Tranifesto: Coming Out About My Trans Partner at Christmas

By Matt Kailey

A reader writes: “I’m a non-transgender pansexual woman who has been dating my friend, a male-to-female transgender person, for a few months.

“I’ve known my partner for five years and knew that she was trans for about the same amount of time but never attempted to act on my romantic feelings until recently, due to personal stuff and both of us being with other people. She is still thinking about transitioning and has yet to start hormones but definitely wants to, it’s just a matter of cost. We’re very happy together.

“I just have one problem. I come from a very strict, repressive Christian family. I’ll be heading back home for Christmas this year and want to tell my parents and siblings that I am dating my partner but am terrified. My father is the most problematic, being very opinionated and very closed to anything that doesn’t fit into his view of a proper world. He is rabidly anti-gay, opposes marriage equality and abortion rights and has barely been able to understand that I am not straight.

“How should I explain to my family that I am dating a transsexual? How do I get them to accept my partner? They’ve met him back when we were ‘just friends’ and didn’t like him that much. I am terrified that not only will there be a massive fight over Christmas dinner but that they will threaten to cut me off financially and emotionally and disown me. I’m close to my mother and grandparents. At the same time, I love my partner and don’t want to put her through the hell of that. She wont be coming with me, as she has to work.”

The MileHighGayGuy Guide to 2013's Best Christmas and Holiday Music: Erasure, Kelly Clarkson, Mary J. Blige & Tamar Braxton

By John Hill

Have you had a hectic December? Did it just dawn on you that Christmas is mere days away? If that’s the case, we’re here to help you get in the Christmas spirit with four Christmas albums that you may have missed while being busy doing whatever else was more important. Hopefully something here will help your heart grow three sizes like the Grinch.

Erasure, Snow Globe – Part 80s New Wave Pop, part traditional Christmas music (in Latin, no less!), and 100% gay…who would expect any less from Erasure! In all seriousness, this album is brilliant. Leave it to Vince Clarke and Andy Bell to take a 16th Century hymn like “Gaudete” and turn it into a thumping Christmas jam that you’ll want to listen to on repeat. While there are traditional carols like “White Christmas” that receive the full Vince Clarke treatment like “White Christmas,” the originals are the true stars here. “Make It Wonderful” is easily one of the best Erasure songs of the past 10 years, and "There'll Be No Tomorrow” bring back memories of old-school Depeche Mode while still sounding current. If you are looking to make the Yuletide gay, Snow Globe is the way to go.

Kelly Clarkson, Wrapped In Red – Speaking of originals, Kelly Clarkson got in the holiday spirit and decided to release her own Christmas album with original songs as well. “Underneath the Tree” has been hailed as the best new Christmas song since “All I Want for Christmas is You,” but if you want something a bit left of center, check out “4

Carats,” a modern take on “Santa Baby” co-written with pop legend Cathy Dennis. “Wrapped in Red” has that old school vibe as well, and “Every Christmas” goes for the torchy vibe as Kelly is “waiting, praying” for her man to come home. If you like your Christmas songs on the traditional side, Clarkson’s got that covered as well, including a diva-tactic version of “Silent Night” recorded with country royalty Reba McEntire and Trisha Yearwood. There is something amazing about the harmonies on this track, which has quickly become my favorite version of the traditional carol. The mix of classics with new compositions should help keep you from getting bored while still feeling the Christmas spirit.

Mary J Blige, A Mary Christmas – Of COURSE Mary J. Blige would release a Christmas album that uses her name in the title. That’s a no-brainer. What is surprising is the song selection, which changes up things a bit from Mary’s typical R&B style. “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” works on the same level as a Michael Buble recording with the big band arrangement, “Noche de Pas (Silent Night)” is a sweet bi-lingual duet with Marc Anthony, and “Little Drummer Boy” busts out the choir to open but settles into a more contemporary arrangement. If there’s one song that doesn’t quite work, it would probably be “When You Wish Upon a Star,” which features Barbara Streisand in a duet that doesn’t wow the way you would expect this pairing to do. All is forgiven by the time “Mary, Did You Know” pops up, imbuing this modern classic originally recorded by Michael English with an original take that evokes No More Drama-era Mary. While you would expect an album filled with R&B standards, this eclectic mix works just as well, showing a versatility that Blige’s fans have known was there for years.

