I had to take many deep breathes before the anger in me subsided enough to write a post about "no homo", a phrase I became aware of yesterday while checking out photo comments of a vegan athlete on Instagram.
For background here, I follow several athletes on Instagram. Many times I "like" their photos as they inspire me. On Instagram I'm TheGayVegans so it is obvious that a gay guy is "liking" their photo.
A friend of this person was giving him a compliment about his body and preceded his compliment with "no homo". I didn't know what that meant so asked. Another person answered me telling me it's a way for a guy to give another guy a compliment while making sure the guy knows he isn't being hit on.
Seriously. This really happens. In fact it is common.
The person whose photo I had been looking at also answered my question, saying that his friend was a lifelong friend and meant nothing homophobic about the phrase and in fact was a big supporter of equality.
The guy who answered me first responded to my response in which I said this was offensive, telling me that on some body building sites they even use a term "phaggot" and that "no homo" is common not only in the workout communities but also in many rap songs.
I was honestly blown away.
I thought about asking more questions, like if you and your friend have been friends for years why can't you compliment each other without the concern (as it seems it is indeed a concern) that either of you is gay? Or so what if one of you is gay? Or, what do homos say if they want to compliment you? Or, what do you say to a woman who you are complimenting but not hitting on?
Holy cow what the heck is wrong here?
The guy who wrote "no homo" on his friends comment area told me that in no way did he mean to offend me and he apologized. I believe him.
I believe that the guys I am writing about do not hate gay men. I take them on their word that they support equality. So what gives? Why do people like that feel like it is completely appropriate to use a phrase like "no homo".
One explanation made to me by the guy whose photo I was looking at was that yes, sometimes politically incorrect language is used.
Politically incorrect?
How about outright offensive. In so many ways.
I am asking you as our readers to spread this story around. I am asking you to stand with us and spread the word that "no homo" is unacceptable.
This post originally appeared on Dan Hanley's website The Gay Vegans. Republished with permission.
