The Kathy Griffin interview posted below reminded me how much fun I had the last time I interviewed her. Of all the celebrities I've ever interviewed, she not only the funniest, she's the one most like her onscreen persona. What you see on 'My Life on the D-List' is no act, she's really like that. She gave me relationship advice and invited me to hang out backstage with her after her show at Comedy Works. I'll dig up some of those pictures and post them up for your enjoyment ASAP.
Meanwhile, check out some excerpts from the last time I interviewed Kathy Griffin after the jump (beware of some pretty sassy language).
Drew: Hi, I was thinking I’d have to go through a bunch of lackeys to get to you but here you are, answering your own phone.
Kathy: It’s true, I do answer my own phone, but don’t let it get out, Drew, I want the gay community to think I have a coterie of assistants feeding me grapes and living in fear that I’m going to have one of my infamous fits.
Drew: Are you a big fit-thrower? What constitutes a fit for you?
Kathy: You know what? I don’t really have fits but I have a fantasy of having fits. I want to be yelling at my team and I want to be firing people constantly and I want to be high on drugs and sobbing and making my assistants tell me I still look pretty. I want to have a lot of breakdowns.
Kathy: Are you in a relationship?
Drew: I am recently out of an eight-year relationship.
Kathy: Why? What was the cause?
Drew: Take one guess, Kathy!
Kathy: He cheated! Ok, can we just be honest for a second? I have a theory and I want my gays to own up to something. Cheating hurts! Guys say ‘Kathy you don’t get it, men can have sex and not care’ and I understand that but when you’re cheating it hurts the person you’re supposed to care about and there’s no way around that. You have my back on that right, Drew? But we’re the cheese stands alone.
Did you see George Michael on Oprah? I’m a huge fan of his and he’s very out now which is great and he goes on Oprah with his boyfriend and it’s all about Kenny, Kenny, Kenny, but of course all Oprah wants to talk about is the arrest. Oprah is really working my fucking nerves lately. That arrest was like how many years ago? And god bless him, he sang Faith and Father Figure. I mean, he gave up the hits! He was the perfect guest but anyway Oprah wanted to know what Kenny thought about the arrest and George was like ‘well, Kenny knows what I do and he’s cool with it,’ and the whole time I was thinking ‘fuck you! Kenny’s not so fucking cool with it!’ And they showed their home in England and of course it’s beautiful and I’m not saying Kenny doesn’t get his but at the end of the day, when the lights are out, Kenny is crying some soft tears into his pillow. A pillow with a very high thread count, by the way.
Kathy: Have you ever been on a gay cruise?
Drew: No, but I went on a straight cruise once.
Kathy: What? Yuck! Not only will this be my fourth gay cruise, it will be my husband’s fourth gay cruise. I swear, my darling, loving, victim husband knows more about daisy chains. Hey, all gay cruise s have ice sculpture classes and what does everybody sculpt Drew?
Drew: Um…
Kathy: Right! A five-foot cock and balls! By this time Matt’s just like ‘I hope they made the balls big this time or they’ll be melted by the time we get there.’ It’s like a show within a show if they’d just follow Matt around the cruise! We even went to a gay nude beach the last time.
Kathy: Do you know what they call the hot tub on a gay cruise? This is not a joke, this is literally what they call it… egg drop soup.
Drew: Wow, I’m gay and that even made me a little sick.
Kathy: Did that hurt your gay feelings? Good, I topped myself today! What kills me is that my straight friends, they think they party and I’m like ‘oh, no, a gay cruise is a whole new level!’ I mean these guys are serious. Just reeking, with mascara on their cheeks. It’s crazy.
But seriously, you are delightful to talk to. If you come to the show will you come say hi after? I just feel like we have so much to discuss!
