I found this blog post (originally published December 2, 2010) and thought it might be fun to add it to my FAQ and Info pages. Yes, it’s snarky, but it’s all in good fun. I love non-trans people. Some of my best friends aren’t trans. They’re the nicest people I know – and they all have a great sense of humor (I hope).
So, non-trans readers – let’s test your TQ:
1. Trans people are “done” with transition when:
a. we’ve had “the operation.”
b. the little red thermometer pops out of our butt.
c. we get fired from our job.
d. we are in the place we want to be, physically and emotionally.
The correct answer is “d.” (Answer “b” is just an urban myth created by Butterball.)
2. Trans people use public restrooms because:
a. we want to spy on you.
b. all the cool people hang out there.
c. public restrooms are so nice and clean, and the toilet paper is squeezably soft.
d. we have to pee.
The correct answer is “d.” (If you answered “a,” stop flattering yourself.)
3. Many trans people are very vocal political activists because:
a. we love the weather in D.C.
b. we don’t get enough attention just by being trans.
c. we hope to meet Sarah Palin someday.
d. we want the same rights and protections that everyone else has.
The correct answer is “d.” (D.C. weather plays havoc with our hair.)
4. Trans people “choose” to be trans because:
a. let’s face it – everyday life is kinda boring.
b. who doesn’t want to experience scorn, ridicule, and physical danger on a regular basis?
c. we never really wanted to have a job, anyway.
d. there is no “because” – trans people don’t “choose” to be trans.
The correct answer is “d.” (Let’s face it – everyday trans life is kinda boring, too … except when we’re being scorned, ridiculed, and put in physical danger.)
5. Which of the following people is trans?
a. RuPaul.
b. Felicity Huffman.
c. Sarah Palin.
d. None of above.
The correct answer is “d.” (RuPaul is a drag queen with a male gender identity. Felicity Huffman is a non-trans actor, but she did play a trans woman in Transamerica – and no, I don’t know her. Sarah Palin is … well … I’m not sure.)
Scoring:
0-2: Oh – so you’re Sarah Palin!
3-4: You’re getting there. Keep reading this blog and try again later.
5: You’re an honorary trans person! So … when are you having “the operation”? Thanks to all the non-trans people who read this blog and support trans rights and equality!
This post originally appeared on Matt Kailey's award-winning website Tranifesto.com. Republished with permission.
