Showing posts with label Dan Hanley. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dan Hanley. Show all posts

Friday, June 28, 2013

MileHighGayGuys Discuss DOMA and Marriage Equality: Dan Hanley

"A divided US Supreme Court made public two decisions yesterday that will change our lives. Me and Mike's lives. And the lives of tens of thousands of other gay couples who are either already married or wish to be married.

Here in Colorado, there is a state constitutional amendment that defines government endorsed marriage as between a man and a woman. Recently civil unions became legal which offers Mike and I some state benefits.

We were married back in 2005. We did what many folks do: met, dated, fell in love, asked our pastor to marry us, he said yes, and then we joined 160 friends and family and got married.

We called our marriage ceremony "a loving act of civil disobedience" mainly because that amazing ceremony was not legal in any way.

We have held off getting a civil union. With the news from yesterday we are talking about getting legally married in California, probably not in July when we go for our summer vacation but maybe later in the year. We are still trying to figure out if getting married there will mean that we can still be federally recognized in Colorado.

So we would be legally married in the eyes of the feds and would still have to get a civil union for any Colorado recognition.

Meanwhile our lives continue. We’ll have dinner tonight, pool time tomorrow, helping a friend do some moving on Sunday. The normality of our non-legal marriage fits write alongside those who are legally married.

Our lives and our marriage go on. We are incredibly and lovingly grateful for all of our friends and family who have stood beside us and our cause. Sometimes we are blown away by the support.

In the days to come, there will be a lot of hate speech against the Supreme Court decision and against gay people in general. The vile hatred of religious extremists has already begun in full force. Please join us in continuing to speak out for marriage equality and against hate."

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

The Gay Vegans: Non-profits we donate to


By Dan Hanley

We believe that our money can help many passionate groups work at their mission even better! SO we donate when we can.  These are groups we have financially supported in the last year:


Central Missouri Humane Society
http://www.cmhspets.com/


Espanola Humane Society
http://www.evalleyshelter.org/


Farm Sanctuary
http://www.farmsanctuary.org/


Max Fund
http://www.maxfund.org/


Mercy For Animals
mercyforanimals.org


One Colorado
http://www.one-colorado.org/


Peaceful Prairie
http://www.peacefulprairie.org/


Southern Plains Land Trust
http://www.southernplains.org/


Urban Peak
http://urbanpeak.org/


Vegan Outreach
veganoutreach.org

This post originally appeared on Dan Hanley's website The Gay Vegans. Republished with permission.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

The Gay Vegans: Not supporting those who fight against gay people

By Dan Hanley

NOTE: Sometimes I start with a title, like this one about not supporting those who do not support gay people (equality) and the post turns into more. This is the case of this post as I began to write about not only those who do not support equality but also companies that partake in cruelty to animals.

It's not always easy being a voice for the voiceless or supporting equality or being vegan and being up to date with who is on the side of your cause and who isn't.

It's also not fun all of the time. "I really love the product". "I can't wait to go shopping there".

Sometimes I read about or listen to friends talk about buying something or going somewhere and I cringe.



We hear from readers all of the time who face the same dilemma.

A coffee house run but religious extremists, or at least promoting churches that are extreme.

A running race supported and promoted by anti-gay religious groups. Restaurants that serve meat, but have amazing vegan food. On this one, we get it. And we are grateful for restaurants who jump into vegan cuisine. Our favorite restaurants are not vegan-only and serve the best vegan food in town.

Politicians, products lines, whole companies.

What to do, what to do?

Coming out as vegan is a good start. You can see the difference this makes in the huge amount of choices we as vegans have not only in restaurants but in markets and non-food stores. Big change just in the past couple of years.

Coming out as a voice for the voiceless is huge too. "I care about these animals or these people, so I am not going to buy your product or run in your race anymore."

If a company wants to make money, they will listen. Maybe not the first time they hear something, or the second. But eventually they will.

Maybe that's why one of the largest pork producers (an industry losing profit) bought out a soy milk/tofu company (an industry gaining profit).

I write about this a lot. When we use our voices to be a voice for those who have none, we change the world.
There are so many examples. One is sitting in our fridge. Several years ago the amazing company White Wave, maker of Silk products, was bought by Dean Foods. Vegan awesomeness meet profiteer of animal cruelty on so many levels. It took us a while to stop buying Silk soy milk and years after the buyout we still purchase Silk creamer. We think about the pigs tortured by Dean Foods all of the time, and yet we still buy Silk soy milk.

This post originally appeared on Dan Hanley's website The Gay Vegans. Republished with permission.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

The Gay Vegans: Yak and Yeti Restaurant Review

By Dan Hanley

Fresh from Vida Vegan Con and so many lessons learned for blogging, I decided to take some of what I learned and write a restaurant review.

