By David Smith It is certainly no secret that a lot of gay men workout at the gym for one of two reasons. Number one is to tone up and look hot--have that perfect body for the bars, online or wherever. Number two is to check out all the other hot men at the gym.
With this society’s ever-increasing waistlines, the constant emphasis on superficial appearances only serves to put unrealistic expectations on appearances and actions, making it difficult for anybody who doesn’t necessarily fit that image to want to participate. It’s discouraging, especially when you feel like you're working hard to be someone you’re not.
These superficial reasons are not just limited to the gay community, but at times it seems more emphasized. Your goals, passions and motivations are very much a reflection of who you are as a person and nobody is perfect. That is all part of the human experience, people are judgmental by nature and at any moment someone is probably judging you. Putting so much stress on what other people think is one of the most common barriers that’ll stop you from stepping outside your comfort zone and taking the first step.
Who cares? Really, who cares? By being so focused on your appearances for the sake of others, it’s easy to forget about yourself. Quality of life, living in the moment and happiness are much better qualities than superficial appearances and trying to be someone you're not.
Your exercise program and eating habits are a reflection of your commitment to your physical and mental health, they need to represent what you truly want to accomplish. The defined muscles, weight loss, and nice body are nothing more then side effects. As you strive toward your goals you will find increased levels of energy, self-confidence, happiness and an unmistakable glow that will radiate out to the world around you. There is as much beauty on the inside as there is on the outside but if you don’t let strive to be happy, confident and free with yourself that beauty will never be seen.
The judgment of others can either define you or compliment you, in the definition you let others essentially control your life, their opinions of you often dictate your actions and whether or not you move forward in life. In compliment you can take the judgment of others, whether it’s good or bad and use it to motivate you, grow, learn and become a stronger person. As they say, let your haters be your motivators!
There will always be beef heads and gym bunnies, everybody is there for the same reason and your presence does not affect their goals and they shouldn’t affect yours. All those people you are afraid will be judging you, well they actually just don’t care. True strength is measured in your own will; walk into the gym with the confidence that you will walk out having pushed yourself to the limit, leaving the gym better as a person than when you walked in.
David Smith is the owner of Stonewall Fitness, holds a degree in exercise science from Metropolitan State University of Denver and holds several fitness certifications including ACSM Personal Trainer and Group Fitness.
