On how her view of herself changed: "When I started transitioning 20 years ago, the goal of transitioning was not to be openly trans,” she says. “The goal of transitioning as presented to me by all the trans women that I admired was that you transition and you go and disappear and don't tell anyone your business.” ... There were a lot of times over many years I went through the world not leading with being trans, but someone always knew,” Cox says. “I had to really get to a place in my life where I was able to be good with being trans or I was going to have to kill myself.”
On the importance of "cheesy" self care affirmations: “There's a bit of cynicism that I, too, have had about doing affirmations, but it's really a wonderful thing,” she says. “Sometimes you say it until you believe it. I can't say I haven't looked in the mirror and said, “‘Work, bitch.’”.... “Loving myself is a practice,” she says. “It is something that I must cultivate and it is something that I must consciously do or it will go away.”
On dating: “I wanted a man to validate my womanhood or validate that I'm attractive,” “I'm not buying it anymore,” she says. “I'm not buying into that, I'm not having it. I'm sexy and I'm going to own that because I think trans women…are sexy. A lot of us are sexy not despite our transness, but because of our transness. That's just the truth.”
On the panic attacks she she says she experienced when she recently bought a condo in Los Angeles: “I think in part it was because of not being used to abundance, because I've had two eviction notices in my life, and I hadn't fully dealt with that trauma,” she says.
On her "survivors-guilt" over her success, while so many other trans women of color suffer: “I understand that I'm very lucky,” she says. “I understand that I've been chosen. It makes me sad…it’s very intense.”
