Catching Up With Jaymes Vaughan, White Party Ambassador

By contributing writer Jason Kelly

You’ve seen him bumping and grinding on stage as part of the world-famous Chippendales dance troupe.  He made it all the way to the finals last season as runner up on CBS-TV’s “Amazing Race.”  More recently, he launched a campaign to help fund his own father’s fight against cancer.  Now Jaymes Vaughan will serve as the first ever White Party Ambassador for Uber-party producer Jeffrey Sanker’s annual desert extravaganza, White Party Palms Springs, California March 29-April 1.  For more information, visit:  www.jeffreysanker.com

We were able to catch up with the booty-shaking, globetrotting, philanthropist to find out a little bit more about what makes him one of the hottest out and proud stars on the scene today. 

Here’s what he had to say….

Your moves seem so effortless on stage, but what’s the most difficult part of being a Chippendales dancer?

Well I'm the host and singer of the show so unfortunately my "moves" aren’t what I’m known for (I’m so not sexy). Yes there's a singer in Chippendales. I know it takes a second to adjust to the fact that it's not the same show it was back in the 80's with guys in leopard print thongs greased up workin’ a stripper pole, but it's actually a full-scale multi-million dollar production show with a singer, rapper, musicians, and of course those world famous Chippendales. So don't worry you still see skin. Just in a different much, much better way. 

As far as the hardest part of being a Chippendale...without a doubt that is having to look like a Chippendale. I grew up mad dorky with everything a teenage kid doesn't want against them. Bad teeth, bad hair, bad skin, and was about 140lbs soaking wet (at 6'4"). So having to fight that off, when that's still the kid I see in the mirror everyday is definitely the hardest part...

Yup, hardest part of being a Chippendale...having to look like the photo-shopped version of me. That damn guy. 

What advice would you give other gay men or lesbians hoping to compete on “The Amazing Race?”

A race around the world is not about your sexuality. So don’t stress that element. Its 2013, be yourself and go kick ass. I went on the race with my best friend who has a girlfriend. I on the other hand, have a boyfriend. And that difference plays ZERO in your ability to race well. We both were just as good, and unfortunately at times just as bad at is as one another. The only thing you really need to know is to fully love yourself and who you are, so you can be yourself without any reservation. Because that is when you be able to be your best and compete your best. 

What was your reaction when Jeffrey Sanker asked you to be his “White Party Ambassador?”

Holy Crap, Jeffrey Sanker knows who I am? THE Jeffrey Sanker? Pretty sure I said "yes" before he even finished asking the question. 

Are you a White Party virgin?

I have never been to White Party before. So I have absolutely no idea what I am getting myself into...but I'm really excited about it!

Are you looking forward to working with your White Carpet co-host, Adriana de Moura (Real Housewives/Miami) & “MADAME? We hear they are BOTH VERY excited to meet you!  

Wait, they know who I am too? That's probably the coolest part. That Adriana who has millions of fans and is on TV every week and Madame who was hugely iconic in her own time knows who I am and wants to meet me? I still am definitely not used to this 10 million people a week watched me on TV thing...so having anyone at all know who I am is beyond flattering and so damn cool. People come up to me at Burger King and are like "I’m sorry can I take a picture with you?" and I’m like 

"Are you kidding me? Don’t apologize, this is so cool!" I kinda feel like a Kardashian.

How long will you be staying White Party weekend? Will you be enjoying all that Palm Springs has to offer?

I've never been to Palm Springs or White Party so of course I want to check it all out! 

Will your White Party white carpet outfit be as revealing as what you wear on stage?

I can't dress myself...at all. So I'm open to suggestions. Maybe I'll just find a white bow tie since that's what I'm used to wearing to work at Chippendales. 

Do you run your own twitter account?  Will you be tweeting LIVE from White Party?  (Here is a chance to shamelessly plug all your social media!)

Of course I run all my own social media. I ain't cool enough to have somebody do that for me. I'll definitely be keeping everyone posted who isnt there, but then again, why would anyone not be there?! So follow me!  Twitter: @JaymesV    Facebook.com/JaymesVaughan

What are you most looking forward to at this year’s White Party Palm Springs?

The energy - I hear from friends who have performed at White Party in the past that the best part about it is the atmosphere. Everyone is there to have a great time...and this guy loves to have a great time. 

How is your Dad doing?  How is his cancer treatment going?

Thanks for asking. It means so much knowing our community has his back, and I think those positive energy and prayers really do help.

Dad's a fighter. That's the best answer I can ever give anyone. Because it’s a down day in and day out fight. But that's what my Dad does best, FIGHT. And he has such an amazing attitude about it. He's still fighting, so we are still fighting doing everything we can to help emotionally and financially through forgetcancernow.com because after all that's the whole reason James and I even went on The Amazing Race. To help my Dad. And that's what we are gonna do. 

What’s next for Jaymes Vaughan?

My new single "Tonight" comes out in February and I'm pretty stoked about that because music is and always will be my number one passion. But amazing, amazing things have come our way since the race ended and I'm so blessed and grateful to have them. James and I's own show will hopefully be on your TV screens by the Fall Season as well. It's called "What The Hell Do We Do Here?" and from the episodes we've already shot I can tell you it's a lot of fun.at least to make it. Hopefully it's just as fun for y'all to watch. .

And finally, what all of our readers will want to know if they meet you White Party Weekend - are  you single or taken?

I truly believe there is someone for everyone and I waited a long time to be able to say this..but I'm 100% without a doubt head over heels fairy tale kind of love, taken. I'm a very, very lucky guy.

Tranifesto: Looking for Love in 2013?