A couple of hours after returning from Portland Mike and I headed to Yak and Yeti for a bite to eat. We have been going to their Arvada location on Ralston Road for several years. Our love for the began when they created a separate vegan menu and has just grown. A couple of years ago it felt like there were new owners (not sure if that is the case) and service got pretty bad. Now, everything is back to wonderful service and amazing Nepalese and Indian cuisine.

For those of you unfamiliar with Arvada, Yak and Yeti is about a mile west of Wadsworth at Ralston, and Ralston is about a mile north of the I-70 at Wadsworth exit.

First things first. Order the mango shake. The server will give you a puzzled look but don't back down. No, you don't want the mango lassi. That has dairy. You want the mango shake, something they have prepared for me many times, made with soy milk. Trust me, it's delicious.

Depending on how hungry we are, we may or may not order the Veggie Pakora. it's perfect. We order it without onions as in the past we have gotten orders that were more than half onions. This hasn't happened recently but just in case we still order it without onions.

Mike's favorite is the Chana Saag. He loves it, and it's one of the reasons he loves going to Yak and Yeti. It's rare when one can find vegan Chana Saag and it is done superbly.

Sometimes I share with Mike and sometimes I get my own. Last night I got the Bhindi Masala and LOVED it. The okra was perfect and I ordered it medium so I could get just a little kick from the heat.

The vegan options are plentiful. There is no longer a separate vegan menu, and the vegan choices follow the vegetarian choices towards the back of the menu. If you want vegan bread, they have Roti and we enjoy that as well.

Service is great at Yak and Yeti. Always a welcoming greeting. Always filled water glasses. Everyone is very friendly and the staff knows all about vegan food. Typically a manager swings by just to make sure all is perfect with your meal.

Finally, I have to let you know that they also brew their own beers and on any given day they offer five or six of them to accompany your meal. As I don't drink, I don't have a recommendation. I will say that I see many beers being served with dinner so that has to mean something.

For those of you new to our reviews (we've also reviewed on Yelp), we typically will visit a restaurant at least three times before we consider a review and the review is equally based on food and service. Gone are the days of us accepting poor service in any way. I am pretty much done with a server acting as if I am in their way by coming to the restaurant to eat.

I haven't decided on a restaurant rating system yet, so I will just say that we definitely recommend Yak and Yeti. Check them out and let us know what you think!

This post originally appeared on Dan Hanley's website The Gay Vegans. Republished with permission.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

The Gay Vegans: Brunch at Linger

By Dan Hanley

Linger is our favorite place to eat in Denver. I have written posts about them before, and our affinity for them boils down to two things: incredible vegan food and amazing hospitality.

Brunch is a great time for friends and family to gather for good food and good conversation while having time afterwards to enjoy a whole day. Now you can do brunch at Linger!

Last week I was living in dream land when I was invited to enjoy a press tasting of their new brunch. Linger now serves brunch from 10:00am - 2:00pm on Sundays.

Because I have been away from the drinking culture for awhile, I had forgotten that a good brunch had good drinks. I didn't try the three, $3.00 cocktails offered at brunch as a special yet everyone around me did and enjoyed them. The $3.00 cocktails include the Linger Mimosa, Bloody Mary and the Coconut Fizz. For those of us who don't drink, they also make delish mocktails.

I started out with the sopapilla and could have just eaten those for the rest of the tasting. Light, delicious and a great addition to any brunch. And available vegan. Two please!

A great accompaniment to the sopapilla is the Anti Milkshake. Naturally vegan. Made with almonds so if you have an allergy you can try the Green Gringo Citrus Horchata which is also vegan.

Next I tried the Chorizo Tacos which are made with Soyrizo and topped off with an avocado aioli. I instantly realized that like their vegan duck buns for dinner, I could easily eat two or three of these at a sitting.


A brunch offering that is similar to their dinner menu is their Breakfast Dosa. We love the Dosa at dinner time as this version is perfect. Complete with a little maple syrup and it's the perfect addition to your table full of brunch delicacies.

Still hungry? You can simply add a side of Brussels Sprouts!

One of the many things we love about Linger is that their menu changes frequently. Don't worry. They always have a wonderful assortment of vegan deliciousness. My fingers are crossed for a vegan French Toast! Mmmm.

Linger is at 2030 West 30th Avenue in Denver's LoHi neighborhood. Their phone number is 303.993.3120. Reservations are highly recommended.

This post originally appeared on Dan Hanley's website The Gay Vegans. Republished with permission.

Friday, April 19, 2013

The Gay Vegans: Bacterial meningitis killing gay men

By Dan Hanley

I just read a story about a gay man in West Hollywood, CA who contracted meningitis and is now brain dead. He was fine one day, then became ill, hospitalized and now will most likely die.

I have read similar stories about gay men in New York City, as recent as last week. After looking up some information, seven gay men have died of meningitis since 2010. There are 13 reported cases of meningitis just this year in New York City. There seems to be an out break right now.

