Ask Eric Anything: Why Are My Gay Friends So Intolerant Of My Bisexuality?

By Eric Kehela

With a passion for writing and performing, Eric uses his honed skills and intuition to guide, communicate and connect with the people around him. 

The best advice he can give is, “Grow from light and always find truth within you. Reach for the galaxies, shoot beyond the stars and always aim with your heart.”

Dear Eric,

I am a gay man who is also occasionally attracted to women.

I have no problem whatsoever with my sexuality but find myself constantly disappointed at the constant stream of biphobia I experience from my gay friends and acquaintances.

I always thought the gay community would be more understanding and accepting but find that my straight friends are much more accepting of this side of myself.

My questions for you are:

1.) How can I explain to my gay friends that their biphobic jokes and comments are hurtful and offensive

2.) Why do you think there is so much biphobia in the gay community? 

Sincerely, Ambiphilic

Dearest Ambiphilic, 

Now is the time for you to look deep within, whilst beginning to honor your values and that which matters most to you. 

Though the mundane reality may appear continuous and linear, there is much happening on a cosmic-spiritual-universal level, causing attitudes, behaviors and situations to manifest, furthermore leading people to separate and walk a different path. Be prepared to release the old and welcome the new. Be not resistant of change, or change will consume you. 

Moreover, regardless of your sexual identity, you deserve to be surrounded by true friends, as you are to be loved for who you are. Your happiness is what truly matters most in this experience, named life. If necessary, kindly remind your friends (in a tone which best demands positive attention), that negative verbiage is déclassé, not empowering and you will not engage in that form and style of communicative banter, laden with disparaging remarks towards individuals in the LGBTQ community, inclusive of yourself. 

Communicate with your friends and express your feelings; inasmuch, friends should be supportive and uplifting, not the contrary. Surround yourself with others whom genuinely value you. Why surround yourself with individuals who make you feel uncomfortable? It is best to be your own company, than to be with those who hurt your feelings. I remember an old phrase in Spanish, which roughly translates to, “Tell me who you are with, and I shall tell you who you are.” Though these words may appear judgmental, it is important for you to be aware of the energy of those around you, as their energy may not be suited for you after all. 

Biphobia exists where ignorance and fear reside. These phobias perpetuate the lack of knowledge. Be the change you wish to see in the community. Do a web search and find local organizations like meetup.com , sageusa.org, or go to The Center and create (or join) a group in hopes of educating and spreading awareness. You may just meet new and empowering friends. Move forward leaving the past and individuals who pressure you to be someone other than who you are best –YOU! 

In futurespect, remember like attracts like; therefore, how do you desire your life-path to manifest? Be certain to stand in your truth and remain true to yourself. Whether it be a man or woman, whom you choose to marry, how would you like your fairy tale to play out? I advise you to let go of that and those which no longer serve you and keep forward on your path towards fulfillment and happiness. It starts with you! 

Eric Kehela has worked as a life-coach and therapist and is currently pursuing a Master's degree in Professional Counseling. His goal is to make a difference and help others along the way. Click here to follow him on Twitter.

The Bi Party swings our way this Saturday!

By Drew Wilson

The Bi Party kicks off this Saturday, October 13 at The 9^thDoor in LoDo.

Presented by BiTheWay.net and sponsored by an array of supporters including MileHighGayGuy.com, the event will cater to an historically underserved and underrepresented population - bisexuals.

I talked to event coordinator and DJ, Sante Suffaletta to find out more about the party and why readers of MileHighGayGuy might be interested in checking it out.

Drew Wilson: With a name like The Bi Party the answer to this question may seem obvious but, who exactly would you say this party is for?

Sante Suffaletta: It’s for anybody who is in the massive grey area between gay and straight. Really it’s for everybody but our focus is on providing an outlet for people who are bisexual, bi-curious, open-minded, or support the people who belong in those categories.

And is it a sex thing, or …

The focus on this event is not on sex. Although it is an opportunity to flirt and mingle and we will have an after party at The Jet Hotel for those who are feeling adventurous and maybe ready to take things to the next level.

