Confessions of a Mormon Boy: Author/Actor Steven Fales on Tyra Banks

Steven Fales, author and star of 'Confessions of a Mormon Boy' (March 29-April 1 at Denver's Dangerous Theatre) appeared on an episode of The Tyra Banks Show to discuss his experiences with anti-gay reparative therapy. Powerful stuff.

Confessions of a Mormon Boy: A conversation with Steven Fales, part 2

By Drew Wilson

Before there was Book of Mormon, there was Confessions of a Mormon Boy – Steven Fales’ autobiographical play about a good Mormon boy gone bad as an escort in New York City.

I had the chance to speak to Steven about his upcoming run at Denver’s Dangerous Theatre (March 29-April 1) and talk about family, religion and spirituality in addition to sex, drugs and Tyra Banks! Part one of our conversation was published yesterday. And here's part two!

You mentioned reparative therapy earlier. Did you go through it?

I did it with the biggest names in the business Joseph Nicolosi who wrote the book Reparative Therapy of male homosexuality and he’s the president of the national association of research and therapy of homosexuality. I did therapy with him and Joe consiglio one of the founders of exodus. And I was part of evergreen international. If I was going to come out of the closet I wanted to think there was some science to it. If it could be scientifically done, I was willing to look into it. On certain levels, I made a very deliberate examination of what was going on. I didn’t want to lose my wife and kids but the therapy made me feel isolated and self-loathing. And the attraction became more intense, not less ,and ultimately I had to face the truth.

I was actually on The Tyra Banks show episode about reparative therapy. I did so many wacky things trying to be straight.

Is there a connection with people who undergo reparative therapy and then come out as so visibly gay?

Are you saying there’s some kind of narcissm going on? There are two things, I think. People who do reparative therapy often do it because they want to please people and society and they don’t want to take the risks of coming out. They fear being excommunicated or losing the things they have. It’s a little bit selfish. The other side of it is that I think they are truth seekers and they really want to know and risk this exploration. It’s not a popular thing to do. Once they take that risk and learn that it is not for them - that our sexual orientation is not sexual addiction or sexual disorder or bad or wrong, it can be a very spiritual and expansive and emotional thing.

I didn’t used to think it was possible but I’ve had boyfriends now where the sex is equally as beautiful as any I ever had with my wife. And I tell you, sex with intimacy blows crystal meth sex away any day.

So, when they find out the truth they want to let everyone know and they want to make a difference. As a good Mormon boy I was taught to want to make a difference. So if we can forgive these guys for the little show ponies they have inside them and really listen to what they have to say … these guys are warriors coming back from the trenches and they have a message …

What’s the message?

I’ll tell you what my message is - not only is it ok to be gay, but we are not our past. The end. The most political thing I can do as a gay man is to reclaim my spiritual life.

Do you think many gay men are divorced from their spiritual lives?

When we buy into what we’re told that God doesn’t love us or that we are not worthy, what do we fill ourselves with? I found there was somewhat of a spiritual feeling I could have on drugs at 7am on the dance floor. But it wears off and those people leave. So I think we are having a crisis because so many of us have been spiritually abused in our churches and it prevents us from getting into recovery and it prevents us from having stable relationships. I think the battle for equality is taking place right now in the churches of America and we are conspicuously missing from that battle.

Are you sober now?

I’ve been in recovery since 2003, a few slips along the way but doing well. It’s for the best. You don’t want to see me do this show high! I’d just stare into the lights … so pretty and bright!

What’s the strangest thing that ever happened to you during your escorting days?

Wait until you see the scene with my first escort on stage, the Japanese lizard. You’ll laugh your ass off. I did the show in London’s West End last summer and they would not stop laughing at the Japanese lizard so I think you’ll like him.

I’ve heard the show has lots of Mormon flesh on display.

Mormons are opportunities we do whatever it take to win. We want to win your approbation. You kind of seem the same way. Drew, let me ask you something. Did you grow up Mormon?

I did not. I studied with the Jehovah's Witnesses for a while.

 Oh, you are my brother then! When a Jehovah’s Witness comes up to me we’re always like best friends once they’ve seen the show. My best friend was Jehovah’s Witness and I call him ‘hovah boy and he calls me Mormon boy. Mormons and Jehovah Witnesses go through spiritual abuse that I think is unlike anything any of the other religions can do.

How’d you get hooked up with Denver’s Dangerous Theatre?