By Matt Kailey

The holidays can be a rough time for trans people who are feeling alone and lonely, and if you’re one of those people, you might be making a New Year’s resolution to find romance in 2013. And while no one ever called me the world’s greatest lover (although I’m not aware of excessive complaints), I do have a few things for you to consider if a new relationship is one of your resolutions:

1. A storybook romance is not the end-all and be-all of your life. If you grew up with fairy tales and happily-ever-after endings, you might feel left out, or even like a loser, if you are not happily hitched in one form or another. But remember that the Western cultural model of a two-person, monogamous (and usually heterosexual) relationship is just that – one model.

A society decides what it needs and wants from its citizens, and then it propels them in that direction – through advertising, movies, television, and cultural storytelling. In Western society’s eyes, a romantic relationship between two people ensures a particular societal structure, order, and organization. It helps keep the gears humming and moves things along smoothly.

There’s nothing wrong with that, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting a traditional romantic and/or sexual relationship. But one-person households are on the rise in the U.S., and being single is no longer considered a “flaw.” So if you’re looking for a relationship because you want a relationship, go get ‘em! But if you’re looking for a relationship because you think you should be in one, think twice about letting your socialization control your social life.

2. There are many types of “successful” relationships. “Till death do us part” has long been the defining force of relationship “success.” The problem with this is that in order to determine whether or not your relationship has been successful, one of you has to die.

A successful relationship is not necessarily one that lasts a lifetime – it is one that worked for the time you were in it, and one that you were able to take something away from, even if that “something” is a hard lesson learned. So if you’re bemoaning the fact that you’ve never had a “successful” relationship, take another look and redefine “success.”

It’s likely that many of your past relationships were successful. And it’s likely that any new ones will be, too – whether they last a lifetime, a few years, a few months, or a weekend. Did you have fun? Was the experience valuable? Voila – success!

3. Friendships are often stronger, and last longer, than romantic relationships. Think about how long you’ve known your best friend. Then think about how long your most recent relationship lasted. If you’re feeling lonely, find a friend. While it’s true that, in most cases, you will likely be giving up the physical and sexual aspects of a romantic relationship, that’s why they invented sex toys – and they last longer and cost less than a high-end dinner and drinks.

Where do you find these friends? In places that interest you. Join an online chat group or a face-to-face social or hobby group that you like – a writing group, a book-discussion group, a skiing group, a religious group. You are likely to make good friends who have similar interests – and it’s just possible that you will meet a romantic partner as well.

4. Don’t settle – no matter how lonely you are. As trans people, we can be rejected just because we’re trans. But that doesn’t mean that we have to settle for the first person who shows an interest – unless we happen to be genuinely interested, too. If you find yourself thinking, “I better jump on this. Who else will want me? Who else will have me?”, then move on – this isn’t the person for you.

You decide what kind of person you want to be with, and then go after that type of person. That doesn’t mean that you will get the person of your dreams – one reason we have fantasies is to make up for the disappointments of real life – but if you hike every day and love the outdoors, you probably don’t want someone who expects you to stay inside and watch movies all day. If you’re a vegetarian who can’t stand the sight or smell of meat, you don’t want Ronald McDonald.

Guess what? You get to be just as picky as anyone else. Then, when you find that special someone, it will have been worth the wait.

5. Don’t rule out other trans people. Although many others don’t agree with me, I have never considered someone who won’t date trans people as transphobic. Now, that person might be transphobic, but not simply by virtue of having certain dating preferences. However, if you’re active in the trans community and you’re ruling out the people who you spend most of your time with, you’re dismissing a lot of potential great mates.

If you don’t want to date other trans people because you prefer a certain body type or history or whatever, that’s your choice. But if you don’t want to date other trans people because you think that they are somehow “lesser” than non-trans people, then you’ve got some inner work to do. Do that, then go out and date whoever you want.

Will you find love in 2013? Who knows? The future’s not ours to see – but it is ours to create. So go out and create the best year possible for yourself. When you are happy with your life as it is, a relationship, if you want one, will be the gravy – not the meat and potatoes (or tofu). And no matter what happens, you will always have you.

Happy New Year!

This post originally appeared on Matt Kailey's award-winning website Tranifesto.com. Republished with permission.  

Stonewall Fitness: What’s at the Top of the Rope? Why Fitness Matters.

By David Smith

In school, a common fitness test was to climb to the top of the rope and you were measured on how high you could go. Many kids didn’t make it to the top, and many more would often question why climbing to the top important.

On September 11th during the evacuation of the twin towers, many people had to descend hundreds of flights of stairs in order to get out of the building. One of the biggest problems however was that a lot of the people simply weren’t physically conditioned for such a substantial effort and had to move at a slower pace. At the same time, firefighters and emergency personnel, in full gear would ascend those same stairs to expedite the evacuation.

With the majority of people working in an office, spending most of their time being sedentary in their daily lives the demand of descending hundreds of flight of stairs was simply too much. Having to take a slower pace and with a lot of rest, their chances making it out in time were significantly decreased. The firefighters were able to ascend and descend the stairs many times, even carrying people down who couldn’t make it themselves. These men and women are heroes and in that one crucial moment, their training and physical conditioning is what helped save lives.

Now we’ve all heard the usual reasons why we should go to the exercise (hypertension, diabetes, risk of heart attack etc.) but it’s like telling a smoker to quit because it causes cancer. During those crucial moments people’s physical fitness made a difference. It wasn’t about how you looked or your aesthetics, it was about how fit you were to do what you needed to.

There is no shortage of reasons why people in general need to exercise more, but for you as an individual it has to be personal.

You're Invited to a Party, a Psycho Beach Party!

By Mona Lott

“Come stoned to this show,” Krystal Jackson yells out as the cast enthusiastically discusses what makes Psycho Beach Party worth coming to and responds to my question about how to sell it. The answers leading up to that comic outburst were more practical, telling me that the show is a “great laugh” and full of wonderful characters and “gender bender fun.” Admittedly that’s enough to get this drag queen to buy a ticket, but as I got to chat more with the director Stephen Tangedal and his lively, charming cast I was impressed at just how many other reasons there are to go see this show when it opens at The Crossroads Theater on Thursday, July 9.

