MHGG's Worst of Denver: Natural Grocers by Vitamin Cottage

'Westword's' Best Of issue is out now with the scoop on all that is right and good with Denver.

However, it got me thinking - Denver's got some bad stuff too.

And one of the worst things in Denver is right there in the video above. Watch for yourself.

I'm not talking about the store itself.

The store is fine. I've shopped there once or twice.

What makes Vitamin Cottage - or Natural Grocers by Vitamin Cottage, whatever that's supposed to mean - Colorado's Worst is the series of pathetically wretched commercials they run.

I'm not gonna get down on their spokeswoman for obviously not being a professional actress or anything like that. Not everybody is good in front of a camera.

Maybe they wanted a relatable everywoman or maybe she's the owner of the company or something. Whatever. It's not working.

What bothers me so much about her is her intonation, cadence, and pronunciation.

Has this woman never even heard English spoken before?

If she learned her lines phonetically it still shouldn't be this bad.

She pauses when she shouldn't and doesn't when she should. It's a freakin' train wreck.

I'm told that "grow-shers" for "grocers" is an acceptable pronunciation in Colorado but the sound of it just makes my testicles crawl. Say "grow-cers." And she says "cot-eege" for "cottage." Why?

Worst of all is they play this crap nonstop on Saturday mornings when I'm trying to watch my "DeGrassi: The Next Generation" marathons.

The sad part is that they've been running these commercials for at least a couple of years now and she never gets any better.

Definitely ranks among the Worst of Denver.