Tamar Braxton, Winter Loversland – She did that! Toni’s little sister not only came into her own in 2013, she decided to double the return on her visibility by releasing a Christmas album only two months after her comeback disc Love and War. As with Blige’s A Mary Christmas, if you are expecting a strictly R&B Christmas party, you might be a bit disappointed. “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” takes on a loungy vibe that suits Braxton’s voice well and the stripped-down medley of “Away in a Manger/Little Drummer Boy” show off a more restrained Tamar than the over-the-top personality would lead you to believe. Still, Tamar does a great job of making a few standards her own, including “The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late),” which she sings with sister Trina, and “Sleigh Ride.” However, the most satisfying track on this record is the original “She Can Have You,” which Braxton has described as a personal song about being alone at Christmastime but choosing to be alone rather than with Mr. Wrong. Tamar covers all aspects of love at Christmas on Winter Loversland, and it works all the way around.

While his full-time job is in education, John Hill also writes a successful music blog titled Pop Music Notes. He is also active on Twitter @popmusicnotes and lives in Denver with his partners in crime James and Bruiser.

Homo for the Holidays: The Gift of the Diva Gay

By Todd Craig

My husband likes to believe that he’s easy to shop for. After all, there is nothing he doesn’t want. After this Christmas, I beg to differ.

You see, I’m from the school of thought that believes that a present is a gesture that represents how you feel towards someone while at the same time giving them something to remember you, the giver, as well. I listen intently as the months approach for clues as to wants and desires of friends and family. I labor at nights thinking of ways to personalize gifts and give them in a heartfelt way. The challenge of Christmas to me is finding each and every person on my list something that they’ll treasure and love for years.
 
My husband, on the other hand, is a Diva Gay. What is a Diva Gay, you ask? Diva Gays are known for their love of fashion and style. They worship their goddess, Mariah Carey. They love labels. They sing bling. There’s no such thing as too flashy or too gaudy when a diva is involved. When it comes to buying a diva gay a present, you merely go to any designer store - whether it be fashion, jewelry, or whatnot - and purchase something outrageously expensive. Never mind the fact that the said item that you’re purchasing has little or no perceived value to the other 99.9% of the humanity. Never mind that the Visa bank who backs your card is burning up your cell phone with disapproving voice messages that say, “Are you REALLY sure you want to do that?”  

True Story #1: After dating and talking about marriage, the future, and the possibility of having kids, my husband once proclaimed that he’d be more OK with having kids if he didn’t have to put any macaroni and glitter homemade crap on his refrigerator door. For our first Valentine’s Day, I made him a four-foot heart out of red construction paper trimmed in – you guessed it – macaroni and glitter. Of course, I was no fool. I coupled that shit with some 1000 thread count sheets, too. (Heh, heh… see what I did there? Pitched to the diva’s expectations and worked in a little heartfelt, cornball romance. Smooth, huh?) The sheets are long gone now, but that first Valentine remains. Even a Diva Gay’s heart can be touched, as it turns out.

True Story #2: For Christmas this year, our kindergarten son made us at school a hand-painted snowman magnet out of popsicle sticks, cut-out pieces of felt, and googly eyes. It hangs proudly on our fridge. Even a Diva’s Gay heart is vulnerable, it turns out, to the handiwork constructions of a six year old boy.

Anyway, getting back to my Christmas shopping woes, back in October we were walking through the mall, running a few errands, when what should catch my husband’s eye? A shiny new red Coach bag complete with yellow metal hardware and a heart-attack inducing price tag. His gasp was audible from its beauty as was mine upon seeing the cost of that thing. You see, I’ve been to this rodeo before. Those f**kers at Coach don’t play around. So you get your man the purse of his dreams, right? But you’re not done there. Then you have to get the coordinating wallet, the mini-skinny, the key-chain, the scarf, the LoJack security system, and the rustproofing before realizing that you just spent enough money to purchase a small island or a year’s tuition at DU.

