A Milwaukee mom refused to send her seven-year-old son to the Tippecanoe School for the Arts and Humanities on the day that the school originally tagged as “Gender Bender Day” – when boys were supposed to wear “girl” clothes and girls were supposed to wear “boy” clothes – according to the Wisconsin School Reformer. Amid complaints, the school eventually changed the name to “Switch It Up Day,” which is actually kind of funny considering the sexual connotations of the word “switch.”
Regardless, Deidri Hernandez was pissed and said that she did not want her son exposed to this apparent promotion of “homosexuality” in schools. She then went on to confuse sexual orientation with gender identity by saying, “They might as well call it Transgender Day.” She also complained about how liberals and atheists have the ear of the school, but others do not.
Well, Ms. Hernandez, I’m one of those liberals and atheists who are apparently so powerful and influential, and the truth is that I don’t like the idea of “Gender Bender Day” or “Switch Hitter Day” or whatever you want to call it either – but for very different reasons:
This activity assumes that there are only two genders and only two acceptable ways to express them – probably a dress and makeup for girls and pants and maybe beard stubble for boys. There are no gray areas here, and it is likely that no alternative options for gender expression will be discussed.
Most girls wear pants to school now anyway, at least some of the time, so the real “delight” of this day will be boys in dresses that everyone gets to laugh about and make fun of. Far from promoting “homosexuality,” an event like this instead promotes gay and trans bashing – “Wow, John, you sure look pretty in that dress. Who knew you were so gay?” “Albert, that dress fits you perfectly. Is it your mom’s or is it yours?” “Joe, you look so good in those high heels that I would date you – but I’m not a f*g!”
This might be okay for the popular boys and the jocks, who get to step back into their acceptable “masculine” persona the next day. But what about the nerdy guys or the shy guys or the guys who don’t exude the traditional masculinity that is expected of them, particularly at a middle school age (the school include grades K-8)?
If they participate, they’ll get hammered by the “cool” kids. If they don’t participate, they’ll get hammered by the “cool” kids, and there will be suspicion cast – “Steve, why didn’t you wear a dress today? Too many at home to choose from? Too afraid it will out you?”
While some might argue that this type of event allows trans kids to finally express themselves and spend a day living in the gender with which they identify without fear of ramifications, I would argue that this should be happening every day. This day will not really benefit trans kids, and it will possibly serve to make them feel more like outsiders than they already do as they listen to the other kids laugh and joke over everyone’s “outfits.”
So while I wouldn’t keep my kid home from school on “Gender Bender Day” unless he/she/ze wanted to stay home, I would certainly not condone the activity. And I would let my kid dress however he/she/ze wanted to, on that day and every day.
And as much as I don’t like it, maybe the idea of a “Gender Bender Day” at school is signalling some progress. When I was in junior high (that’s what we called it then), girls weren’t allowed to wear pants to school, and the most gender bending we did was the Sadie Hawkins Dance, the one event where the girls were allowed to ask the boys for a date. Otherwise, as a girl, you were just supposed to stay home and wait by your phone. At least we’ve gotten past that.
Now what we have to get past is the idea of a girl/boy gender dichotomy with gender expressions specific to each – so much so that a “Gender Bender Day” is a student body’s idea of something fun and a conservative mom’s idea of something damaging and dangerous.
This post originally appeared on Matt Kailey's award-winning website Tranifesto.com. Republished with permission.
