By David SmithMy freshman year of high school I had an encounter with a senior I will never forget. I had joined the marching band that summer and spent the first of 4 summers training and practicing as a member of marching band. As the school year went underway we were preparing for our first band competition. I was excited and as a freshman, perhaps a bit naive but for the first time in my life I really felt like I was apart of something, however that didn’t last very long.
As we were warming up and preparing our equipment for the competition, one of the more popular upper classman had randomly come up to me and casually said, “The world would be better off if you had just killed yourself.” I was left stunned. I wasn’t depressed or in any kind of negative mindset. I was just your over enthusiastic, high school freshman kid excited to be at my first ever band competition. Inevitably I broke down crying and couldn’t understand how someone could be such a bully and say something so mean. Especially someone I never really talked to or even knew.
There I was in my band uniform, by my instrument, sitting down and crying, to the notice of some of the parents and even our director who came up to comfort me. By that point my enthusiasm and focus for the competition was gone. Later on, under pressure he had come up and apologized to me. I accepted it and moved on, regaining my focus for our show and forgetting that it had happened. Except that I didn’t and for the rest of the time I was in band with this individual I never really talked to him or went out of my way to interact with him. I didn’t care anymore and perhaps that even set the stage for the rest of my 4-year marching band career in high school.
That incident was so long ago and I ask myself, why does it matter now? I was most certainly a naive kid then and maybe I am now. I’ve always felt socially awkward and really struggled to find my place fitting in. I never had any problem standing out however, and not always in a good way.
I’ve made no secret of my goal to one day compete at the Olympic Games. Is it a long shot? Sure, but I one thing is certain is that I am not afraid to try. I have encountered my fair share of bullies and in general people that would just pass me off as irrelevant because I didn’t matter in their grand scheme of the social status. I most certainly felt rejected but it had never stopped me from achieving what I set out to do and just as quickly as I was rejected, I found my place in a community I really did belong.
Motivation comes from many places and for me one place I draw motivation from is those bullies and irrelevant people. I don’t have anything to prove to anybody, but I do see myself as being able to rise above these people and showing the world that I do matter, I belong and most importantly that the world would not be better off if I were dead.
#FitwithPRIDE David Smith is an exercise professional, athlete, blogger and owner of Stonewall Fitness. He is a certified personal trainer and holds a Bachelor's degree in Exercise Science and Nutrition. He is an active athlete and Gay Games medalist training and competing in triathlon and swimming. He is passionate about bringing the LGBT community together through exercise and fitness. Help support David with his athletic endeavors! Visit www.gofundme.com/bttrflyr and Read more here..