Psycho Beach Party is a play by Charles Busch that spoofs those Gidget-led movies of the 1960’s and then tosses in some Hitchcock type thrills on top. Chicklet as played by Anthony Adu in this production is the leader of this romp on the beach and sports a very blonde wig as if to say "Barbie has arrived!" Of course this Barbie has multiple personalities and issues that Gidget never had to face. Tangedal, with a wink, remarks that every one of the cast members was typecast in this show even though that remark was followed by several, “not me” utterances from the cast. Truth be told though, when I walked into the room and was asked by Adu, “What character do you think I’m playing?” I immediately answered, “I’m guessing Chicklet.” 

I can spot a drag performer from a mile away! 

I’m assuming anyone could spot Hektor Munoz who plays Chicklet’s mother, Mrs. Forrest. Munoz stands (and I’m guessing) at six feet five inches and is desperately trying to get his hands on a pair of women’s size 18 pumps! When asked about how the drag roles have influenced this show, the cast was quick to reply that it’s just like playing any other character. Adu made a point of explaining that he has tried to find the truth in the character and is playing her as a real woman and working at not just being a boy in drag.

I knew after that answer that this cast is not just having fun, but are truly putting a lot of heart into the show. It was easy to see that they have a love for the characters and for each other with an assortment of answers to the question of who they would like to play if they weren’t playing the character that they are cast as. In true “Show Girls” fashion Daniel Wheeler who plays Yo Yo pointed a rigid finger at Adu and blurted out how he wanted to play Chicklet and had previously auditioned for the role several times. I warned Wheeler not to take the stairs when Adu is around. Ironically, the only male member of the cast who has never tried drag, Todd Moore, who is cast as Star Cat, was at ease with the honesty of admitting that he would like to play Mrs. Forrest. With a list of characters as diverse as the actual cast of this show, I could imagine them all spinning a wheel to determine just who they would play each night and an audience that would come back every time to see the mix.

Tangedal previously directed this show over twenty years ago and in his cast then was Shelly Bordas. Bordas, as Tangedal fondly remembers, was a much-loved member of the Denver theater community who lost her battle with breast cancer last January. Bordas’ young son will benefit from two added performances on July 24th and 25th with proceeds going towards his college fund. When asked why he decided to direct this show again, Tangedal mentioned Bordas and stated that he thought it was time to laugh again and to just have fun. It was obvious that this show holds a special memory of Bordas for Tangedal and her presence is sure to be felt during these added performances.

The remaining performances benefit the The Denver Element a part of Mile High Behaviorial Healthcare. The Denver Element states on their webpage that, “Our work, while building community, is to reduce the transmission of HIV through education of the gay and bi men in Denver on HIV stigma, Status Disclosure and Intimacy.” 

Cast member Anthony Fay spoke very eloquently detailing all the added services that The Denver Element includes, like social events and assistance for gay men with drug habits. Fay is doing double duty in the show as the assistant director and the character, Provoloney and was quick to add to the discussion of why people should come to this show, “It’s only ten bucks!”
 
Considering all the people who will benefit from this campy delight and the sheer evening of summertime joy and laughter that Tangedal and his cast are sure to deliver, the reasonable price point is only a small part of why people should come to this show. A bigger part of why to see this show is the camp and fun of reliving those beach blanket romps and the over the top, bigger than life characters being played out in gender bender style and the opportunity to try and figure out the mystery of “whodunnit.” And it that doesn’t influence you, there is an Opening Night luau on Friday July 10th with food and the possibility of getting lei’d! 

Psycho Beach Party runs Thursday, Friday, Saturday at Crossroads Theatre, 2590 Washington Street July 9th through the 25th with a special Cast Benefit Night on Tuesday July 21st. Tickets can be purchased in advance at here or at the box office.

Stonewall Fitness: Maintaining Balance in Life as an Active Activist

Photo By Dustin Krier w/ PFLAG Denver

By Dirk Smith

Our society is on an ever-changing landscape, the political, social and cultural aspects are always at the forefront of discussion. Everybody has a cause and we are all passionate about changing the world for the better in the best way we know how, fighting for your cause is one of the most important things you can do. It is important to be passionate about it and give it your all to enact positive change on our society. Yet we can find ourselves so involved with our cause that it’s easy to forget about the most important thing in our world, ourselves.
​
Activism is stressful work, no doubt. It can take a serious toll on the mind and the body. If we are to truly have an impact on the world around us, it is most important that we are the most healthy and capable that we can be to take on the challenges and stress that come with activism. Here are a few ideas to help you be as ready as you can be to take on the world!

Maintain a Regular and Consistent Exercise Routine
Protest rallies and marches require a lot of time on your feet, holding up signs, marching for long distance and many can last for hours if not days. Regular exercise and training can help you build the endurance and stamina to march and rally your heart out without getting exhausted and sore. 
With all the emotion and passion that comes with activism, taking the time away to exercise can help you relieve the stress and release those emotions in a healthy and productive manner.
Drink Water!
Spending hours on your feet, marching, shouting and talking, often in the hot sun. Dehydration is common and can lead to heat exhaustion and potential heat stroke. Keep water with you in a camelback or bottle to stay hydrated throughout your rally. It will keep you hydrated, safe and moving forward.