So, yeah … a new purse again, huh? I winced in pain as the thought took hold of me. But as Christmas grew closer, well, we had some fortune come our way. My husband started a new full-time job after Thanksgiving as the lead administrator for a high-end jewelry store. Then my teaching job unexpectedly gave me a December bonus. Those two facts, when mixed with a moment of holiday weakness, convinced me that maybe my diva did indeed deserve some indulgence this year. I figured that I’d wait until the weekend before Christmas, make my mall journey, and buy the perfect gift for the holiday.

But divas are nothing if not a bit demanding when it comes to their presents. And indeed my husband’s idea of gift giving and receiving goes a bit like this: I’ll give you a list, and you go buy it for me. 

To that end, a few weeks before Christmas I received a list of add-ons for his china pattern. Yes, the boy loves him some fancy dishes, and to that end, when we married, he of course picked out a wildly popular and expensive pattern that has roughly 5,000 different overpriced pieces that you only get to use on Christmas and Easter. Over the years, I have bought him enough gravy boats here and soup tureens there to the point where we really need a second china hutch to display it all.

And that’s what he wanted now? More dishes? Obviously the whole purse idea had been forgotten as the weeks had passed. As I perused his list, it did occur to me that the overall cost for his dishes was well under the cost of the purse, its accessories, and the obligatory Coach undercoating and extended warranty plan.

Yet the temptation to go big for my diva was too much. I ignored the list, despite my Mariah’s expressed interest in the china and its lower price tag, and stuck with my original plan, the purse.
Lying in bed two nights before I planned on purchasing the purse, my husband began his annual game of Twenty Questions with me about my Christmas plans for his present. This is an annual event which means two things: 1. He knows I hate shopping off of gift lists and was nervous that I was getting him something not-listed, and 2. The whole house had been turned upside-down in a quest to find his Christmas present only to find nothing.

True Story #3: For his birthday one year, I put notes throughout the house in all of the various and assorted possible present hiding places. He wasn’t nearly as amused as I thought he would be when he opened up our cooler on a present quest and found a note informing him of my superior present-hiding skills. (His present was in my closet at work that year. Divas are thorough, after all…)
Anyway, my husband and I were in bed when the questions started. "What are you getting me? What kind of store are you buying it at? How much are you planning on spending?"

I artfully dodged question after question, only giving him enough information to conclude that I was going to buy him a vacuum cleaner – because, well, you do have to tease a diva a little bit.

“Don’t you dare!” he exclaimed.

“But a Dyson is like the designer label of vacuums,” I argued in return, giggling to myself.

“Do NOT get me a f**king vacuum! That’s NOT funny! I don’t want anything practical! Don’t get me a vacuum. Don’t get me new pots and pans. Don’t get me a new purse either.”

No purse? Did I hear that correctly? Oh, shit! There went Plan A.

The next day, two days before Christmas, I pulled up his list on my computer. There was no way any of the china would ship on time and arrive before Christmas now. Two of the items on the list had even been sold out.

I felt defeated.

I went ahead and ordered what I could. I purchased a couple of movies so that he’d have something to unwrap. During Christmas I told him of the china, and he seemed very excited for what was on its way.

Lying in bed that night, I told him the whole story of my trials with his present this year. I told him that I was sorry that he didn’t have his present here to open on Christmas.

“You always take good care of me,” he told me before rolling over and kissing me. “I totally forgot about that purse until now, and it would have been a good gift. But I’ll like my china when it gets here, and it was a very good Christmas either way.

“Besides,” he added with a grin, “the purse will still be there for Valentine’s Day, right?”

Things to do in Denver When You're Gay: Denver Zoo Lights

Featuring a brand new layout, the Denver Zoo Lights 22nd annual celebration, running nightly November 30, 2012-January 2, 2013, from 5:30-9 p.m., will celebrate cultural traditions, introduce a special train ride and illuminate the zoo's newest exhibit, Toyota Elephant Passage, with lanterns.

Denver Zoo will be transformed to a wild winter wonderland as guests wander under the canopy of lights throughout themed regions at this year's Zoo Lights. Families can journey to the North Pole region to visit with Santa, enjoy tasty treats at Ms. Claus' Sweet Shop and take a spin on the carousel. In this region folks can also take Denver Zoo's historic train ride, revamped this year with a special theme.
Also new this year is the Festival of Lanterns illuminating Denver Zoo's new award-winning exhibit Toyota Elephant Passage. More than 200 Asian lanterns of various shapes, colors and sizes will shine above the exhibit's walkways with LED light, while guests can get warm and see elephants, fishing cats and small-clawed otters in the indoor buildings.

