Dear Eric,
I have a very active social life and get asked to do a lot
of things with friends and acquaintances. However, I've recently noticed that
sometimes I'm uncertain whether an invitation is meant to be platonic, a date,
or even just a hook up and it can lead to awkwardness. Without being obnoxious
about it, what's the best way to figure out if someone is asking me out on a
date or just to hang out?
Awkward Gay Penguin
Dear Awkward Gay Penguin,
First you need to evaluate what YOU want. You must first set
the tone on what you want.
Secondly, as cliché as it sounds, listen to your heart, not
your frontal lobe. Test the waters and understand the intentions behind said
invitations. If it’s platonic, you will know by the nonverbal communication and
the intention behind the reason for an outing, say a business meeting or an
introduction to a new social circle. Just because you are invited to go many
places, it doesn’t mean you must attend every invitation.
It is human nature to send mixed signals, especially in a
hormone driven society, yet you must want what’s best for you. If you are
invited out, feel out the energy of the person. Nothing makes a man’s character
stronger than being firm in his decisions. If you are unsure, step-up to the
plate and effectively communicate what you foresee, if need be.
Be selective and be sure, for you will attract all
possibilities if you aren’t sure of what you really want. If you feel chemistry
and you get the vibe that this person wants to get to know you better and
although money doesn’t play a role, if he does however invite you out and pays,
odds are he likes you. If you are seeking a hook-up, you may as well speak your
mind. Respect yourself and your body and always plays safe.
Eric Kehela has worked as a
life-coach and therapist and is currently pursuing a Master's degree in
Professional Counseling. His goal is to make a difference and help
others along the way.
