By Drew Wilson
Before there was Book of Mormon, there was Confessions of a Mormon Boy – Steven Fales’ autobiographical play about a good Mormon boy
gone bad as an escort in New York City.
I had the chance to speak to Steven about his upcoming run
at Denver’s Dangerous Theatre (March 29-April 1) and talk about family, religion
and spirituality in addition to sex, drugs and Tyra Banks! Part one of our conversation was published yesterday. And here's part two!
What’s the message?
You mentioned
reparative therapy earlier. Did you go through it?
I did it with the biggest names in the business Joseph
Nicolosi who wrote the book Reparative Therapy of male homosexuality and he’s
the president of the national association of research and therapy of
homosexuality. I did therapy with him and Joe consiglio one of the founders of
exodus. And I was part of evergreen international. If I was going to come out
of the closet I wanted to think there was some science to it. If it could be
scientifically done, I was willing to look into it. On certain levels, I made a
very deliberate examination of what was going on. I didn’t want to lose my wife
and kids but the therapy made me feel isolated and self-loathing. And the
attraction became more intense, not less ,and ultimately I had to face the
truth.
I was actually on The Tyra Banks show episode about reparative
therapy. I did so many wacky things trying to be straight.
Is there a connection
with people who undergo reparative therapy and then come out as so visibly gay?
Are you saying there’s some kind of narcissm going on? There
are two things, I think. People who do reparative therapy often do it because
they want to please people and society and they don’t want to take the risks of
coming out. They fear being excommunicated or losing the things they have. It’s
a little bit selfish. The other side of it is that I think they are truth
seekers and they really want to know and risk this exploration. It’s not a
popular thing to do. Once they take that risk and learn that it is not for them
- that our sexual orientation is not sexual addiction or sexual disorder or bad
or wrong, it can be a very spiritual and expansive and emotional thing.
I didn’t used to think it was possible but I’ve had
boyfriends now where the sex is equally as beautiful as any I ever had with my wife.
And I tell you, sex with intimacy blows crystal meth sex away any day.
So, when they find out the truth they want to let everyone
know and they want to make a difference. As a good Mormon boy I was taught to
want to make a difference. So if we can forgive these guys for the little show
ponies they have inside them and really listen to what they have to say … these
guys are warriors coming back from the trenches and they have a message …
What’s the message?
I’ll tell you what my message is - not only is it ok to be
gay, but we are not our past. The end. The most political thing I can do as a
gay man is to reclaim my spiritual life.
Do you think many gay
men are divorced from their spiritual lives?
When we buy into what we’re told that God doesn’t love us or
that we are not worthy, what do we fill ourselves with? I found there was
somewhat of a spiritual feeling I could have on drugs at 7am on the dance floor.
But it wears off and those people leave. So I think we are having a crisis
because so many of us have been spiritually abused in our churches and it
prevents us from getting into recovery and it prevents us from having stable
relationships. I think the battle for equality is taking place right now in the
churches of America and we are conspicuously missing from that battle.
Are you sober now?
I’ve been in recovery since 2003, a few slips along the way
but doing well. It’s for the best. You don’t want to see me do this show high! I’d
just stare into the lights … so pretty and bright!
What’s the strangest
thing that ever happened to you during your escorting days?
Wait until you see the scene with my first escort on stage,
the Japanese lizard. You’ll laugh your ass off. I did the show in London’s West
End last summer and they would not stop laughing at the Japanese lizard so I
think you’ll like him.
I’ve heard the show
has lots of Mormon flesh on display.
Mormons are opportunities we do whatever it take to win. We
want to win your approbation. You kind of seem the same way. Drew, let me ask
you something. Did you grow up Mormon?
I did not. I studied with the Jehovah's Witnesses for a while.
Oh, you are my brother then! When a Jehovah’s Witness comes
up to me we’re always like best friends once they’ve seen the show. My best
friend was Jehovah’s Witness and I call him ‘hovah boy and he calls me Mormon
boy. Mormons and Jehovah Witnesses go through spiritual abuse that I think is unlike
anything any of the other religions can do.
How’d you get hooked
up with Denver’s Dangerous Theatre?
Someone tipped me off to the Denver Fringe Festival and they
thought the show would be great there. I have never played Denver and there are
a lot of gay Mormons there – have you ever heard of the group Affirmations? They’re
the gay Mormons. Definitely want to shout out to my Denver Affirmation folks. So
I contacted Winnie (owner of Denver Fringe Festival and Denver’s Dangerous
Theatre) and I love doing dangerous work, so it was a great fit. And I hear its
kind of a sex club at night? I might have to check out the late show myself!
Why should readers of
MileHighGayGuy come see the show?
Denver is bigger than Salt Lake City but the cities still
have a lot in common as mountain towns. I’ve never done the show in another
mountain town and I’m really looking forward to meeting the people of Denver –
I think they’re really going to be able to get into my Brokeback Mormon dream.
Denver is going to get it. Variety calls my show Brokeback Mormon because of
this dream I have. I’m going to be doing my Brokeback dream for you!
Sponsored by MileHighGayGuy.com, Confessions of a Mormon Boy will run
for only five performances. For more information or tickets visit DangerousTheatre.com or call 720-233-4703.