At the Sea of Lights, light sculpture displays of seahorses, whales and a gigantic octopus swim throughout this wintery wonderland as waves of holiday lights crash upon the shore.

Also new this year, the Celebration! Pavilion will celebrate cultural traditions from around the world through dance, music and storytelling every evening of the event. Entertainment will include African storytellers and mariachi bands.

The holiday tradition is made complete with 40 brilliantly-illuminated acres of lights, featuring more than 150 animated animal sculptures that swing through trees, jump across lawns, hide in bushes and appear in places where they're least expected. Numerous Denver Zoo animals also can be seen throughout the experience including polar bears, sea lions, arctic foxes, Komodo dragons, giraffes, hippos and rhinos. Penguins can also be seen at a nightly demonstration.

Festivities also will include live animal demonstrations, carolers, instrumental groups, ice carvers, delicious holiday treats at warming stations throughout the zoo and the ever-popular Zoo Year's Eve party.

Travel: San Francisco for the Holidays

It’s as easy to fill a trip with holiday cheer in San Francisco as it is for Santa to stuff a stocking.
Visitors have a city full of options: Live performances by the San Francisco Ballet, the San Francisco Symphony and the cast of Beach Blanket Babylon. Going to the theater for The Velveteen Rabbit, A Christmas Carol and The Lion King.  Or taking part in The Dance-Along Nutcracker or a holiday sing-a-long at Grace Cathedral.

There are tree lightings galore, ice skating rinks, gingerbread houses and reportedly, the world's largest sugar castle.  Breakfasts with Santa, Kwanzaa celebrations and a reindeer romp at the San Francisco Zoo are also popular.  Holiday-themed culinary events, fancy teas and Dungeness crab season – which runs from early November to New Year's Day 2013 – will satisfy anyone with a curious, holiday-oriented appetite.

For a roundup of holiday-related events and activities in San Francisco and the surrounding Bay Area, click here.

Ask Eric Anything: No Cheer Here

Dear Eric,
The holidays are supposed to be a time for cheer and spending time with family and friends but year after year I find myself getting more and more depressed and annoyed around this time of the year. 

I don't get the "Christmas spirit" and haven't for a long time. More than anything, I just see it as another year gone by and what do I have to show for it, nothing. 

The worst part is that everyone I know really tries to "cheer me up" but that just makes me more irritable even though it's not their fault. I'd like to enjoy the season but it just doesn't feel like I can.  Any advice?

Signed, 
No Cheer Here

Dear No Cheer Here,

First of all, you need to see your life in a different light.

With all due respect, your words seem laden with bitterness. Your present mentality seems to be projecting a reality which you have been carrying for years.

You need to let go of the past and break the cycle.

How do you accomplish this? Change the way you see life. As this year comes to an end, look at life with your heart and unconditional love. Do something different. Take care of yourself first. Find love for yourself. Fix whatever makes you unhappy and whatever is affecting your psyche. This way, no matter what external forces are at play, they will no longer affect you in the same manner. Look at the holiday season as an excuse to treat yourself and bask in the glow of the wonderful person you are.

See others with love and free of judgment to start anew. If it gratifies you to do something special for someone else, by all means extend yourself. Don’t allow the holidays to continue to inflict the negative experiences and emotions you have felt over the years.

You are free to live a life full of unlimited bliss, so long as you will it. Every thought creates energy and that energy transforms into reality. You choose the reality you want to live and no one can make you feel inferior without your consent, for you matter and are loved!

Make this holiday season an excuse to enrich your life. go out and buy yourself something to treat yourself for all you accomplished this year - by your standards and no one else’s. This holiday season isn’t just about the “Christmas spirit”, it’s also about embracing the New Year and what’s to come ahead in a world of possibility which will open for you only if you allow it. You mustn’t get in your own way. Do what makes your heart sing.

