Friday, November 22, 2013

Ask Eric Anything: Why Are My Gay Friends So Intolerant Of My Bisexuality?

By Eric Kehela

With a passion for writing and performing, Eric uses his honed skills and intuition to guide, communicate and connect with the people around him. 

The best advice he can give is, “Grow from light and always find truth within you. Reach for the galaxies, shoot beyond the stars and always aim with your heart.”


Dear Eric,

I am a gay man who is also occasionally attracted to women.

I have no problem whatsoever with my sexuality but find myself constantly disappointed at the constant stream of biphobia I experience from my gay friends and acquaintances.

I always thought the gay community would be more understanding and accepting but find that my straight friends are much more accepting of this side of myself.

My questions for you are:

1.) How can I explain to my gay friends that their biphobic jokes and comments are hurtful and offensive

2.) Why do you think there is so much biphobia in the gay community? 


Sincerely, Ambiphilic

Dearest Ambiphilic


Now is the time for you to look deep within, whilst beginning to honor your values and that which matters most to you. 


Though the mundane reality may appear continuous and linear, there is much happening on a cosmic-spiritual-universal level, causing attitudes, behaviors and situations to manifest, furthermore leading people to separate and walk a different path. Be prepared to release the old and welcome the new. Be not resistant of change, or change will consume you. 

Moreover, regardless of your sexual identity, you deserve to be surrounded by true friends, as you are to be loved for who you are. Your happiness is what truly matters most in this experience, named life. If necessary, kindly remind your friends (in a tone which best demands positive attention), that negative verbiage is déclassé, not empowering and you will not engage in that form and style of communicative banter, laden with disparaging remarks towards individuals in the LGBTQ community, inclusive of yourself. 

Communicate with your friends and express your feelings; inasmuch, friends should be supportive and uplifting, not the contrary. Surround yourself with others whom genuinely value you. Why surround yourself with individuals who make you feel uncomfortable? It is best to be your own company, than to be with those who hurt your feelings. I remember an old phrase in Spanish, which roughly translates to, “Tell me who you are with, and I shall tell you who you are.” Though these words may appear judgmental, it is important for you to be aware of the energy of those around you, as their energy may not be suited for you after all. 

Biphobia exists where ignorance and fear reside. These phobias perpetuate the lack of knowledge. Be the change you wish to see in the community. Do a web search and find local organizations like meetup.com , sageusa.org, or go to The Center and create (or join) a group in hopes of educating and spreading awareness. You may just meet new and empowering friends. Move forward leaving the past and individuals who pressure you to be someone other than who you are best –YOU! 

In futurespect, remember like attracts like; therefore, how do you desire your life-path to manifest? Be certain to stand in your truth and remain true to yourself. Whether it be a man or woman, whom you choose to marry, how would you like your fairy tale to play out? I advise you to let go of that and those which no longer serve you and keep forward on your path towards fulfillment and happiness. It starts with you! 

Eric Kehela has worked as a life-coach and therapist and is currently pursuing a Master's degree in Professional Counseling. His goal is to make a difference and help others along the way. Click here to follow him on Twitter.