There is a vaccine.

"Although the vaccine can help prevent the disease, it is not used to treat it. Even if diagnosed early and treated with antibiotics, the disease can still sometimes cause permanent brain damage, hearing loss, kidney failure or even death." From an article in the San Francisco Chronicle.

I am not a doctor. And I am just learning. But I feel I need to do my part as a gay blogger to get this word out.

If you are sexually active and not in a monogamous relationship, please read more about this and consider getting the vaccine. The vaccine is 80-90% effective and in most cases one dose works. Those with HIV and some others may need two doses, over a period of a couple of months.

From what I have read, this can be spread through sex or even kissing.

In New York City, the city's health officials recently put out a warning. They have urged men who "regularly have intimate contact with other men" to get vaccinated for meningitis.

This brings back memories of the 1980's to me. The difference is that for the cases reported, the cause of death is known. And most importantly, there is a vaccine.

This may just be a small outbreak. The fact that deaths have now occurred in areas with big gay male populations may or may not end up being very relevant. Yet, I just had to write about this.

Again, no medical background. All I have presented here came from reading articles online for the past hour or so. We must get the word out.

Please spread the word.

This post originally appeared on Dan Hanley's website The Gay Vegans. Republished with permission.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

The Gay Vegans: "Fu**ing Faggot" - proper language at Rutgers

By Dan Hanley

UPDATE: Mike Rice has been fired.

I hesitated writing the title of a blog post that includes words that make me uncomfortable. I assure you this is a direct quote, and because of the power of the two words combined, I decided to go ahead with the title.

I was enjoying morning time with the furries watching the CBS Morning Show and watched as they showed video of the Rutgers (university in New Jersey) head basketball coach Mike Rice hit, pushed, threw basketballs at and shouted gay slurs to his players. One of the things I heard him say on the tape is the title of this post. He also called his players "fairies".

As I have written about many times here, language is huge. In a time when it seems equality is getting stronger and more and more people are getting comfortable with the idea of gay people getting married let alone existing, we get to watch video of a very well paid man call someone this.

How far have we seriously come when the worst thing a coach can think of calling one of his players to denigrate him or make him feel small is a faggot?

And just in case you're wondering, this guy, as of this morning (April 3, 2013) still has his job.

The violence. The words. These are not actions and statements from someone who should be respected in any way. This guy is a coach!

Fire him. Today.

From the athletic director Tom Pernetti on suspending the coach:  "This was not an easy decision for me to make but absolutely necessary to ensure what is best for our program."

Seriously? He saw the video in November! It seems he is now only taking action because of the video becoming public. By the way, thank you ESPN for showing the video. It was not an easy decision to suspend him?

I simply don't get it. Oh, I get the world of sports. I don't get that any university, school, program, etc would want anything to do with a man like Mike Rice.

Fire Mike Rice. Fire him today.

Thanks for reading.

This post originally appeared on Dan Hanley's website The Gay Vegans. Republished with permission.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

The Gay Vegans: Date night - taking care of ourselves

By Dan Hanley

There is a lot going on in our world. Both Mike and I seem really busy with work, civil unions were just passed, the US Supreme Court is hearing arguments on Prop 8 and the Defense of Marriage Act (rulings on both could affect marriage equality) and the list of emails/letters to write in support of animals is endless.

So what do we do?

Date night.

Mike is at his bi-weekly boot camp and I am cooking dinner. The furries have eaten and when Mike gets home we get to enjoy each others company, talk about our days, love on each other.

One of my firm beliefs is that in order to be a strong voice for the voiceless, in order to be a warrior for equality, I need to take care of myself first. That includes eating well, exercising, prayer and meditation, time with friends and definitely date nights with my husband.

When was the last time you had a date night with your other half?

Sometimes it's dinner out. Or a hike. Lately it also includes a run as we both train for our first half marathon. Regardless, it's time alone, just us.

I love it. I highly recommend it.

On date nights we both reinvigorate personally as well as a couple. It's not that we can't do that every day, it's that with the list of things going on that I wrote of above, it's easier to do when the focus is on date night.

Tonight's dinner is simple: blackened tofu with black beans, kale, butternut squash and corn. I tossed in some cayenne pepper, salt and pepper. It's all just cooking together on a low heat. It smells delish.

Of course date night can also include cooking together. That's a blast. When we do that Mike does most of the cooking and I do most of the talking!

We'd love to hear of your date nights!

Take care of yourselves. Make good decisions, ones that are healthy for you, your relationship, the animals and our world.

Thank you for reading!

This post originally appeared on Dan Hanley's website The Gay Vegans. Republished with permission.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

The Gay Vegans: News from Colorado - gays, guns and pot

By Dan Hanley

If you read the national headlines, news from Colorado in the past week can be summed up in two words: gays and guns.

