Wednesday, July 24, 2013

The Gay Vegans: Don't Be a Dick

By Dan Hanley

NOTE: My apologies if this word offends you. Not my intent. It's the word I use to refer to poor behavior on my part.

I have never shied away from writing truly personal blog posts and this one goes along that line.

Many days I say to myself that no matter what goes on today, don't be a dick.

I always try my best to be as loving and compassionate as possible. It might look easy. It's not.

Whether I am driving somewhere, sitting in a meeting, watching someone treat someone else disrespectfully... the list could go on and on.

This has become my main goal every day (well one of two actually): to not be a dick. I guess I could use the word "jerk" instead, but that really isn't as powerful of a word. I suppose super-jerk would be more fitting. In case you're curious, my second main goal is to be as much of service as possible to the world I live in.

Recently I was in a meeting talking about a future plan of action. I was happy, feeling centered. All was well in my world. Another person at the meeting started talking about something (I don't even remember what) and just doesn't stop. I become inpatient, and before you know it everyone around me can tell. My sweet, loving self has started going down the path of becoming a dick. Fortunately I didn't say anything.

To be clear, being a dick and being a voice for the voiceless are two very separate things. I would not hesitate to get in someones face who was being abusive to an animal, using anti-gay words or being violent to someone. What I am talking about is totally different.

Some people jokingly call it their dark side. For me, when I start being a dick, it usually means that something is going on inside of me. Someone says something I disagree with and I get all pissed off.

I am getting better. I have tools and ideas to consider when I start feeling negative or angry. The biggest thing I can do is to remind myself that I do not want to treat others in a way that I do not like to be treated. And that I want to treat everyone I encounter with love, compassion and kindness.

I also remember simple things my mother taught me growing up: take a deep breathe, count to 10, stick and stones.

I would LOVE to hear your experiences around this. Can anyone relate?

Thank you for reading!

This post originally appeared on Dan Hanley's website The Gay Vegans. Republished with permission.