I've been seeing a guy off and on for a couple of years now and I am ready for him to make a commitment and I think he is too but I have a problem where he will either hang out with me or he will hang out with his friends but never both together. I thought maybe his friends didn't like me but they have told me that is not the case and that they do like me. I have tried to bring up the issue to my guy but he just kind of shrugs it off and we're back where we started. Should I just let it go or is there something weird going on? (I have a feeling something weird's going on). Thanks!
Signed, Fearing Weird
Dear Fearing Weird,
Fret not, first of all, being on-and-off for two years isn’t a steady-stable relationship. Define what you have and understand where his mind is. Take into account any life-altering decisions you have made which may be a factor into your relationship. If you have a commitment and you feel it in your heart that this relationship is solid enough for you to make improvements, then get ready and take the reins.
If indeed you and his friends get along, go ahead and make plans with them. Live your life as it suits you best and don’t live in fear of his disapproval. In time when his friends ask him out, he’ll be surprised and happy to see you there! Don’t make it awkward and don’t play mind games.
Also, enjoy the world of yours he initially fell in love with. Continue your regular routines and activities. Be the best you that you can be and he will see you differently, in a more positive light, and get a less needy, I-need-to-be-with-you vibe.
Your instincts and your heart will never let you down if you listen. Go with what feels right, maybe he needs space or is going through something.
The key to any successful relationship is communication. Communicate what you want and you will have it. Also, if you want to jumpstart things a bit, start this new year with a new perspective and introduce the concept of courting to pave the way for a more solid foundation. Do something special and romantic, get him flowers and a card and have a night out on the town for two. Tell him how much you appreciate him and the relationship. Be sure to tell - not ask - him that you want to solidify your relationship and open up a new world of being together and socially active together. Don’t imply that you need to be together 24/7 but let him know that you are serious and deserve to be a part of his life. Remember there is someone for everyone and there is someone for you. You deserve to be loved!
