Cracked's 30-Second Guide to how the DOMA ruling affects gay and straight people

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Cracked's David Wong (if you haven't read his brilliant book John Dies At The End yet be sure to nab yourself a copy today!) breaks down how the DOMA decision will be affecting us. Here's the long and short of it:

If You Are a Homosexual and Are Already Married:
The federal government now recognizes your marriage as a thing, and you are eligible for tax, health, and pension benefits under federal law like any other married couple, pending further political shenanigans. You can file taxes jointly, all that shit.

If You Are a Homosexual and Want to Get Married:
This does nothing to affect you UNLESS you live in California. States are still free to decide whether or not same-sex marriage is legal; if you live in Mississippi, this does not help you. But, the voter initiative to ban gay marriage in California is now dead, pending further legal challenges or other fuckery.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/a-30-second-guide-to-how-gay-marriage-ruling-affects-you/?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=062713#ixzz2XY7aXNJw

And if you're straight? Long story short: "This decision does not affect you in any way."

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/a-30-second-guide-to-how-gay-marriage-ruling-affects-you/?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=062713#ixzz2XY7jconi