Lesbian matchmaker takes on Patti Stanger

Millionaire Matchmaker's Patti Stanger made some offensive remarks against gay men on Bravo's Watch What Happens Live this weekend. During the broadcast she stated that "There is no curbing the gay," and joked that gay men are rarely monogamous. 

Since then, she offered a lukewarm apology via Twitter. But during Stanger's interview on Joy Behar's show today, she went on to rail against the gay male community, offering a litany of what many are saying are false stereotypes and claims about promiscuity, an extra chromosome and less testosterone in gay men, and that gay marriage in New York is a privilege. 

Today, Dr. Frankie Bashan (pictured), one of the country's leading LGBT matchmakers, as well as a relationship expert, couples counselor, clinical psychologist and founder of Little Gay Book, offered up her statement regarding Stanger's recent outbursts. 

Bashan, a lesbian herself, has been married for close to nine years and has two children. She is a relationship advice columnist for Curve Magazine, and has recently offered expert advice in Glamour, Match.com's Happen Magazine, and on NPR Radio. 

"Patti Stanger's recent interviews are upsetting and disappointing. She claims to be a strong supporter of the gay community but makes offensive remarks, such as that marriage is now a 'privilege' to gays in New York, and continues to make sweeping generalities about 'all' gay men being promiscuous, that 'there's no curbing the gay,' that all gay men hang out at The Abbey in Los Angeles, and that 'all' lesbians get involved and 'move in together and are quiet living in peace.' She also states that Grindr is only used for impulsive sex and that there isn't an equivalent for heterosexuals."

As for Patti's comments about testosterone, higher levels of testosterone can lead to higher libido, which can result in higher sexual activity and drive. However, it doesn't mean that if one feels more sexual that they necessarily react on the impulse in all cases. The fact is men overall often have a higher sex drive than women, but that doesn't always mean they act on what they are feeling all of the time. If she thinks that gay men are promiscuous due to testosterone levels, she must be saying that heterosexual men are also promiscuous."     

"Her statements reinforce many stereotypes, including the false belief that gays are unable and incapable of having healthy monogamous relationships. Promiscuity and dysfunction are not exclusive to the gay community. Patti should know that using absolutes like 'always,' 'never' and 'most,' will trigger negative reactions amongst members of an already marginalized population who are struggling to achieve equal rights and protections already afforded to mainstream society."