This past week a civil unions bill, twenty years in the making, passed through our state house 39 - 25 and will be signed by our governor. Civil unions will be legal in Colorado starting May 1st. The anti-gay venom was alive and well in the debates, yet nothing new was said. The message of hate and prejudice never seems to change even if the faces of those expressing the message do.

NOTE: Mike and I were married in our church on April 30, 2005. As huge of a deal as it was to us it is not recognized by our state or federal government. We will be in line on May 1st to get civil unioned.

Also this week, several gun laws were passed. I have been doing my best to keep up with them but even that effort hasn't been enough to have a good grip on what is going on. Gun rights activists are pissed off as you can see in any comments section for articles or postings about the bills that will most likely now become law. The bills include a 15-round magazine limit, having gun purchasers pay for their background check and one around universal background checks (adding private sales to when a background check is required).

I have read a lot around these. Those supporting the measures believe that they will make Colorado safer while those opposing them believe that the government is infringing on their 2nd Amendment rights and that the bills will do nothing to make the public safer.

As in some other heated topics, people who disagree with each other say unfortunate things. It's pathetic that we as communities cannot debate ideas without personally slamming someone or in some cases even threatening violence.

One thing I really liked from the gun debate (and many probably hated, especially those working in the state capitol) was that on the day that the state senate was debating gun bills, folks opposed to the bills kept a continuous flow of drivers circling the capitol and honking their horns. I thought that was great activism. I wanted to even stand on a corner there and hold a sign that said "honk for gay marriage!"

Also in the headlines here is news about medical marijuana and a new amendment (64) that was passed by voters in November making it legal to be carrying a small amount of marijuana. It's fascinating to watch how this affects people. I read today that our governor has said that while meeting with potential business folks who may consider moving to Colorado their biggest concern is marijuana. I believe him when he says this and I the same time I am thinking "seriously?".

Regarding animals, nothing has really come to the legislature regarding protection, welfare or cruelty. I did see one bill about vet care of ill farmed animals which did not pass (animal groups were opposed to it).

Meanwhile in Colorado spring is here and we have had some beautiful weather. I don't think I can take the sand bags out of the bed of my truck quite yet but winter is definitely coming to an end.

Politics is fascinating. Less than two months left in our state legislative session and I wonder if it is going to get any more exciting. Regardless of people's opinions, I am excited to see so many people get involved politically and make their voices heard.

Thanks for reading!

This post originally appeared on Dan Hanley's website The Gay Vegans. Republished with permission.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

The Gay Vegans: What is sexy? Body image in our gay, vegan world.

By Dan Hanley

It was the summer of 1995. I was single and living in Norfolk, VA. My summer tan was rocking and I was looking good. I was headed to Richmond for the weekend with a friend, and had to find something sexy to wear to the club. I am laughing hard while writing this as what I bought is something I would never wear now. I went with a pair of overalls but not your ordinary farmer guy overalls. These were overalls that were shorts, not long pants. Oh yeah, I was not messing around.

Off to Richmond we went. My outfit rocked. I felt sexy. So sexy that I didn't wear a tshirt underneath.

So sexy.

It wasn't always that way.

I was 29 when I first wore a tank top in public. Just before that was the first time I would go shirtless at a beach. I would take my shirt off to swim, but if I wasn't swimming, I had the shirt on.

I was skinny. In the Navy guys would call me the Ethiopian poster child. When I got sober I weighed all of 138 pounds and was the same height I am today at 197 pounds (6'3"). Body shame was ingrained in every ounce of my being.

Little by little the my body shame went away. Once in a while it returns, but for just brief moments. The funny thing about that is one day I can feel good about my body and the very next day I can feel some type of negativity about my body. Of course overnight my body had not changed! I realized long ago that the way I feel about my body is probably the way I feel about myself as a person. If I can learn to love myself then I could probably become comfortable with my body.

These days I am very comfortable with my body. In the summer time I rarely wear a shirt, and I love driving home from work in summer afternoons shirtless and listening to dance music. I work out, swim and play racquetball but I do all of those things to be healthy, not so my body might look perfect to others.

I find sexiness in compassion. I find it in kindness. I can see a guy being loving to his girlfriend and find sexiness in that. It isn't always about the looks. Don't get me wrong, I think Adam Levine is very sexy, as well as a handful of other guys I have posted on Pinterest. You will notice that many of these guys are doing incredible things in this world, a big part of what makes them sexy.

I wanted to write this blog post to let those who struggle with body image know that I can totally relate, and that the person they are is much more important than the body they inhabit.

Thank you for reading.

This post originally appeared on Dan Hanley's website The Gay Vegans. Republished with permission.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

The Gay Vegans: Can you spare 47 minutes?