So is this going to be a one-time deal?

We’re testing the waters to begin but, based on the community and how many bi people I know, I don’t see any reason why this wouldn’t grow into something that we could do monthly or weekly.

Why should readers of MileHighGayGuy be interested in The Bi Party?

Because it’s not just for people who identify as bi. My experience has been that a lot of men in the GLBT community tend to identify as homoflexible. They prefer the same sex when it comes to an emotional relationship but are open minded when it comes to sexual attraction and the desire to meet and party and have fun with people of the opposite sex. 

And again, the focus of the party is not sex and my experience is that people in the gay community like to party and have fun with open-minded people. It’s a great environment. And of course there will be great drink specials, tapas and music and everybody can enjoy that!

What would you say is the state of the bisexual community in Denver and Colorado right now?

That’s a great question. I'd say it’s developing. It’s a little bit underground but coming above the surface more than ever before at this point. Especially women. It’s almost mainstream for women to be bi. But men historically didn’t want to be out as bi or didn’t even want to explore their same-sex attractions and that’s just not true anymore. It’s becoming a lot more accepted for men to be bisexual and to explore outlets for that. I think Denver is a city like San Francisco where there are a lot of open minded people here. People are into alternative culture and GLBT culture. Our PrideFest is one of the largest in the nation and that says something about our community and our culture. There is a desire to support and accept different sexualities and I think we’re going to see a bisexual revolution here over the next five years.

And now for something completely different - The Bi Party!

Calling all bisexuals! 


The Bi Party takes place this Saturday, October 14 at The 9th Door and it is going to be the year's hottest event for bi, curious, and open-minded party people. 


Enoy sexy mingling, DJ Sante and DJ Bryan Matthew, gogo dancers from GoGo Galaxy, tapas and cocktails and an official Afterparty at The Jet Hotel starting at midnight.

Sponsored by The9thDoor, BiTheWay, GalaxyGLBT, Kasidie, and MileHighGayGuy!

Out & Equal Workplace Advocates and the Bisexual Resource Center announce groundbreaking survey to explore bisexuality and the workplace

Out & Equal Workplace Advocates, the premier nonprofit organization devoted to LGBT workplace equality, and the Bisexual Resource Center, an internationally respected voice for the bisexual community, are excited to announce the launch of a groundbreaking survey exploring the issues facing the bisexual community in the workplace.

Designed by corporate learning and development expert Heidi Bruins Green, the survey seeks to develop a better understanding of the workplace experiences of people who either identify as bisexual or one of the many alternate labels describing sexual and emotional attraction to more than one gender.

“We have found the lack of data on the bisexual community frustrating when trying to design programming responsive to the workplace issues faced by people who identify as bisexual,” said Out & Equal Deputy Director Kevin Jones. “Out & Equal is grateful for the chance to be a part of this important study.”

“While the term ‘bisexual’ is included in the acronyms most often used to describe the broad non heterosexual community (LGBT), people who identify as bisexual are often overlooked or excluded,“ said Ellyn Ruthstrom, President of the Bisexual Resource Center.

Preliminary data from the Institutional Review Board approved survey is anticipated in time to be presented at the 28th Annual BiCon and 10th Annual International Conference on Bisexuality from Aug. 27-30 in London. The feedback gathered from the international bisexual community at BiCon will be shared through a workshop offered at the 2010 Out & Equal Workplace Summit, set for Oct. 5-8 in Los Angeles.

Learn about updates, preliminary results and more information about the survey at www.OutandEqual.org/bisexualsurvey.

Take the 45-minute long survey – for bi-identified people only – now: www.SurveyMonkey.com/s/BiWorkplaceSurvey.

Bisexuality explored in prime time?

So bisexuality is being "explored" on prime time? More shows are going "both ways"? It seems like the only "bisexual exploration" is taking place between female characters. That's fine and all but it sounds to me like the work of straight male scriptwriters who wouldn't touch male bisexuality with their 6-inch poles.

At least it gave me an excuse to post a pic from my favorite bisexual couple of all time, Xena and Gabrielle.

I'm still waiting on that movie.