MileHighGayGuys Discuss DOMA and Marriage Equality: StevieB

By StevieB

How did I spend this amazing day? Well, it started as my phone blew up with the texts and phone calls. Friends wanting to share the amazing news of DOMA being ruled unconstitutional along with California’s Proposition 8 being tossed out on its head.

It made me feel like this--------------------------->

Reading the tweets, texts, and Facebook updates was the best part, my favorite was Moby, from The Moby Files blog, speaking of his boss letting him go early due to his excitement. It’s like Christmas, the 4th of July, and everyone’s birthday all rolled into one great day.

For me, today finally persuaded me to give in and acquiesce to a long held desire of the other half. It’s true. I gave in and finally hung his cow horns and caved-in converting one of the bathrooms into cowboy themed. Yee-Haw.


This post originally appeared on Steven Bennet's website Nice to See StevieB. Republished with permission.

MileHighGayGuys Discuss DOMA and Marriage Equality: Sharon MaGoodies

"Not being one to want to immediately rush to the altar, I actually got a little teary eyed when they announced that DOMA had been declared unconstitutional. 

I feel it's a step in the right direction and the perfect time to change careers and become a wedding planner."

RuPaul's Drag Race Cast & Crew for Marriage Equality

You had to know that RuPaul and the cast and crew of Drag Race couldn't let an historic occasion like the DOMA decision go by without having something to say about it. Everybody say LOVE!

MileHighGayGuys Discuss DOMA and Marriage Equality: David Smith

"One of the more exciting things in our progress and march for equality has happened this week with the Supreme Court ruling DOMA unconstitutional and striking down the appeal for Prop 8. Of course with the excitement of marriage being more equal; people want to get married! The problem many people are facing is that they don’t have someone they can get married to.

One of the key things I have learned in my quest in exercise and fitness is how internal beauty is reflected on the outside. You will often hear the same old story, “I don’t judge people based on looks,” or “Beauty is on the inside.” While it is true that beauty is on the inside, that doesn’t mean that you necessarily have it. I have seen way too many people in the community who constantly seek a companion, like they can’t live without one. A relationship ends, and two days later, another one begins. A week later they are in love and a week after that the relationship ends. However, when I look at what these people do together and apart, it equates to nothing more than cuddling and going out to bars. To me, that’s just not enough, it’s boring and it lacks substance.

Quite the opposite can occur when one might be so fixated on looks and aesthetics that they spend all their time at the gym and eat a practically anorexic diet to have the perfect body, yet when you talk to them they have absolutely nothing to say. Again, no substance and the conversation ends up nowhere.

We are all human and we all judge. Despite what people might say, EVERYBODY will judge people based on their looks--some of it is positive, some of it is negative--and there’s nothing wrong with that. As they say, first impressions are most important, how you appear and how you initially speak. It helps us decide who we might be most compatible with and attracted to. If you don’t take care of yourself in a healthy way you will have a hard time attracting someone. How can you attract someone? By taking control of your physical and mental health, doing things you enjoy, training hard for your goals and having fun! People who exercise and enjoy what they’re doing tend to have higher self-esteem, confidence, and are overall happier people. This is easily seen in the way they walk, talk and carry on throughout their day. Attitudes are contagious! Those who are happy and confident tend to be surrounded by happy and confident people whereas those who are sad, depressed and expect pity parties tend to be surrounded similar people.

Your body is a reflection of your mind and soul. When you take care of yourself it shows in your posture, your facial expressions, the way you interact with people, and in the attitude you have throughout your day. In addition to how it can make the body look, consistent exercise can also increase strength and stamina, raise energy levels, elevate your mood, increase confidence, give you a better attitude, and most important, help foster a  positive self-image. Those are all potential side effects of pursuing a healthy lifestyle and people tend to be surrounded by people like themselves, in this case, happy, healthy, good-looking people. Oftentimes those who look down and judge are merely exhibiting a reflection of themselves, not of the person they’re talking about. I personally don’t want to be around people who are negative like that. Negativity is irrelevant, in the end what does it matter? I mean, who cares? Someone who lives life where the sun doesn’t shine has no effect on my life, regardless of what their opinion of me is I will keep doing what I love.