Someone tipped me off to the Denver Fringe Festival and they thought the show would be great there. I have never played Denver and there are a lot of gay Mormons there – have you ever heard of the group Affirmations? They’re the gay Mormons. Definitely want to shout out to my Denver Affirmation folks. So I contacted Winnie (owner of Denver Fringe Festival and Denver’s Dangerous Theatre) and I love doing dangerous work, so it was a great fit. And I hear its kind of a sex club at night? I might have to check out the late show myself!

Why should readers of MileHighGayGuy come see the show?

Denver is bigger than Salt Lake City but the cities still have a lot in common as mountain towns. I’ve never done the show in another mountain town and I’m really looking forward to meeting the people of Denver – I think they’re really going to be able to get into my Brokeback Mormon dream. Denver is going to get it. Variety calls my show Brokeback Mormon because of this dream I have. I’m going to be doing my Brokeback dream for you!

Sponsored by MileHighGayGuy.com, Confessions of a Mormon Boy will run for only five performances. For more information or tickets visit DangerousTheatre.com or call 720-233-4703.  

Confessions of a Mormon Boy: A conversation with Steven Fales, Part 1

By Drew Wilson

Before there was Book of Mormon, there was Confessions ofa Mormon Boy – Steven Fales’ autobiographical play about a good Mormon boy gone bad as an escort in New York City.

I had the chance to speak to Steven about his upcoming run at Denver’s Dangerous Theatre (March 29-April 1) and talk about family, religion and spirituality in addition to sex, drugs and Tyra Banks! Here's part one of our conversation. Part two will run tomorrow.

So Steven, tell me about the show.

You know, first of all, people always think ‘Oh, another Mormon show’? But I am the original. Long before Book of Mormon opened on Broadway, my show opened off Broadway. And it’s the only true offering of the Mormon experience you’ll find on stage – Angels in America you can’t say is a true story. Book of Mormon, you can’t. And then the film Latter Days? It’s semi-autobiographical but not really true.

What do you mean by true?

Well, you only get a two-dimensional look at Mormon culture and the Mormon experience in those films. What I’m offering is the true story and it goes much further behind the scenes. As far as the gay Mormon experience we have a more seasoned, nuanced approach. Nuances that writers outside of Mormonism just won’t get because they’re not Mormon. I will take you from a Mormon temple marriage all the way to escorting in Manhattan - the gritty underbelly of NYC.

How does one go from being a good Mormon boy to a NYC escort?

Well, I think you know how things can go sometimes in the gay community. I’m certainly not the only one.

What made you write Confessions of a Mormon Boy and the rest of the trilogy?

One of the things that prompted me to write was that my mother-in-law was not honest about the gay Mormon experience and she was considered the patron saint of gay Mormons. Carol Lynn Pearson wrote this major best seller called Goodbye, I Love You, about bringing her ex-husband home to die of AIDS, which came out in 1996 through Random House.

I married her oldest daughter Emily. I told her I was gay before we got married and I thought that, with reparative therapy, any problems with my same sex attraction could be eradicated and we could keep it together. We were getting married for children, for art, for the Lord and because we were friends. But as time went on, I had my issues and she had things that I took on that were equally as challenging as what she took on with my same-sex attraction. When it all fell apart I was under the microscope quite a bit because of who my mother-in-law was and so I became a double bastard in Utah – a bastard to the Mormons and a bastard to gay Utah. So I then took my pain and anger and my well-preserved 30 year-old self to New York and boom, overnight I’m escorting in penthouses.

The real thing about this show is that is is the story of what it takes to wake up and stop being a victim. I think the greatest tyranny is the tyranny within. It’s not the Mormon Church. It’s not the sex industry. It’s me. It’s a powerful piece but it’s also very sexy, very funny and it’s only the first of three. I also wrote a prequel and a sequel. And I’m so glad I get to see Denver before the Book of Mormon comes your way!

Why do you think Mormonism is having such a day in the popular culture sun?

I think it was inevitable that Mormonism would arrive and claim its place in Americana. The west, as you know, was settled in large part by the Mormons and so we have wonderful stories to contribute to the American experience.

We could talk about a minority coming of age, a persecuted people who want to be accepted so they excel in many different arenas so they can be legit. Any number of things.

I really do believe in my people but what disappoints me is that we have not told our own stories. And if we have told them, we have not told them honestly. So it’s time. Time to tell our stories. And this is just the beginning, I think that the Mormon experience is just about to pop!

So you still consider yourself a Mormon?

Well, lot of the show is about my children. I have two kids …

Ooh, how much they know about your experiences?