This season, make it about what makes you happy and full. Start your day with a holiday breakfast, do some holiday decorating and listen to fun music. As the day unfolds to your liking, make the night yours and only yours. That’s right, cater to your needs and make it a romantic night for you. Light your fireplace (if you have one), read your favorite book and cook up a holiday feast for your beloved self or treat yourself to a fine dining experience. Find joy in the things you enjoy doing most. Watch your favorite holiday movies, pause and play at your leisure and follow up with relaxing music of your choice alongside a romantic candlelit bath for one.

By ending this year and starting 2012 with a full heart of love and self-appreciation, you beget what you put out and that is love.  As cliché as it sounds, you can’t fully love someone until you love yourself.  Love yourself and bask in your greatness. Set your calendar, send yourself flowers, a card and have fun with you. See this year as a year of change and growth as you set foot into a new year full of love. By using the law of attraction, the more love you send from within, the more it comes back times three. Start this season with love and enjoy yourself. May you have a year full of love, health, success, joy and bliss!

Free Music Download: Laura Warshauer - I Love You, Mr. Grinch

Last week Laura Warshauer re-released her original Christmas song, “I Love You, Mr. Grinch,” to unanimous praise. 

 

Now, you can download the quirky love song for free. Add it to your holiday music playlist and get yourself in a holiday mood!

   

 

Holiday Music Extravaganza - Annie Lennox, Shelby Lynne, The Puppini Sisters

It's that time again ... time for the relentless onslaught of holiday music. Get ready to enjoy new stuff as well as the classics we all know and love from a variety of artists including:

Annie Lennox - one of the most successful, iconic and talented artists of the late 20th century -- is back like you’ve never heard her before with 'A Christmas Cornucopia'. A stunning collection of new and inspired interpretations of eleven traditional festive songs, the disc is rounded out by her new composition and first single, “Universal Child.” The CD will be released on Decca in the U.S. and everywhere else November 15th on Island Records.

“I’ve known these songs and carols all my life, and I’ve sung them since I was little,” says the songwriter and singer of such beautiful tracks as “The Holly And The Ivy,” “Silent Night,” “The First Noel,” and other, more unconventional songs such as “Il Est Ne Le Divin Enfant,” and “Lullay Lullay.” “They’re just in me. They’re a huge part of my life. So it’s not an arbitrary selection. Those relationships with those pieces of music were there intrinsically before I approached the recording.”

The music on the album was mostly played by Lennox, in collaboration with co-producer Mike Stevens, and recorded in his southwest London studio – at the bottom of his garden. But to achieve the resonance and vibrancy that were integral to Lennox’s ideas, the pair also worked with a 30-piece orchestra at Pinewood Studios. They also traveled to South Africa and recorded with the African Children’s Choir, a remarkable organization with whom impassioned campaigner and activist Lennox has long had a relationship.

The Annie Lennox Foundation, the star’s own charity, raises money for charitable projects supporting and educating women and children in Africa with HIV/AIDS. “All the income that I earn from ‘Universal Child’ will be paid to the Annie Lennox Foundation,” commented the singer of her first single.Shelby Lynne offers up 'Merry Christmas' – the Grammy winner’s first holiday collection, coming out on her own Everso Records.

Swingin’ and rockin’, sexy and eccentric have never before described a Christmas album--until now. Then again, there has never before been an artist who claims both The Andrews Sisters and The Smiths as influences. Holiday music finally puts on red lipstick, slips into a silky cleavage-celebrating ballgown, and goes gorgeous and glamorous with 'Christmas With The Puppini Sisters' (below left).

A female vocal trio featuring ‘40s-style close harmony, backed by a fearless jazz threesome, the retro-futuristic Puppini Sisters put their signature sequined stamp on timeless songs of the season for the sensational group’s third album.

From a scorching cover of Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas,” hyperspeed “Step Into Christmas,” oh-so-sexy “Santa Baby,” cabaret “Here Comes Santa Claus” and lilting “Last Christmas” to a weirdly wonderful “White Christmas,” scat-filled “Let It Snow,” ukulele oozing “Mele Kalilimaka,” uber-trad “Winter Wonderland” and divine “O Holy Night,” the Puppini Sisters deliver original twists rather than nostalgic flashbacks.

