Friday, June 28, 2013

MileHighGayGuys Discuss DOMA and Marriage Equality: David Smith

"One of the more exciting things in our progress and march for equality has happened this week with the Supreme Court ruling DOMA unconstitutional and striking down the appeal for Prop 8. Of course with the excitement of marriage being more equal; people want to get married! The problem many people are facing is that they don’t have someone they can get married to.

One of the key things I have learned in my quest in exercise and fitness is how internal beauty is reflected on the outside. You will often hear the same old story, “I don’t judge people based on looks,” or “Beauty is on the inside.” While it is true that beauty is on the inside, that doesn’t mean that you necessarily have it. I have seen way too many people in the community who constantly seek a companion, like they can’t live without one. A relationship ends, and two days later, another one begins. A week later they are in love and a week after that the relationship ends. However, when I look at what these people do together and apart, it equates to nothing more than cuddling and going out to bars. To me, that’s just not enough, it’s boring and it lacks substance.

Quite the opposite can occur when one might be so fixated on looks and aesthetics that they spend all their time at the gym and eat a practically anorexic diet to have the perfect body, yet when you talk to them they have absolutely nothing to say. Again, no substance and the conversation ends up nowhere.

We are all human and we all judge. Despite what people might say, EVERYBODY will judge people based on their looks--some of it is positive, some of it is negative--and there’s nothing wrong with that. As they say, first impressions are most important, how you appear and how you initially speak. It helps us decide who we might be most compatible with and attracted to. If you don’t take care of yourself in a healthy way you will have a hard time attracting someone. How can you attract someone? By taking control of your physical and mental health, doing things you enjoy, training hard for your goals and having fun! People who exercise and enjoy what they’re doing tend to have higher self-esteem, confidence, and are overall happier people. This is easily seen in the way they walk, talk and carry on throughout their day. Attitudes are contagious! Those who are happy and confident tend to be surrounded by happy and confident people whereas those who are sad, depressed and expect pity parties tend to be surrounded similar people.

Your body is a reflection of your mind and soul. When you take care of yourself it shows in your posture, your facial expressions, the way you interact with people, and in the attitude you have throughout your day. In addition to how it can make the body look, consistent exercise can also increase strength and stamina, raise energy levels, elevate your mood, increase confidence, give you a better attitude, and most important, help foster a  positive self-image. Those are all potential side effects of pursuing a healthy lifestyle and people tend to be surrounded by people like themselves, in this case, happy, healthy, good-looking people. Oftentimes those who look down and judge are merely exhibiting a reflection of themselves, not of the person they’re talking about. I personally don’t want to be around people who are negative like that. Negativity is irrelevant, in the end what does it matter? I mean, who cares? Someone who lives life where the sun doesn’t shine has no effect on my life, regardless of what their opinion of me is I will keep doing what I love.

In the end it’s all about personal responsibility. If you think “Oh, it’s because of him," chances are it’s really because of you yourself. Be willing to step back and look at yourself from a critical perspective and realize that everybody, including yourself, makes mistakes. You don't want to end up like Taylor Swift, writing bitter songs about your hundreds of exes. None of us are perfect. I don’t want to be perfect. Perfect is what the gym bunny with the super ripped abs is trying to be. In the end all the negativity is irrelevant. You are who you are and that’s all that matters, let your true self shine and do the things you want to do. Go out and have fun, work hard and let yourself enjoy all that the world has to offer. When you do that,  all the “extra” stuff will just happen naturally and you’ll find yourself in the company of great people."