In the end it’s all about personal responsibility. If you think “Oh, it’s because of him," chances are it’s really because of you yourself. Be willing to step back and look at yourself from a critical perspective and realize that everybody, including yourself, makes mistakes. You don't want to end up like Taylor Swift, writing bitter songs about your hundreds of exes. None of us are perfect. I don’t want to be perfect. Perfect is what the gym bunny with the super ripped abs is trying to be. In the end all the negativity is irrelevant. You are who you are and that’s all that matters, let your true self shine and do the things you want to do. Go out and have fun, work hard and let yourself enjoy all that the world has to offer. When you do that,  all the “extra” stuff will just happen naturally and you’ll find yourself in the company of great people."

MileHighGayGuys Discuss DOMA and Marriage Equality: John Hill

"Less than three days after a majority of Supreme Court justices found a portion of the Defense of Marriage Act indefensible, I find myself in Canada. Talk about perspective. Marriage equality is old hat up here, whether you are in a metropolis like Vancouver or a small town like Strathmore where I will be for the next three days.

Humans are an adaptive bunch: they may bitch and moan and complain about their current circumstances, but they make it through. That's how we got from swinging between trees to sitting in traffic. No matter how some people complain about marriage equality, they will come around. We as the LGBT community need to live our lives publicly and proudly so those who want us unequal cannot continue to point to the shadows and worry about what we might do with equality. Only then will they realize that we are not the threat they think we are. 

My partner of four years and I know that we will eventually be married, but it remains to be seen where that will occur. As the number of states that allow same-sex marriage increase, Colorado risks becoming a dinosaur to the world. Now is the time for us to push for a new Amendment to our Constitution that is inclusive instead of exclusive when it comes to marriage. Momentum is on our side, and we should now utilize that energy to create a climate where progressive-minded people will look to Colorado as a desirable place to be instead of one to be avoided. That is our challenge, but it is one that is achievable. We owe future generations this effort so they will never be ostracized for who they love and want to spend their lives with."

MileHighGayGuys Discuss DOMA and Marriage Equality: Philip Doyle

"As a lad I was told how marriage worked. It was a romantic, Disneyesque, and daunting concept …

Somewhere, out there, in this big beautiful world, there is one person, just one, who is my perfect match. 

Well, holy smack!” I thought, “My mate is probably somewhere in Mexico or Indonesia or who knows where!?” Plus at that early age I knew I was gay, and since marriage was not legal for gays in the USA my husband most likely was hiding in some closet hundreds of miles away. Jose, Gustavo, or whatever his name is, will never come “salir del armario” and he will never travel to the States to wine and dine my Irish ass. Dayum!

Now things have changed. With the Supreme Court’s ruling in favor for equal rights, my quest for “the one” may be a little bit easier. And since I’m just a mouse-click away, I don’t have to trek the seven continents to hunt him down. Maybe he’s on Facebook, or maybe he reads MileHighGayGuy? Hmm…

What I do know is change is coming. It’s blowing in the wind and it is pissing off the fundamentalist right. Just like a bratty child being sent to time out, the Palins, Bachmens, Perrys, and guys named Jeb, will NOT go quietly. I expect their vitriolic, (and kind of embarrassing) rants will get even worse. 

At this moment, the wolves, or in this case the Fox’s, are prepping for a fight. We will hear their bigoted reinterpretations of the bible. We will avoid Rush Limbaugh’s bilious voice, decrying the fall of society, his fear-inducing pursed lips spewing icky acidic saliva, peppering the foam ball of his microphone with infectious hate.

But here is what the gay community has going for it: Ourselves.

We have Colorado State Senator Pat Steadman, who champions equality for the LGBT community, women’s rights, sex education, and HIV prevention.

Activists have given us a voice when we were dying. Peter Staley, Larry Kramer, and countless others have shown us how to ACT UP.  

Harvey Milk was killed for believing in us, and his nephew Stuart Milk continues to give us a voice.

In our ranks we have Dan Choi, a West Point graduate, American infantry officer, and gay rights activist, who put a face on the fight against Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. 

Let’s not forget 84-year old Edie Windsor, the victorious plantiff in the Supreme Court case against the Defense of Marriage Act.