Photo By Dustin Krier w/ PFLAG Denver

Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is defined as "the psychological process of bringing one's attention to the internal and external experiences occurring in the present moment.Using meditation techniques, one can practice and learn mindfulness and apply it both outside of activism as well as during activism. Having a clear head and focused on the moment can help you better stay in the zone and not to let the emotion and passion of the event overwhelm you. Once the event is over, leave it there. Don't take it with you. Take the time to focus on other interests in your life and focus on your task at hand. The activism will always be ready for you when you return, but taking the stress and emotion of it wherever you go will bleed into other areas of your life. It could affect everything from friendships, work, hobbies, and even other goals. It's great to have a passion and cause, but don't let it consume you and bring you down. Like Elsa sung... "Let it go!"
 BreatheTake the time to practice long, deep breathing. Not only is it a form of meditation that can help you practice mindfulness but it also is an easy and quick way to release tension and stress.When you find yourself feeling tense, anxious, stressed or any other emotion. Take a few big, deep breathes in and out. Recognize your current state of emotion and take a step back. A good technique is to inhale through your nose for 5 counts, hold it for 1-2 counts and then exhale for 8 counts through your mouth. Repeat this 4-5 times.

Let it Go
Outside of activism, pursue other interests and things in your life. Leave the passion and emotion you have at the march, rally or protest. When you are there, give it all you got and when it's over, leave it there. Your other interests and passions are just as important, so take the time to develop those as well and separate yourself from your cause until it is time to give it your all again. 
Don't read into comment threads on the internet. As someone once said "Arguing on the internet is like playing chess with a pigeon. No matter how good you are, its just going to knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut around like it won." As much as we might hope so, we are likely not going to change anybody's mind trying to argue on social media. So don't even try, instead channel your passion and effort into your causes and outlets where you can make a difference. Getting caught up in arguments only causes stress and anger but doesn't accomplish anything productive.

Remember, it's okay to walk away.


Stay Positive​
Lift each other up! As a community we must always be supportive each other. Extending a compliment, words of encouragement or even just a smile can accomplish a lot. It also will bring us even closer together. Unity is a powerful force. 

Remember there is always something positive out of every circumstance, no matter how dire. Pandora's box contained all the horrors and darkness in the world but remember what was hidden at the bottom? Hope! Seek the positive aspects out of every situation.
Always find an opportunity to grow and learn. We all face setbacks and defeats, but does that mean we should give up? No, it just means we are primed for an even bigger come back.

Activism can be quite stressful. There's a lot of shit happening in the world and it's easy to get discouraged. Remind yourself "Why". Why is this cause so important to you? You don't need to take on every cause in the world, just the one that is important to you. 

Go For a Walk
 
If you find yourself becoming overwhelmed or stressed out. Put a pause on everything your doing and take a walk. Even 15-20 minutes can help you release and disconnect so you can reset yourself and be ready to take on the next challenge. It's easier to face a challenge when you have a clear head. 

Activism is how we change the world, so to be the best activists we can be it is important that we practice techniques to help us maintain our health and enthusiasm. The world seems to be growing quite harsh, but maintaining a positive attitude and building our own self-confidence can not only help us become better activists but allow our activism to have an even bigger impact.

MileHighGaymer: Persona 4 Golden - Playstation Vita - Atlus

By Jason Anderson, edited by Greg Dinkelman
 
Welcome, LGBT Gaming Fans, to Mile High Gaymer where I'll be bringing you the best in games that you should (or maybe you shouldn’t) be playing. I’m your host Jason Anderson and let’s get started on this High School Murder Mystery that is Persona 4 Golden.

A remake of their classic game for the PS2, Persona 4 Golden or P4G is almost everything that Atlus could put in that the crowds called out for. The game itself was already popular with it’s own anime (currently on Hulu) and a kick ass soundtrack, but with these new add-ons and changes it turns the game from an obscure hit to a must-have RPG.

The game starts as the player is sent to Inaba to stay with relatives since his parents are working abroad. On the train ride over he dreams of the Velvet Room and meets with the otherworldly Igor and his assistant Margaret which leads him on an adventure that will affect both Inaba and the rest of the world.

“Is that a bear?” - Chie Satonaka

Story
The story starts off simple enough, you’re thrust into a mystery and you gotta solve it, but it’s so much more than that. The game separates into two parts. Dungeon Crawl and School Day Visual Novel. We’ll get into the dungeon crawling aspect later on.

From your first day in Inaba you are subjected to school life, you go to classes and have club activities. As time goes on you’ll begin to interact with more characters and npcs opening up jobs and other after school activities to go to. The game constantly calls for you to make connections with other characters, and once you create these Social Links or S.Links your power, as well as your teammates, grows in battle as well making the dungeon crawling a lot easier for the player and providing boosts to your Persona.

If a player goes through, just dungeon grinding away, they’ll find out early on that not pursuing these S.Links can be stagnating to the game process as a whole and take away from a good chunk of the entertainment value. Each S.Link has it’s own individual storyline and it’s your job as the protagonist to connect with these different people.

The Gay Vegans: Social media for your cause

By Dan Hanley

Wikipedia's definition of social media: Social media includes web-based and mobile technologies used to turn communication into interactive dialogue.

Before I even begin with this post I must let you know that I am in no way a pro at social media. I have a basic understanding of it and have used it for many purposes including my day job (as a professional fundraiser) and promoting causes and groups that are near and dear to me.

Social media enables you to make your world larger than it is. From wherever you are. It has enabled me to create this blog and build bridges with communities of people all over the world, some who agree with my posts and some that don't. It allows me to connect with other activists, other vegans, other fundraisers, other passionate people, most of whom I would have never been able to connect with.

It's easy to start. If you have a Facebook page you can create a page that is all about your group or cause. I have a page for The Gay Vegans Cruelty Free World and for Coloradans for Marriage Equality. They each serve a different purpose but many times I will post one of my blog posts on both pages. Facebook pages include very large animal rights or human rights groups as well as very small shelters around the country. Some groups are for a specific area and others for anyone who is interested in their cause.

And it's certainly not just about Facebook. There are a ton of ways to engage with social media and I'll cover other ways later.

