A message from Judy Shepard: We must all protect gay youth from suicide

The following is a message from Judy Shepard, mother of Matthew Shepard and President of the Matthew Shepard Foundation Board of Directors:

Our family, and the staff and board at the Matthew Shepard Foundation, are all deeply saddened by the devastating report of at least the fourth gay or gay-perceived teen to commit suicide in this country in the last month.

Reports say that Tyler Clementi, 18, leapt to his death from the George Washington Bridge near his New Jersey college campus after a roommate allegedly broadcast him in a same-sex encounter behind closed doors in his dorm room, and apparently invited others, via Twitter, to view it online. Regardless of his roommate’s alleged tweet, Tyler had apparently made no statement about his own sexual orientation. I’m sure we will all learn more about this terrible tragedy as legal proceedings unfold, but the contempt and disregard behind such an invasion of privacy seems clear. In the meantime, we send our thoughts and prayers to Tyler’s family as they mourn their loss.

In the last month there has been a shocking series of teen suicides linked to bullying, taunting, and general disrespect regarding sexual orientation, in every corner of America. Just a few days ago, Seth Walsh, a 13-year-old in Tehachapi, Calif., passed away after 10 days on life support after he hanged himself. Police say he had been mercilessly taunted by fellow students over his perceived sexual orientation.

Billy Lucas, 15, hanged himself a few weeks ago at his Indiana home after years of reported harassment by students who judged him to be gay. Asher Brown, a 13-year-old in Harris, TX, who had recently come out, took his life with a gun after, his parents say, their efforts to alert school officials to ongoing bullying were not acted upon.

Many Americans also learned this week about Tyler Wilson, an 11-year-old boy in Ohio who decided to join a cheerleading squad that had been all-female. As a gymnast, he was interested in the athletic elements of cheering. He was taunted with homophobic remarks and had his arm broken by two schoolmates who apparently assumed him to be gay. He told “Good Morning America” that since returning to school, he’s been threatened with having his other arm broken, too.

Our young people deserve better than to go to schools where they are treated this way. We have to make schools a safe place for our youth to prepare for their futures, not be confronted with threats, intimidation or routine disrespect.

Quite simply, we are calling one more time for all Americans to stand up and speak out against taunting, invasion of privacy, violence and discrimination against these youth by their peers, and asking everyone in a position of authority in their schools and communities to step forward and provide safe spaces and support services for LGBT youth or those who are simply targeted for discrimination because others assume they are gay. There can never be enough love and acceptance for these young people as they seek to live openly as their true selves and find their role in society.

Suicide is a complicated problem and it is too easy to casually blame it on a single factor in a young person’s life, but it is clear that mistreatment by others has a tremendously negative effect on a young person’s sense of self worth and colors how he or she sees the world around them. Parents, educators and peers in the community need to be vigilant to the warning signs of suicide and other self-destructive behaviors in the young people in their lives, and help them find resources to be healthy and productive. We urge any LGBT youth contemplating suicide to immediately reach out to The Trevor Project, day or night, at (866) 4-U-TREVOR [866-488-7386].

Watch "The Legacy of Matthew Shepard" Live Online

In her tireless advocacy over the past 10 years, Judy Shepard has visited 238 universities, 21 high schools, 123 community organizations and 45 corporations with her presentation on Matt’s legacy and the choices we all can make to make equality for all a reality.

Thanks to the generosity of the Cisco Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual, Transgender & Advocates Employee Resource Group (ERG) – San Francisco Bay Area Chapter - Judy’s “The Legacy of Matthew Shepard” presentation on the importance of replacing hate with understanding, compassion, and acceptance will be available next week to be hosted live on your very own computer screen.

Tens of thousands of people who have heard Mrs. Shepard’s story have been touched, inspired, and moved to make positive changes in their relationships. You may be too.

Click here to RSVP for this special opportunity to hear Judy’s perspective Monday afternoon on the challenges our communities face in embracing diversity.

See Judy Shepard in Denver on April 21

On April 21 from 7-9 p.m., Facing History and Ourselves and The Allstate Foundation will host a Community Conversation at the Sherman Street Event Center in Denver entitled Matthew’s Legacy: The Struggle for Equality and Acceptance Featuring Judy Shepard.

Reservations are required, as seating is limited. To RSVP and for more information, go to facinghistory.org/communityconversations or call 303-316-4848. This event is free and open to the public.

The Legacy of Matthew Shepard featuring Judy Shepard in Denver tonight

Judy Shepard, Kelly McGillis among honorees at HRC's 10th Annual Palm Springs Garden Party

The Human Rights Campaign, the nation’s largest lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) civil rights organization, today announced the line-up for the 10th Annual Palm Springs Garden Party on Saturday, November 7. Judy Shepard, executive director of the Matthew Shepard Foundation and member of the HRC Foundation board of directors, will receive the Ally for Equality award for her work to pass hate crimes legislation.

Recently out actress Kelly McGillis, star of 'Top Gun' and 'Witness', will also be honored with the HRC Visibility Award.

“We’re grateful to Judy and the Shepard family for their tireless advocacy against hate violence,” said Human Rights Campaign President Joe Solmonese. “This is a critical time in our movement and our push for equal rights. ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ and DOMA are still on the books and an inclusive ENDA has yet to become law. Real families are left without protections and people living with HIV and AIDS aren’t getting the care they need. Students are being bullied in school because they’re different and bi-national couples are treated like they’ve never met. We need our community to be involved and to become citizen lobbyists.”

The Meaning of Matthew

Today, the name Matthew Shepard is synonymous with gay rights, but before his grisly murder in 1998, Matthew was simply Judy Shepard’s son. For the first time in book form, Judy Shepard speaks about her loss, sharing memories of Matthew, their life as a typical American family, and the pivotal event in the small college town that changed everything.

The Meaning of Matthew follows the Shepard family in the days immediately after the crime, when Judy and her husband traveled to see their incapacitated son, kept alive by life support machines; how the Shepards learned of the incredible response from strangers all across America who held candlelit vigils and memorial services for their child; and finally, how they struggled to navigate the legal system as Matthew’s murderers were on trial. Heart-wrenchingly honest, Judy Shepard confides with readers about how she handled the crippling loss of her child, why she became a gay rights activist, and the challenges and rewards of raising a gay child in America today.

The Meaning of Matthew not only captures the historical significance and complicated civil rights issues surrounding one young man’s life and death, but it also chronicles one ordinary woman’s struggle to cope with the unthinkable.

All books purchased by September 20 of this year will be personally inscribed to the buyer and signed by Judy Shepard. Order your copy at MatthewShepard.org.

Ten years since Matthew Shepard