There are communities of bears, drag queens, daddies, twinks and twunks, cubs and pups. In every neighborhood there are pitchers, catchers, and power bottoms (who know how to take it). We have an army of butch lesbians and girly girls. There are members of the transgender community who have demonstrated heroic fortitude that far exceeds their non-trans counterparts. We even have some invisible people, numerous unseen men and women who are on the down-low, or choose to remain in the closet.

And finally, we have our secret weapon- Thousands upon thousands of little monsters who are growing not so little, and are eager to show their teeth.

So to my LGBT brothers and sisters, I love all of ya'll but lets not forget our history. Buckle up, dig in, and brace yourself. Our fight for equal rights has just begun."

MileHighGayGuys Discuss DOMA and Marriage Equality: Dan Hanley

"A divided US Supreme Court made public two decisions yesterday that will change our lives. Me and Mike's lives. And the lives of tens of thousands of other gay couples who are either already married or wish to be married.

Here in Colorado, there is a state constitutional amendment that defines government endorsed marriage as between a man and a woman. Recently civil unions became legal which offers Mike and I some state benefits.

We were married back in 2005. We did what many folks do: met, dated, fell in love, asked our pastor to marry us, he said yes, and then we joined 160 friends and family and got married.

We called our marriage ceremony "a loving act of civil disobedience" mainly because that amazing ceremony was not legal in any way.

We have held off getting a civil union. With the news from yesterday we are talking about getting legally married in California, probably not in July when we go for our summer vacation but maybe later in the year. We are still trying to figure out if getting married there will mean that we can still be federally recognized in Colorado.

So we would be legally married in the eyes of the feds and would still have to get a civil union for any Colorado recognition.

Meanwhile our lives continue. We’ll have dinner tonight, pool time tomorrow, helping a friend do some moving on Sunday. The normality of our non-legal marriage fits write alongside those who are legally married.

Our lives and our marriage go on. We are incredibly and lovingly grateful for all of our friends and family who have stood beside us and our cause. Sometimes we are blown away by the support.

In the days to come, there will be a lot of hate speech against the Supreme Court decision and against gay people in general. The vile hatred of religious extremists has already begun in full force. Please join us in continuing to speak out for marriage equality and against hate."

MileHighGayGuys Discuss DOMA and Marriage Equality: Todd Craig

"On the night after the big Supreme Court rulings against DOMA and refusing to hear Prop 8, while gays across our country celebrated, my husband stewed angrily.

'For most of us, nothing changed,' he said, livid at the celebrations going on around him on Facebook and otherwise.

There was no consoling him out of his mood.

 

And after some reflection on my part, it occurred to me he’s right.

While gays and lesbians in same sex marriages celebrated wildly, the rest of us were left to watch and wait and wish. Our turn will come someday.

Well, someday sucks.

No one, repeat no one, likes to watch someone else enjoy something you want but can’t have.

Here in Colorado, it has never been more apparent that civil unions aren’t civil; with no federal recognition, they’re separate and unequal and decidedly lesser.  The time for marriage equality is now.

What the Supreme Court ruled muddied the waters for those of us who live in states like ours. On the surface nothing changed, and beneath the surface lay a murky mess of unanswered questions and a bounty of legal loopholes and codified contradictions between the state and federal levels of government.

The Denver Post reported that Colorado’s constitutional amendment defining marriage as between one man and one woman could be challenged with a ballot initiative, provided we gather a little over 85,000 signatures statewide.

Let’s get cracking.

This is the time when our political lobby has to step up, not back off. (One Colorado, I’m looking in your direction.) We need to have a ballot measure drafted. We need to start collecting signatures now.  The polling shows us that we have the support. Our governor backs us. Our legislature backs us. We have the momentum.

We need to strike while the iron is hot.

And while that’s going on, we need someone to file a lawsuit against the current amendment. The Supremes did us a solid by laying the groundwork for how to attack codified discrimination. It doesn’t stand the test of fairness, so it deserves a vigorous challenge. Legal precedent has now been established.

As individuals, we need to follow Minnesota’s lead. We need to talk with our friends, our families, and our neighbors about what marriage equality means. We need to talk about fairness and compassion.  We need to talk with everyone and campaign for everyone’s support. If it can work in the Land of Ten Thousand Lakes, it can work in Colorful Colorado, too.