Well, my son saw my show in Orlando last spring almost a year ago and said ‘Dad, it really humanized you.”

And so I say, I may no longer be a Latter Day Saint but something about me will always be Mormon. It’s a cultural thing. Technically I’m now Episcopalian. This church is very progressive but also traditional. My own spiritual path has finally aligned with something that works for me and I’m happy to be on this path of spiritual development. When I left Utah I threw the baby out with the bathwater in terms of spirituality.

In what way?

I turned into a charming, ferocious smiling creature. I escorted for a very intense nine months. Long enough. I still sometimes have flashbacks to that whole mindset. So that’s what you’re going to get from me. You’re going to get the New York section where we deal with sex work. I’m not there to glamorize it, so it’s very gritty and very real. It could have been grittier but I am still Mormon, remember. You have to come see how gritty it is!

Sponsored by MileHighGayGuy.com, Confessions of a Mormon Boy will run for only five performances. For more information or tickets visit DangerousTheatre.com or call 720-233-4703. 

Win free, opening night tickets to 'Confessions of a Mormon Boy'

 'Confessions of a Mormon Boy' is coming Denver's Dangerous Theatre March 29-April 1 and you could win two free tickets to opening night!

Comment this post for a chance to win. Winner will be selected at random on Monday, March 26. *

Steven Fales (top left) could have been the poster child for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon Church): Eagle Scout, international missionary, BYU graduate, married in the Salt Lake Temple, and father of a beautiful boy and girl. In his autobiographical one-man play, Fales tells the captivating story of his failed attempt to overcome his "same-sex attraction" through "reparative therapy," which resulted in his divorce and excommunication from the Mormon Church.

After his perfect Mormon world fell apart, Fales took his pain and confusion to New York City where he quickly descended into the gay underworld of escorting and drugs. Both touching and funny, Mormon Boy is a 90-minute reclamation saga of a Latter-day prodigal son that ends in a moment of self-revelation that "hits us between the eyes like a shot with a two-by-four" (Chicago Sun Times).

The very personal play shows the link between spiritual abuse and addiction. Fales defines spiritual abuse as any time an individual, group, or institution uses religion to justify telling or showing anyone they are not worthy of god’s full love and blessings. Mormon Boy also illustrates the dilemma of those struggling to reconcile their dreams of becoming straight with the realities of being gay and what it costs to accept or deny that truth when children are involved.

Denver's Dangerous Theatre and Mormon Boy Productions are proud to present the Denver Premier of "Confessions of a Mormon Boy."
Only five performances! Buy your tickets today to guarantee your seat. All seating general seating. 

Sponsored by MileHighGayGuy.com.

* If winner does not confirm within 24 hours, a new winner will be selected.

Mile High Hot Guy: Steven Fales

Steven Fales is a professional actor/writer/producer who first came to national attention with his critically acclaimed solo play Confessions of a Mormon Boy - coming to Denver's Dangerous Theatre March 29.

He's also today's Mile High Hot Guy. Looking good in them tighty blackies, Steven!

Confessions of a Mormon Boy comes to Denver's Dangerous Theatre

An absolute hit in cities across the US as well as London’s West End and the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, 'Confessions of a Mormon Boy' has toured extensively all over the country and internationally. 

And Steven Fales has finally found his way to Denver to perform his controversial, critically acclaimed, award-winning off-Broadway hit. What better venue than at Denver’sDangerous Theatre?

This 90-minute solo play recounts how Steven went from being the perfect Mormon boy in Utah to a high-priced call boy in New York City and how he managed to find a middle ground. 

This provocative and inspiring true story takes the audience from his Mormon mission to Portugal and temple marriage, through reparative therapy, excommunication, divorce, prostitution and crystal meth addiction as he struggles to reclaim his self, his two children, and his ‘Donny Osmond smile.’ 

Says Fales, “This is my contribution to help end spiritual abuse and religious violence in churches, mosques, and synagogues.”

Confessions of a Mormon Boy

Written and performed by Steven Fales

Based on original direction by Tony Award Winner Jack Hofsiss

ONLY *5* Performances

March 29^th – April 1^st

Thursday, Friday & Saturday @ 7:30

Saturday & Sunday @ 2:00

Tickets:

$30 for evening performances

$25 for matinee performances

$5.00 discount available for students, seniors, military and members of the Colorado Theater Guild.

Online ticket purchase: http://dangeroustheatre.ticketleap.com/mormon-boy/