Engage the world and check it out. I realize many of you reading this might already use social media a lot, yet for those who don't I highly recommend.

More to come, including our experience on Twitter (we love it) and learning about new social media opportunities (like Pinterest, which we just started).

Thanks for reading!

This post originally appeared on Dan Hanley's website The Gay Vegans. Republished with permission.

To Dog Park or Not to Dog Park: That is the question.

Dog parks can be a polarizing topic both for dog owners and among dog professionals. With the Denver-metro area being such a dog-friendly city, dog parks are part of the day-to-day for many people. Let’s get down to it – are dog parks great? Are they bad news? Are they good for every dog?

It’s important to recognize that dogs are active, social creatures who love to run. Playtime with other dogs can be a wonderful outlet for them. This means, for the right dogs, dog parks can be a fantastic way to:

• keep their social skills fine-tuned
• their bodies well-exercised
• their minds enriched 

This is especially true in a busy metropolis where many dogs live in apartments without the luxury of a large, securely fenced-in yard. For some dogs though, they’re an absolute nightmare!

  So how do you know if your dog is dog-park appropriate?

1. Your dog should be physically healthy and up-to-date on all vaccinations, including Bordetella (kennel cough).
2. Your dog should have good play or social skills – watch closely for play invitations, role reversals, and natural pauses. Also, monitor if your dog reacts well to being told “no" by their playmate. Dogs will correct each other for rude or annoying behavior, and it is important your dog can take the hint without escalating into a scuffle.
3. As dogs get older, many of them become less tolerant of rude behavior and become choosier about their buddies. You may even notice an overall decline in the desire to play as your dog matures.

  There are also some dogs who may be able to become dog-park dogs with a bit of work! These dogs include dogs who may not seem to know how to play, seem awkward, or sometimes escalate play into scuffles (so long as no one is getting hurt!). If your dog falls into this category, consider working with a force/fear-free trainer who specializes in dog-dog dynamics.

  There are some dogs who just shouldn’t go to dog parks. They include dogs who are very fearful or nervous around other dogs – overwhelming them with lots of dogs all at once can make their fear more intense or may cause them to escalate into a fight or flight response. Instead, work with a professional fear/force-free trainer to get them more comfortable and work through their fears. These pups may never be dog-park aficionados, but they might grow to have a small circle of friends and be able to engage in play, either with a small group or one-on-one.

  Dogs who have a history of injuring other dogs during fights or scuffles, even if those scuffles are rare, should not attend parks.  These dogs are likely to bite with the same force again - which is not a fair risk to another family’s dog. Dogs who are aggressive, assertive, or always escalating into scuffles should not attend dog parks.

  When you are at the park, pay attention to what is going on and don’t be afraid to leave if you see an inappropriate dog at the park. Listen to your dog! Not all dogs enjoy the company of other dogs, and it’s unfair to force them into uncomfortable situations just for the sake of “socialization.”

Your pooch probably prefers the company of you over other canines if they are:

• frequently tense
• retreating from other dogs
• always telling them off when they get close 

And that’s OK! Not all of us are social butterflies. 

Lastly, take ownership of your own dog – if they are frequently the problem child, maybe it’s time to mark “dog parks” off the list of recreational activities. With the help of a professional, however, you may be able to get your dog’s social skills back on track.
Here is more info on all of Denver's amazing dog parks!

It's like the Roxanne wars all over again - Jen Foster answers Katie Perry's 'I Kissed a Girl'

Jen Foster, an award-winning singer/songwriter who is also an out lesbian, is making waves with her new single “I Didn’t Just Kiss Her.” Just days after it was posted online, the song has already been played more than 20,000 times, and has been featured on radio station playlists around the country.

“I had no idea it would take off like this,” says Foster, who wrote the song as a witty, sexually-charged, tongue-in-cheek response to Katy Perry’s wildly popular “I Kissed A Girl” released last year. “It just seemed like there was probably more to it, you know? I thought this would be a good way to tell the other side of the story.”

While Perry’s “I Kissed A Girl” has been a hit on the pop charts, there has been some backlash within both the gay community and the alternative press against its perceived homophobia. Some commentators have noted Perry’s song reinforces the notion that there’s something wrong with two girls kissing, by saying it’s “not what, good girls do // not how they should behave.”

In “I Didn’t Just Kiss Her,” Foster sings, “I didn't just kiss her // We went all the way and she liked it // She likes to think she didn't invite it // But these scratches aren't because she tried to fight it.” When asked, Foster admits the lyrics are slightly more risqué than her usual fare, but adds “it felt right, and I went with it.”

Foster’s enthusiastic fans are using popular social media tools like Twitter, Facebook and MySpace to feverishly spread the world about the new song. “There’s a club remix in the works, and we’re already starting to plan the video,” says Foster. “It’s all happening so fast, but I’m loving every minute of it.”

ARIANA GRANDE & KID CUDI RELEASE “JUST LOOK UP” FROM STAR-STUDDED NETFLIX COMEDY DON’T LOOK UP

Republic Records has announced a December 10th release for Don’t Look Up (Soundtrack From the Netflix Film), available for pre-order HERE.
 
The soundtrack includes the brand-new track, “Just Look Up” featuring Ariana Grande and Kid Cudi, who star in the film—and perform the song—as pop music power couple Riley Bina and DJ Chello.
 
“Just Look Up” was co-written by Ariana Grande, Kid Cudi, 2-time Academy Award-nominated / Emmy winning composer Nicholas Britell and Oscar nominated songwriter Taura Stinson. 
 
Britell (Moonlight, If Beale Street Could Talk, Succession) also produced the soundtrack, composed the score and co-wrote “Second Nature.” 
 
The latter is a brand-new track from 2-time Grammy winners Bon Iver, which Bon Iver’s Justin Vernon penned with Britell.
 