Martin Luther King Jr. once said that injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. 

When we were kids, we brought cupcakes to school on our birthday. We made sure to note how many kids were in our class so that everyone could have one. Why? Because it was fair, and when you celebrate, you want to celebrate with everyone.

The Supreme Court rulings were nice, I suppose. And we’re a little bit closer to free, I suppose.  But it’s no fun watching other kids eating cupcakes when you don’t get one. 

So rather than wait for someone to hand us a cupcake, let’s grab some ingredients and get started.  We’ve got some work to do, Colorado.

The time is now. The support is there. The momentum is ours. The goal is worthy.  

Then we can truly celebrate."

MileHighGayGuys Discuss DOMA and Marriage Equality: Londell Jackson

"After all of the hubbub and fanfare leading up to the SCOTUS judgement about DOMA as well as their decision regarding Proposition 8, I must admit that this all somewhat feels anticlimactic.  Don't get me wrong, I am happy to hear our highest court identify the ways in which a 1990's legislative action has hurt countless U.S. citizens for bigoted and unnecessary reasons, and the same goes for Prop 8.

But, what bothers me most is that their actions, while significant to the LGBT movement for equality in the United States, were so narrow in focus and will now lead to dozens of additional lawsuits and struggles to overturn the many DOMAs or DOMA-like bills and amendments which exist in various states across the nation.  I know the case which brought this decision to the Supreme Court was particular focused on Section 3 of the national DOMA, but couldn't they have been a little more broad in their actions?

I realize my thoughts can be interpreted as ingratitude, and I can assure you that is not the case.  I'm just a little bewildered about why more didn't happen.  But I suppose this insatiable attitude is a product of my need for immediate gratification: I WANT MARRIAGE FOR ALL AND NOW!"

MileHighGayGuys Discuss DOMA and Marriage Equality: Simon O'Mahony

"Supreme Court strikes down DOMA because “... it humiliates tens of thousands of children now being raised by same-sex couples. The law in question makes it even more difficult for children to understand the integrity and closeness of their own family and its concord with other families in their community and their lives.”

June 26 was a day that my heart was filled with joy and pride. That joy and pride was not just for me, but for everyone in this country, my gay brothers and sisters, my straight allies, for every child in this country, and for every child born yesterday who will never live in a world with DOMA. I bow my head to those heroes who paved the way for us and had the courage to stand up for what they knew was right. I am even more inspired to stand up for what is right and encourage everyone to do the same.

I remembered Harvey Milk yesterday. “The only thing they have to look forward to is hope. And you have to give them hope. Hope for a better world, hope for a better tomorrow, hope for a better place to come to if the pressures at home are too great. Hope that all will be all right. Without hope, not only gays, but the blacks, the seniors, the handicapped, the us'es, the us'es will give up”

I remembered Matthew Shepard yesterday. "There had been a news story about same-sex marriage and he was debating it with me. He asked me if I thought gay couples would ever be allowed to get married and he wasn't at all optimistic it would happen. He was in a mindset of, 'People are never going to accept us or understand us.'" I wish he'd been here to see it," she added. "This case warms my heart, to think that his dream is still coming true." Judy Shepard

I think that President Obama summed it up perfectly  "I don’t believe in discrimination of any sort. So my basic view is that regardless of race, regardless of religion, regardless of gender, regardless of sexual orientation, when it comes to how the law treats you, how the state treats you -- the benefits, the rights and the responsibilities under the law -- people should be treated equally."

As so many people have said, it is not a gay issue, it’s a Human Rights issue. We still have a lot of work to do, but for now, lets take a moment to celebrate."

#time4marriage #erasehate

MileHighGayGuys Discuss DOMA and Marriage Equality: Matt Kailey

"As we celebrate the SCOTUS ruling on DOMA – and celebration is definitely in order – I think that it's important to remember that trans people can still be fired in the majority of states just for being trans, that gay and lesbian people can be fired in the majority of states just for being gay or lesbian, that same-sex couples cannot be legally married in all but a handful of states, and that SCOTUS also took a giant leap back in time with its ruling on the Voting Rights Act. We are so far from across-the-board equality in this country that you can't even see it from here."