By Dan Hanley

Many years ago, in anticipation of gifts and cash that I knew were headed my way for my birthday, I asked family and friends to donate to their local animal shelter or local HIV/AIDS organization rather than gift me anything. I have been thrilled to hear of all of the groups doing great work around the country receiving donations and in fact many of those same family and friends ask for the same thing now.

This year for my birthday I was thinking of the same thing. Now with this blog, and being connected to even more amazing people who want to change the world, I have thought of something different. And to be honest with you I am going to be 47 and asking someone to donate $47.00 is a little different than asking them to donate $25.00.

So this year I am asking people do donate 47 minutes. Everyone is busy, I know. And as I have written many times, 47 minutes can change the world. Will you donate 47 minutes of your day in the coming week to make someones day? To be a voice for the voiceless? To change the world for someone?

I am sure that many who read our blog already donate their time, so the thought process on what to do shouldn't take very long. Here are some ideas just in case:

Walk a dog at your local animal shelter.

Play with a cat at your local animal shelter.

Make a vegan pie for your neighbor.

Read a book at your local elementary school.

Bring vegan muffins or brownies to the staff at your favorite local non-profit.

Drop off dinner at a friends house.

Call someone you love who you haven't spoken to in a long time.

Write a letter to someone serving time in prison.

Go to your local highway intersection and clean up the trash.

Serve a meal at your local homeless shelter.

Gather used blankets from your neighbors and donate them to your local animal sanctuary.

Take a platter of baked deliciousness to the USO Welcome Center at your local airport.

Write a letter to an Amnesty International prisoner of conscience.

 Whew. I should stop. As I write, my wheels are turning and I am imagining all who read this stepping out of their busy, maybe hectic lives and taking 47 minutes in service of others.

You don't have to do this alone. Do something with a group of friends. I promise you that your action will not only make someones day, but add a ton of cheer to your day as well!

Thank you for reading and thank you for being so amazingly supportive of our blog!

This post originally appeared on Dan Hanley's website The Gay Vegans. Republished with permission.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Meet the MileHighGayGuy Bloggers: Dan Hanley

Dan Hanley: Gay and vegan in the 'burbs (Lakewood, CO), Dan Hanley blogs about veganism, equality, compassion, activism, politics, spirituality and the awesome life experiences of The Gay Vegans. The "s" includes his husband, Mike! Check them out at The Gay Vegans Cruelty-Free World on Facebook or @TheGayVegans on Twitter.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

The Gay Vegans: Another Gay Teen Suicide

By Dan Hanley

It happened January 19th. A loving young man named Jaden Bell hung himself in La Grande, Oregon. On a playground. He was 15.

I haven't been able to find that much information on Jaden. I read an article about a candlelight vigil attended by over 200 before he was taken off of life support. Many fellow high school students described him as loving and compassionate.

There was also talk of Jaden being bullied. One article said that he had begged his parents to allow him to be home schooled and that he had recently asked school administrators for help.

I keep thinking of how much this world needs another loving and compassionate person.

From Jaden's mother: “The next time you are thinking of being unkind to someone, think to yourself, if that person was a member of your family, would you want them treated like that?” Don’t treat them like that.”

There is so much unkindness in this world.

I have written about bullying and hatred and being kind. This morning, as I think about Jaden walking to that playground, I don't know what else to write.

Well, maybe just some reminders:

We have the power to speak out against hatred and bullying.

We have the power to speak out against hate speech, regardless of who it is coming from.

We have the power to love one another.

Thank you for reading. Think about Jaden today.

This post originally appeared on Dan Hanley's website The Gay Vegans. Republished with permission.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

The Gay Vegans: Living In Exile

By Dan Hanley

Living in exile. I used to think that only gay people had to deal with this based on my personal experiences. Of course that has never been true.

The Christmas before I came out I was with some friends who were also gay and in the Navy and they were talking about going to Washington DC for the holiday. I thought it odd that they wouldn't go home and their response was that this is what it was like to live in exile. Back then, as now, some families did not want their openly gay children at family gatherings or special occasions. Yes, it's hard to imagine and I assure you this still happens.

More common these days is that the gay family member will be "invited" to the big family gathering or special occasion but the partner or spouse is not welcome. Yes, in 2013, this conversation is being had at many kitchen tables and in many living rooms.

When my cousin Jennifer got married she made it very clear that me and my partner were invited. This was back in 1997 and it almost seems like a lifetime ago. Jennifer and I had grown up together, I love her very much and it didn't even come close to a thought that my partner would not be invited to her wedding. (Not to mention that gay people stereotypically give great wedding gifts!)

In the 23 years that I have been out there have been many times I did not want to attend a family gathering because of who might be there or what might be said in front of my partner and now husband. I have always understood that there will be people everywhere, in and out of family, that are not comfortable with me dating or being married to a man. Knowing this helps me in making decisions on whether or not I want my beloved to be treated poorly. This is more like self-imposed exile, and it is no fun.