Both the film’s score and “Just Look Up” were recently recognized by the Hollywood Music In Media Awards with a Best Original Score win for Nicholas Britell and a Best Original Song nod for “Just Look Up.” 
 
"It was a privilege to collaborate with Ariana Grande, Kid Cudi, and Taura Stinson on our song ‘Just Look Up,’ a love song that transforms into a rallying cry, as well as with Justin Vernon on Bon Iver’s original song ‘Second Nature,’” says Britell. “My score runs the gamut from absurdist big band jazz to profound, deeply felt orchestral music. Many of the projects that I've worked on with Adam McKay are, in their own way, explorations of tone as a central topic—they're all a unique blend of gravitas and absurdity with Don't Look Up capturing a sense of ever-increasing astonishment at how crazy things really are."
 
Written and directed by Academy Award winner Adam McKay (The Big Short, Vice), DON’T LOOK UP follows Kate Dibiasky (Jennifer Lawrence) and  Dr. Randall Mindy (Leonardo DiCaprio), two low-level astronomers who make an astounding discovery of a comet orbiting within the solar system. The problem — it’s on a direct collision course with Earth. The other problem? No one really seems to care. Turns out warning mankind about a planet-killer the size of Mount Everest is an inconvenient fact to navigate. With the help of Dr. Oglethorpe (Rob Morgan), Kate and Randall embark on a media tour that takes them from the office of an  indifferent  President Orlean (Meryl Streep) and her sycophantic son and Chief of Staff, Jason (Jonah Hill), to the airwaves of The Daily Rip, an upbeat morning show hosted by Brie (Cate Blanchett) and Jack (Tyler Perry). With only six months until the comet makes impact, managing the 24-hour news cycle and gaining the attention of the social media obsessed public before it’s too late proves shockingly comical — what will it take to get the world to just look up?!
 
DON’T LOOK UP also stars Mark Rylance, Ron Perlman, Timothée Chalamet, Ariana Grande, Scott Mescudi (aka Kid Cudi), Himesh Patel, Melanie Lynskey, Michael Chiklis and Tomer Sisley and releases in select theaters on December 10th and on Netflix December 24th.

Stonewall Fitness: Where Does the Fat Go?

Food is fuel... literally.

By David Smith Fat loss is one of the most common goals in exercise and fitness. Every day on social media and out in the world you will see people bragging about losing weight, articles and articles giving you the latest “quickest way to weight loss” tips. So we all want to shed the pounds and lose the fat right? So where does the fat go? Well, just like Felicia, it’s going places; but not where you might expect.

The majority of fat and general calories/ energy you burn is expelled as CO2 through your breath. Every time you exhale in fact. In the past it was a common thought that the energy you burned was converted to heat, sweat or some other factor but nobody really knew for sure. A couple of scientists named Meermen and Brown wanted to find out, they performed a study designed to break down exactly what happens to a fat molecule; how it’s broken down and where it all goes during exercise.
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As the study reports, 84% of energy expenditure is through the lungs, 16% through water. The lungs conveniently is also where energy production begins (through the inhalation of oxygen). To simplify things a bit for us all, all living animals need oxygen in some form or another to survive. This is because oxygen is a crucial component toward energy production. Your body utilizes oxygen to break down fat, carb and protein molecules to formulate Adenosine Triposphate (ATP) which is the source of raw energy the body uses to function. Your body is doing this all throughout the day and night, utilizing fat as it’s primary source of energy to maintain daily functions (walking, breathing, pooping, eating, etc.). This process is called Aerobic Oxidation and it is the same system you might use during long, endurance cardio (running a marathon, triathlon etc.). During endurance exercise, the Aerobic Oxidation goes into a zone known as “steady state” which is when the body consumes the amount of oxygen necessary to sustain that intensity level for a seemingly infinite amount of time (depending of course on your fitness level).

Carbohydrates are a more potent energy source the body keeps on reserve when the body needs a lot of energy in a quick moment (sprinting, lifting, even standing up). This is known as glycolysis and the body typically stores glycogen (carbohydrates) in muscle and liver tissue for quick access when needed.

A third energy system which is even faster in response than Glycolysis stores ATP molecules directly for immediate use, this is known as the Phosphagen System.
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When you start any kind of formal exercise activity, all 3 energy systems activate together, however only one system is the dominant energy source at any given moment while the other two continue to operate in the background. 0-30 seconds is the Phosphagen system (high intensity exercise), 30 seconds – 2 minutes is Glycolysis (moderate to high intensity exercise) and anything over 2 minutes is primarily Aerobic Oxidation (low to moderate intensity exercise). The only system that utilizes oxygen directly is Aerobic Oxidation. While it can get a bit technical, the Aerobic Oxidation system creates ATP from two different sources, fat and glycogen (carbs). Piggy backing off of Glycolysis it utilizes oxygen to take up Hydrogen atoms from the Electron Transport Chain and it turns into H2O (water). When these molecules are exchanged, the resulting effect is what creates ATP, the energy source of the body. This process is known as Oxidative Phosphorylation (spelled right on the first try!) 

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Nom nom nom

Both Glycogen and Fat prior to entering the Electron Transport Chain must go through the Kreb’s Cycle (cue dramatic gameshow music) which breaks down the molecules to their basic elements through a series of chemical reactions which then enters the Electron Transport Chain to generate ATP.
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So you might be wondering, during short, intense bursts of exercises only lasting a couple of seconds… why are you breathing so hard? Such as running up a flight of stairs, power lifting, etc. During those intense bursts, you are utilizing either the Phosphagen system and/or Glycolysis which don’t utilize oxygen to generate ATP. However, Aerobic Oxidation is still occurring in the background and immediately following the activity starts to ramp up production not only to continue producing energy should the activity continue, but to restore and replenish the reserves you just utilized. This is known as Excessive Post Oxygen Consumption. It can last anywhere from a few minutes to several hours following intense exercise (depending on how long and how hard you were working). You can train this process to become quicker and more efficient as you train and subsequently become stronger and fitter in your selected task. 

