Harma Hartouni never really knew what “gay” was. It didn’t outwardly exist in Iranian culture, where he grew up, and he had never to his knowledge encountered or seen a gay person. He experienced the trauma of being called a “faggot” and a “girl” by his father, was bullied and beat up by his peers in school, and sexually assaulted by multiple men. Through all of these experiences, he felt he had no choice but to keep moving forward.
It led him to America where, today, Hartouni—based in Los Angeles—is a successful real estate entrepreneur with a husband and three children.
Hartouni claims to have learned the secret to life, success, and happiness, and details his journey in his forthcoming memoir, Getting Back Up: A Story of Resilience, Self-Acceptance & Success (March 2021).
“Life is never about what happens to you; it is about what you do with it,” says Hartouni. “I grew up in a place where I was not meant to exist—a place where my identity as a gay male was contrary to Middle Eastern culture, standards, and faith. I grew up in a home filled with dysfunction and strife. I carried the weight of all of that on my shoulders; a weight that made me feel unworthy, afraid, and alone. But, if you carry a weight constantly, eventually you become stronger. The weight I carried and the strength I built was all so I could fight. I fought to walk again after a horrific accident, I fought to come to the U.S. even though I was an outcast here as well, I fought for success, and I fought for the privilege to live my life in truth. I fought for love and for the family my husband and I created through surrogates. When I was lying on the road, in shock with my legs mangled, I didn’t know it, but I was just beginning a fight for my life—a life of happiness, hard-earned and well-deserved happiness.”