Mike and I have family members who decide not to visit us because they are afraid they won't be able to eat meat while visiting us. The practice in our home is that there is no violence allowed, including that of eating animals. It's really not that big of a deal as our neighbors are not vegan and there are a ton of places to eat around us that serve meat.

And then there is religion. Friends who are of different faiths in their parents eyes are not included in certain gatherings because one of them is not of the family faith.

And race. The list could go on and on. Whether we choose to not be a part of something or that choice is made for us, living in exile is no fun. What we can do about it is to show up at gatherings with love and openness and to accept nothing more than love and recognition for who we are or who our partner or spouse is. We can also make sure that through word and action we never allow friends or family to live in exile, whether it is self-imposed or not.

We want our friends and family to always feel love and support from us, to always know that they have a safe, loving place in our home.

To anyone reading this is is living in exile: You are not alone. We love you.

Thanks for reading.

This post originally appeared on Dan Hanley's website The Gay Vegans. Republished with permission.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

The Gay Vegans: Unemployed

By Dan Hanley

I have always used this blog to write about Mike and I, equality, compassion, being vegan, and our experiences of being a gay, vegan couple in the suburbs. I have shared the good and the bad in my life, and decided this morning to continue that tradition.

Yesterday I was laid off. In my professional life I am a fundraiser, a Director of Development. I had rocked it for almost two years at our local opera company. Loved my job. After a very tough year in fundraising my boss decided that cutting back would begin with me.

I wasn't surprised. Life had become dark at work in the past week. A lot of closed door meetings and no communication at all.

When my boss called me down to his office and I walked in to see him and our Human Resources guy, I was honestly relieved. He told me his story of why, my HR guy gave me some paperwork, and I headed back to my office. Tears were shed by some of my peers. I was grateful for their kindness and support, and for helping me move out of my office!

Although I never really quite fit in at this company, I did love it, and already miss a few of my co-workers. I will also miss many things around the opera performances, which kind of surprises me.

I had one job interview/chat yesterday afternoon and have another on Monday.

And so less than 24 hours after being laid off I am in my dining room surrounded by the furries doing job searches, trying to not be angry with being let go and thinking that I have a full day today to rock it.

A friend and professional peer is taking me to my favorite Mexican restaurant, Tarascos, for lunch. That's my only solid plan for the day.

I have never been unemployed, so this is new to me. I have been fortunate to always be the one who gets a call asking if I am interested in a job.  I feel like I was born to fundraise but who knows what my new adventure looks like.

I promise not to inundate you with blog posts, yet I will keep you posted. Meanwhile, if you hear of a fundraising job with an organization that you think is making the world a better place, let me know.

Thank you for reading! 


This post originally appeared on Dan Hanley's website The Gay Vegans. Republished with permission.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

The Gay Vegans: Election is over - Time to get involved

By Dan Hanley

Several years ago Mike and I were renting a home for a year while we looked for our perfect place. We met a couple who was going to backpack the world for a year and it all worked out for us to live in their home. We loved it.

There was one problem: the neighbors.

They kept their dog chained outside. All the time.

We tried to be a voice for the dog, no luck. So I called our city councilwoman to see if there was a law being broken. The dog had shelter and access to food and water and that was all that the law required.

Eventually the neighbor took the dog off the chain. And the city councilwoman began a process of seeing if the city law was enough to care for dogs who are kept outside. 

Those of us who are voices for the voiceless, who fight for animal rights, human rights and equality, have an opportunity to be an even stronger voice. It's called politics.

This isn't the first time you have read about this on our blog. I firmly believe in being politically active. Not just voting, but communicating with and getting to know those who represent you on city council, in the state house, the state senate and even the US Congress. Better yet, I love getting to the point when an elected official knows me and what I stand for and what is important to me.

Don't know who represents you on these levels? I have you covered. Just go to this website and type in your zip code: http://votesmart.org/

Most of the laws that affect us in our daily lives are state laws. The opportunity to help animals, the homeless, battered women or to support equality can all start at your state capitol. Love organic vegetables? Let your state representative know? Abhor animal cruelty? Email your state senator. Want more bike lanes or less access to assault weapons? Call them both!

It really can make a difference.

In Colorado our 2013 session begins next week. Our sessions run from January to May. This week I emailed my state representative reminding him how Mike and feel about certain issues that might be voted on this session, and additional reminders about other issues important to us just in case they are brought up.

The time is now to get involved.

Thank you for reading!

This post originally appeared on Dan Hanley's website The Gay Vegans. Republished with permission.

Friday, January 4, 2013

The Gay Vegans: Tiny Actions That Change the World

By Dan Hanley

I was thinking of writing a post about resolutions for the new year. Then I decided that there are plenty of those out there. I have a few things I want to look at in 2013, and one of them is asking our readers to take simple, small actions that can change the world.