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Which finally brings us back to our original question. Where does the fat go? 

A VO2 Max Test is an accurate indicator for measuring how much energy is expended

It’s expelled primary as CO2 remember? A fat molecule is better known as a Triglyceride which consists of three basic elements, Carbon, Hydrogen and Oxygen. During the Kreb’s Cycle, the triglyceride is broken into it’s 3 basic elements. The Hydrogen molecule, as explained before is sent through the Electron Transport Chain and attached to a separate set of Oxygen molecules (the Oxygen we inhale, remember?) where it creates ATP. So what’s left of the triglyceride? Carbon and Oxygen which becomes CO2. This is the CO2 that we exhale, not just during exercise but during every living moment of our lives. Also remember the Hydrogen atoms that combine with the Oxygen we inhale and turns into water? That water is utilized and eventually excreted by in a variety of ways (blood, sweat, urine, tears, etc.)

Don’t be fooled though, you can’t burn more fat simply by breathing hard, sadly it doesn’t work like that. Remember it’s all about increasing the demand for energy production! Therefore to burn more fat and lose more weight, you will need to expend more energy through daily exercise and physical activity. In addition, keeping more control on how many calories you consume (fat, carbs, proteins, alcohol) to keep you from consuming and storing more energy than you are subsequently utilizing.
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Scientifically speaking, the best way to enact long term, healthy weight loss is a combination of increased exercise and physical activity coupled with healthy eating habits and moderation. You can burn calories through aerobic fitness (cardio) and strength training effectively to enhance weight loss. So get to work!

Tranifesto: My Brother Won’t Acknowledge Me as Male

By Matt Kailey
A reader writes: “I transitioned more than three years ago. I got my new legal name and gender, surgeries, and social acceptance. I’m very happy with my new identity and life. Even though it was hard at first, my mom and my sisters eventually came around and are loving and supportive towards me.

“But my brother is not. He still uses my old name and the female pronoun when talking about me. Mind you, he doesn’t do this in front of me. I talked to him and explained the situation when I started my transition. He seemed supportive at first. But now, it’s as though I don’t exist and he still clings to who I used to be.

“I feel hurt, and I’ve explained this to him, gently, then more firmly. But he hasn’t changed. His wife and kids accept me as I am. He does not. This makes family events at best awkward for me, as he does not call me by my name, nor hug me, nor look directly at me. If my mom wasn’t around, I actually doubt that I’d keep in touch with him, as I feel utterly detached from him now. Do you think I should try to reach out to him one more time? Is it worth it?”

I think it’s always worth it to reach out one more time. And then I think that it is also worth it to let certain people go.

Nice To See StevieB: Pride

By StevieB

Pride Fest came and went. There comes a time where you can fall into a feeling where you just believe that pride festivals are for the youngins. Yes, I remember my first pride. I can tell you all the pride events after that, and how much sun block and alcohol was consumed. But, after your twenty-eighth pride you can lose the since of triumph that comes along with being able to stand in the sun and declare your true self to the world. Just so you know, you should not do that. Forget that it is a luxury.

The most fun about watching the pride parade is whom you watch it with. The BFs friends are in their twenties and early thirties. Some had just discovered the joy of pride day. Seeing a gay parade through these eyes helps to reconnect. A young lesbian kept turning to me during the procession of floats and asking questions… “What is a… Imperial Court of the Rocky Mountain Empire?” I raised an eyebrow to think that one through. What is court? Even though it’s been around long before my time, and even had attended events back in the 1990s. “It’s… like a Shriners group… a social club for drag queens. Before they were allowed in public and into the bars. Drag queens had a social club to meet, where they would be safe.” Whoo. I thought I explained that one pretty well. “Safe from what?” She asked. This twenty-something lesbian lives in a world were Denver is a safe, embracing city.

This realization of time passing was of course countered by me sharing a story of how one pride I was tripping my balls on ecstasy so hard I just wandered the full parade route in just my Calvin’s and was met by side-eye and questions if X was a thing so far back and if Calvin Klein was alive back then. 

Do not; I repeat, do not forget why we as a tribe have pride events. And, do not think that it is no big deal. It is a huge deal. To be able to stand in the sun and declare yourself to the world.

The Black Eye Ball: DJ Brent interviews DJ Jens Irish

Resident DJ Jens Irish brings Black Eye Ball - The Naughty List to The Compound for the first time this Saturday, December 17. It's got everything you want. Spankings from Santa. Free shots (if you have a black eye), sexy go-go dancers (with black eyes), and $4 Svedka Vodka drink specials. And joining the fun will be special guest, DJ Brent. 

DJ Brent - Ho, ho, ho?

DJ Brent: For people who have never been to a Black Eye Ball, what can they expect on Saturday night?

DJ Jens: Our basic goal is to make the Black Eye Ball a different experience from what you would typically encounter at a gay club in Denver on your average Saturday night. Jerrod Wilkins - the other promoter - and I are both slightly off-kilter, so we tend to get into things like somewhat ridiculous, tongue-(firmly planted)-in-cheek themes, coordinating costumes with the Ball patrons (a lot of our attendees come with pre-party make-upped black eyes, for example, which is pretty fantastic) … stuff like that. We also try to cater towards a more diversified crowd with the parties. A lot of events in the gay scene end up being primarily bears, or twinks, or some other sub-culture. At the Black Eye Ball we get a pretty diversified crowd … bears, twinks, leather/gear enthusiasts, club kids, etc., and definitely encourage anybody and everybody to attend. It makes the party itself more interesting.

