said, “Mom, I’m gay.” I immediately told him that no matter what, I loved him. (Later, when he came out to his dad, his father’s reaction was just the same.)
With this knowledge came a new responsibility to honor his right to be in control of who knew and who didn’t. And so began a new phase of our lives: living in the closet.
Our son pondered what to do with his life. One day he came home and announced he had joined the military. He was flush with excitement, fully aware of the risk he was undertaking, but, at the same time, so determined to serve. He excelled in Basic Training. He trained for his job and enjoyed his work as an enlisted man. He deployed abroad. He grew up in front of our eyes.
The officers above him recognized his drive and his ability, and helped him to get into a military program that sent him back to finish college and then commissioned him as an officer. He is well on his way to becoming a military pilot. Not long from now, he’ll earn his wings.
This baby, this boy, this man makes his Mom so proud. But as I think about his life forced in the closet from this “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” it makes waiting for repeal another day that much harder.
Mom’s have lots of dreams when they have babies. All of you moms know what I am talking about. What if your child had to live a lie; had to remain alone through their best and brightest years? My dream for my son is that the United States of America would wake up and realize that times have changed, that people who happen to be gay or lesbian are really just like the rest of us, with the same aspirations, the same needs, and the same goals.
“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” throws more than just service people into the closet; it throws moms, dads, siblings, grandparents, godparents, friends and loved ones in there as well.
As a mom, my heart breaks for all the gay and lesbian “kids” in the military, and for all the special people in their lives who live with us in the closet.
I dream of actually being able to write to the President, my senators and representatives in the Congress, and actually signing my name, something I can’t do now due to the risk of outing my son.
I dream of the day when my son won’t have to live in fear, even as he works to keep the rest of us from living in fear.
And yes, as a mom, I dream of my son getting married to the man of his dreams. I dream they will have all the rights that my husband and I do. I dream that my son won’t have to wait through his entire military career to find love. We all yearn for love.
Today, even in the closet, I dare to dream.
Signed,
A mother in the closet
(The writer is unable to identify herself publicly without risk to her son’s military career.)
HIV focus group in Denver
Participants must be HIV positive gay men 35 years of age or older. The focus groups will last approximately two hours and participants will be paid $50.
For more information email mmorales@thehennegroup.com.
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