In the 1 1/2 years since I started the blog I have honestly been blown away by the action our readers take when I write about an issue or ask them to do something. It started with Meatless Mondays when over 1000 people were touched by our readers in deciding to not eat meat on a Monday. I have also been beyond thrilled when someone writes to me and tells me that they discovered who their state representative is and that they made a connection. The list could go on and on.

So for 2013 I'd like you all to join Mike and I in doing, or continuing to do, small acts that are huge in their affect.

If you are in a relationship, go for a walk with your beloved. Hold hands. Just the two of you. No companion animals. Our actions for change should start in our own lives.

Check out your local shelter and ask if you can volunteer. Clean cages, walk dogs, cuddle with cats. In some shelters there is a specific room for cats with FIV, which is basically HIV for cats. They are tougher to adopt. All three of my cats had FIV. Hanging out in the FIV cat room rocks.

Find out who your state representative is and connect with them. They are your voice in your state capital. Whatever your big issues are, they might be voting on one of them in 2013. Make sure your voice is heard. Go here to find them: http://votesmart.org/

Have a vegan potluck at your home. A Sunday brunch would be awesome. We have done this, with mostly non-vegans attending, and the food is ALWAYS delish and everyone ALWAYS has a wonderful time. My favorite brunch item for potlucks is Isa Chandra Moskowitz's Banana Rabanada French Toast in her "Vegan Brunch" cookbook. Page 102! Mmmm.

While on the topic of making vegan food, make a vegan baked good and bring it to work to share. This can be huge. My whole office has a different concept around vegan food because of what Mike (and I at times!) have made for the office. It's great to see people go from "I don't think I'll like this" to "Holy cow!" in a matter of seconds.

Make a donation to a non-profit that is a voice for the animals. There are SO many to choose from. Some local, some national. I always like to start out by talking about making local change. There is an animal shelter close to everyone. $25.00 can go a long way. It's important for me to financially support those doing the work in being the voice for the voiceless. It's not always cheap.

I think this is a great start. Will you join us?

Thanks for reading! If you would like to communicate with me other than posting a comment my personal email is vegandude@msn.com.

This post originally appeared on Dan Hanley's website The Gay Vegans. Republished with permission.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

The Gay Vegans: The Beginning of the End (Part III)

By Dan Hanley

This is part three of a three-part blog series around alcoholism. I decided to write about alcoholism and my personal journey because I continue to see my communities affected by it, as well as addiction.

When one is consumed with self hatred and fear and has found that the only thing to help them deal with that is to drink (or do drugs) the thought of not drinking is equal to or more than the fear that already consumes you.

I first dealt with the terror of a life without alcohol when I was 18 and in an alcohol treatment center. It was bearable there. Like many treatment centers it was group therapy type things during the day and then trucked off to AA meetings at night. By the end of my time there I was convinced that I could live without a drink. By the evening of the day I got out of rehab I was drunk.

That was the last time I had attempted to not drink. Aside from the terror of thinking about not being able to drink for the rest of my life I also kept thinking that alcoholics were old people, not teenagers. I was sure I had many years ahead of me of drinking before I would have to look at not drinking.

Back to the end. I was sitting in a bar in Norfolk. I didn't know how I was all of a sudden drunk. I decided it was time to go back to base and could not find my car.

The next day was December 30th. I was excited as I had decided to try to quit smoking for the new year. A great resolution I thought. On the outside I was trying to hold everything together, and failing. My boss had brought up the fact that based on my military record, I should not even be drinking. I weighed 138 pounds at 6'3". To give you a good picture, I now weigh 198 pounds.

That evening I was at the enlisted bar on base. Simply Red's video was on the screen and I was settling in for a night of drinking with friends.

I don't know what happened. No, this time it wasn't a blackout or a lost car. It was me standing in front of a Navy alcohol rehab guy on base, a few blocks from the enlisted club, asking if he could tell me where the closest AA meeting was.

This was the end. Due to the "anonymous" part of Alcoholics Anonymous, I am not going to go into what happened after that. I will say that if you know me, you know that I am in recovery and that is something that I am not shy about sharing. I share about it in my daily life, on Facebook, at work and at social events. I share it because people who know me today (and did not know me when I drank) cannot possibly conceive the person I used to be.

I have not had a drink since that night.

Alcoholism kills people. It destroys families and relationships. It shows up in different ways. Some people drink daily. Others binge drink. Others only drink beer.

For more information on alcoholism and on Alcoholics Anonymous click here: http://aa.org/?Media=PlayFlash

I feel that it is important that I offer information about alcoholism after writing about it. There is indeed help for those who think they might be alcoholic. One does not have to die, kill someone in a car accident or live an entire life consumed with fear and disgust.