DJ Jens Irish - Naughty never looked so nice

On the music side, I tend to steer clear of tracks that you’d typically hear at a gay club. I don’t have any qualms with mainstream/circuit music or what other gay DJs are playing by any means, but I do want people to hear music at the Black Eye Ball that they won’t hear at other gay events in Denver. From the beginning we’ve built the Black Eye Ball to be a space where the homos can go to a gay party - as opposed to a straight club, for example - and not necessarily have to hear the same music that’s pretty much ubiquitous in gay clubs. That said, when we have guest DJs, we don’t impose any sort of genre constraints on what they play …t he “different music” spiel is just a personal preference. But we do encourage them to stretch their usual boundaries a bit.

So yeah, I guess newcomers on Saturday can (hopefully) expect a different experience from the norm (read: naughty).

This is the first time the Black Eye Ball is being held at The Compound, what do you think the new space will bring to the party?

I’m really psyched about moving the party to the Compound. They’re definitely more amenable to what we’re trying to accomplish with the Black Eye Ball, being an actual club with a solid, dedicated sound system, as opposed to primarily a bar that occasionally throws music-oriented parties. And they’re excited to work with us, which is pretty damn nice. If these initial parties go well, there are definitely plans in the works to expand the BEB in a big way (*wink*), with their support.

The Eagle was (is) a fantastic, unique space, and I’ll miss having them host the parties, but there were issues that just – after almost 2 ½ years, a solid run – ended up killing the possibility of continuing there.

DJ Booth at The Compound

You have a regular Wednesday night at the Compound - Altered Wednesday Social - do you take a different approach when spinning for The Black Eye Ball? If so, what is it?

Well, Altered Wednesday Social is definitely more low key than The Black Eye Ball. The way I view it, it’s a Wednesday, middle of the week, and people aren’t looking to go crazy, or hear peak-hour dance music while they’re getting a casual drink with friends – which is what most people are doing when they come to the night. I try and make the music interesting, funk-tastic, danceable if you want, but also the kind where you can just bob your head along and enjoy it without feeling the need to throw your shirt in the corner and find the nearest sub-woofer. It gets more energetic as the night progresses and people start dancing, but it’s usually dependent on whether the latter is happening or not.

With the BEB – especially at The Compound – the party is (going to be) fundamentally geared towards dancing, and being more energetic. But there’s overlap between what I play at the two shows. I’d say along a spectrum of the evening, what I’d play the first hour or two at the BEB is about as energetic as I tend to go at AWS. I would say I play darker at the BEB, as well, but I’ve actually taken a different route over the past year or two. The BEB used to be all darker techno stuff, but I’m not really playing that anymore. Kinda grew out of it.

The most famous reindeer of all

What and who in the music scene have been grabbing your attention lately?

I’m in love with the whole Disco/90’s Miami House revival sound that’s taken over the last 1 ½ years or so. Like I said earlier, I used to be all about 126-128 BPM, dark, after hours techno, no vocals whatsoever. Something you’d only hear after 3am in a basement somewhere (and I’ll still play that when it’s appropriate). But all of a sudden, some of my favorite techno producers and record labels started putting out these 110-118 BPM tracks saturated with diva-esque vocal snippets and warm piano stabs, with a lot of classic electro/breakbeat rhythm structures on top of the typical 4/4 throbbing House beats, and it was a total sea change. I think Seth Troxler – who’s an amazing producer – said it best when he called the whole movement “underground pop,” which is totally contradictory, but suitable in a vague sense.

In terms of individual producers and record labels, there are so many of ‘em producing great music right now. I usually track labels over individual artists, since most labels tend to focus on a specific sound, then gather like-minded artists around it, so if you find a label with a specific style/sound you like, you’ll discover a bunch of artists along that vein you might have otherwise overlooked. Right now labels like Hot Creations/Hot Waves, Crosstown Rebels, Pets Recordings, This is Music – More Music, Visionquest, The Exquisite Pain, Needwant, Leftroom Records, etc., can do no wrong.

Who is your favorite musical guilty pleasure?

I don’t know! I don’t really feel guilty about too much of anything I listen to. I guess I used to be a raging hippie, and still listen to things like Grateful Dead, Phish, Jefferson Airplane, etc, quite a bit, which shouldn’t be mentioned in certain circles. And Antony & The Johnsons makes me cry (heavily) and wish I had butterfly wings. Does that count?

If you had to pick a character from The Venture Bros. who's most like you, who would it be?

Best question ever! I’d have to go for early Henchman 21, before his muscle-daddy transformation. He’s a total dork, randomly obsessive, develops crushes then never acts on them – or acts stupidly – out of general social incompetence, constantly needs other, more competent people to bail him out of jams brought about by his own devices. He’s also loyal, good-hearted, and hilarious. And I’m hilar-balls.

So, this is my second gig and I'm very excited but also very nervous. Any great wisdom you can give me?

Play the music that gets you excited, and especially in the moment! The hardest thing I learned about DJing live, is if you fret too much about playing a set that absolutely everyone will like, or strictly adhering to some pre-defined notion of how the set should proceed, you’re not only going to fail (people are fickle, and every set throws a curve-ball), you’re going to end up stressing yourself out, play poorly, and won’t have a good time. And having a good time, getting happily engrossed in what you’re doing, is the key to playing a great set. If the DJ is having a good time, it shows in the music, and the crowd will have a good time. Well, maybe not the entire crowd, but you can’t win ‘em all over, so don’t expend too much energy trying to. And you should be having more fun than the fussers n’ trainspotters, anyway.

Also: slip-ups, beats drifting during transitions, cool ideas not working out the way you had planned them, etc, things that seem like a mortifyingly big deal to you when you’re DJing, it’s mostly in your head, and nine times out of 10 the audience doesn’t even notice – or realize something went wrong – and when they do notice they usually don’t care. So don’t fret about making mistakes, or mistakes made.

Learn to forgive yourself when things don’t go exactly as planned, and just focus on having a good time!