Slay your hangover with a New Year's Day Buffy the Vampire Slayer marathon on Logo

Good news for those of us who plan to spend New Year's Day hungover and on the couch!

Logo's serving up a 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' marathon and I can't think of a better way to ring in the new year. 'New Year’s Slay' premieres Friday, January 1 at 6 a.m. The show will then start airing regularly on Logo later in the month. Whoo-hoo!

The only problem is that New Year's Day is also the kickoff of the 'Degrassi: TNG' marathon over on Teen Nick. 'Buffy' is my favorite TV show of all time but Teen Nick is showing every 'Degrassi: TNG' episode ever made for crying out loud. 'Buffy' or 'Degrassi'? What's a gay guy to do?

Happy Holidays!

Happy Holidays everybody!

Posting will be light if at all for today and tomorrow.

Photo is of the holiday lights at the Denver City and County building from dbcnwa's Flickr photostream.

Something to stuff your stocking from Daddyhunt.com

The folks at DaddyHunt.com have put together a sexy little video Christmas present for us all to enjoy. It's a little bit naughty and a little bit nice.

Daddyhunt.com (site NSFW) is an online gay community with free membership offering dating and socializing services to men who identify as "daddy," as well as "hunters" interested in meeting sexy, older men.

Make the Yuletide gay

The holidays can be a stressful time. You're off your diet, overscheduled, and way over your budget. Health and wellness expert Kendra Fried has some tips and tricks to keep you sane this holiday season.

Cookies!

I'm more of an eater than a baker but BHG's list of All-Time Favorite Christmas Cookies has me wanting to try my hand at some good old-fashioned cookie making.

How good do these Red Velvet Whoopie Pies look?

MHGG Advertiser Shout Out: National Teleprinting

It’s not too late to order your personalized Greeting Cards to mail in time for the Holidays. National Teleprinting offers a wide selection of personal and business options. Check out designs and verses - or create your own - and place your order at www.NationalTeleprinting.ccholiday.com.

Place your order today and receive 15% off with ID Code: CCHoliday15.

For more information call my buddy Carlos Olivas at 888-741-3742.

Things to do in Denver when you're gay: Build gingerbread houses at The Center

Is hanging out with LGBT families and their kids and creating festive holiday gingerbread houses your idea of fun? Well then plan on coming down to The Center on Dec. 12 from 10 a.m. to noon for a morning of gingerbread house-building amusement!

Visit www.glbtcolorado.org or call 303-733-7743 for more information or to RSVP.

Photo from GingerbreadHouseHeaven.com where you can also find free templates, step-by-step instructions and decorating ideas for making gingerbread houses.

Cheap Dates: $19 for The Nutcracker

A limited number of $19 tickets are available for the Colorado Ballet's holiday production of 'The Nutcracker' and you can check dates and times and get your tickets here.

Happy Howlidays!

PlanetOut is putting together another gallery for the happy holiday season and they need fun holiday-themed photos of you and your beloved pets. Whether it's just you and man's best friend next to the tree, the whole family and felines by the fireplace or other pet friends in fabulously festive poses, send 'em to PlanetOut for the world to see.

Brothas4Ever: Black Santa

Brothas4Ever next gets together on December 7 at Reggie's Place from 7-9 p.m. to talk about Black Santa.

Creating a community of African-American men who love men throughout the Denver metro area, to address health, relationships, emotional needs and substance abuse Brothas4Ever includes social events, weekly groups, peer outreach and individual counseling.

Dreaming of a White Party Christmas?

Purchase before December 16th and save $110 on a White Party Weekend Pass valid for entry into four main events - Boxers or Briefs, The White Party, T-Dance and the Closing Party.

CU's GLBT Alumni Holiday Party

On Friday, December 4 at the Koenig Alumni Center on the CU Boulder campus you can enjoy an evening with old and new friends and allies at CU Boulder's annual GLBT Alumni Party. RSVP by December 1 to Marc at marc.killinger@colorado.edu or 303-492-2280 for an evening of friendship, holiday spirit, great prizes and delicious food, beer, wine, soft drinks and special entertainment by UCB student a cappella singers, Mile 21.