There you have it. If you have read one or more of this blog post series, I thank you. It is not easy sharing an ugly part of ones' life. I also appreciate the huge amount of love and support I have gotten from our readers.

If you would like to connect with me but do not want to share a public comment, my email address is vegandude@msn.com.

This post originally appeared on Dan Hanley's website The Gay Vegans. Republished with permission.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

The Gay Vegans: The Beginning of the End (Part II)

By Dan Hanley

Just in case you did not read the first part of this series, these posts are about my end days in active alcoholism. I decided to finally write about this and walk through my fears of letting all of our readers know about this as I continually see alcoholism and addiction take it's toll on activist communities.

Christmas Eve I decided to drive to Midlothian, VA and go to a party held by old family friends. Midlothian is just west of Richmond, not too far of a drive from Norfolk.

The week prior had been full of activity as the largest naval base in the world filled up for the holidays. Many people were arriving on ships coming home for the holiday, including several friends of mine.

One was a guy I had met in treatment back in '84. We had stayed in touch even though he had stayed sober and I had not (I actually went and got drunk the night I got out of treatment). Matt was coming back from a short deployment and I decided to go meet his ship.

Seeing him for the first time since treatment was a shock for me. He had stayed sober, and looked the part. His huge grin and strong hug greeted me. His eyes were clear. He looked so, so healthy. I was blown away.

We were able to set a time to grab a bite to eat. As I nervously drank my pitcher of beer he caught me up on the past year since leaving rehab. I could not believe the change in him. What was clearly obvious was that he was happy. As he talked with me he constantly smiled. He was truly happy without alcohol.

Back to Christmas Eve. I spent a couple hours with family friends and enjoyed the wide variety of drinking options. As typical, I was soon drunk. There was a lot of drinking going on and I was right in the middle of it. I then decided it was time to go, and I climbed into my Chevy Citation to head back to Norfolk.

I woke up to a tapping on the window. The car window. I was cold. A nice looking guy was looking into my car. It took me a second to realize that he was a police officer. I rolled down my window. He immediately stepped back due to the stench coming out of my car. I had passed out, at some time had thrown up, had urinated on myself and for some reason he didn't like the smell.

As luck would have it I was parked in a bank parking lot. I had to move. I apologized. I didn't recognize where I was. Richmond? No, the handsome officer said. I was in Madison Heights, way WEST of Richmond, like more than an hour. I had the left the party to drive 1 1/2 hours EAST to get back to Norfolk. I have no idea how I ended up in Madison Heights and I had no memory of anything after the party.

The officer told me about a YMCA where I could wash up and mentioned a local meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. As if, I thought.

I went to a gas station, washed up, grabbed a bottle of Boones Farm wine (my favorite) and started the drive back to Norfolk.

I felt sick. I felt like I wanted to die. A few more hits of the wine and I would be OK. Once back in Norfolk I would be fine. ... To Be Continued

(Thank you for reading. I am truly grateful. This is not a part of my life that I have shared with most people but I wanted to in my desire to talk about alcoholism in our communities. Every alcoholics' story is different and each alcoholic reaches a point in which they cannot stop drinking no matter what.  More to come.)

This post originally appeared on Dan Hanley's website The Gay Vegans. Republished with permission.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

The Gay Vegans: The Beginning of the End

By Dan Hanley

No, this post is not about the Mayan calendar. I hope you will still read it!

It starts with Tina Turner.

It was November of 1985 and the day had finally come when I would get to see her live in concert. She was performing at the Hampton Coliseum in Hampton, VA, not far from where I was stationed. I decided that I was not going to miss her.

I was fortunate to have a car, although the reality at this point in my life was that having a car was not necessarily a good thing.

In October I had purchased a Chevy Citation. I loved it. I promised to never drink and drive. For someone who was in the end days of his active alcoholism, that was a promise that could simply not be kept.

Just the week before I had hit a car (parked) in the parking lot of a bar I was headed to. I was already drunk. As soon as I hit the car a police office opened my car door and grabbed my keys. It was dark and rainy I told him. It wasn't raining.

So the night I get to see Tina Turner began the same way as every other night did. By the time I got to my seat in the coliseum I was drunk. I could not remember how I got there.

I do remember Tina. She was amazing. Her voice, her running around stage and her saxophone player. He was gorgeous.

I remember her every November. And I remember how awful life had become. There would be many more drunk driving episodes before the end would come. And the desperation to stay drunk so I would not have to feel anything only got stronger. Consumed with self hatred and fear, alcohol was my saving grace.

Although alcoholism kills many, including many in the LGBT community and activist communities, the end for me would not be death.

I decided to write some blog posts about alcoholism and my path into recovery as I continue to see alcoholism destroy people in my communities. I will write more about this, including about how I began recovery from alcoholism on December 30, 1985.

Thank you for reading.

This post originally appeared on Dan Hanley's website The Gay Vegans. Republished with permission.