Ask Eric Anything: I Cheated. Now What?

Ask Eric Anything's Eric Kehela (left) enjoys being a full time life enthusiast with a zest for the finer things in life which include positive thinking and manifesting a wonderful day each day; he is multilingual and holds a BA in Speech Communications from San Francisco State University and is pursuing an MS in Professional Counseling. 

With a passion for writing and performing, Eric uses his honed skills and intuition to guide, communicate and connect with the people around him. 

The best advice he can give is, “Grow from light and always find truth within you. Reach for the galaxies, shoot beyond the stars and always aim with your heart.”

Dear Ask Eric Anything,

I recently reconnected with someone I knew and had feelings for years ago via Facebook (I'll call him John) and it has stirred up a lot of emotions within myself. I have a husband and we have been married for a long time but I just don't think I'm in love with him anymore. Our relationship is safe and comfortable but there's no passion and very little sex. I do have passionate feelings for John and I did end up cheating on my husband with him and the sex was very, very good. I feel like I'm trapped in my current relationship and want to get out but John says he will not consider dating me as long as I'm still with my husband. It might sound crazy but I literally cannot bring myself to make a decision about what to do. What is your advice?

Devastated in Denver

Dear Devastated in Denver,

Why ruin what you have and sever your connection by cheating?

Spice up your marriage and relationship by reinvigorating your connection to each other. You possess everything you require and desire in your marriage, so you have no reason to look elsewhere. Take a trip or a romantic tropical cruise for two to reignite the passion you share for each other.

It seems as though you checked out of your marriage without consulting your husband. Reevaluate your actions, choices, decisions and whom you affect in the process.

If you believe your marriage to be mainly rooted in passion and sex you are mistaken. A marriage is a partnership, relationship and a mutual love for one another, not a 365 day sex-escapade.

What your marriage lacks is communication, compassion and trust. Take the time to look within yourself and reflect on the marriage you are blessed with; you must know that although John may provide you with fun times, heat and perhaps laughter whilst rekindling the old-flame, you are indeed promised to another.

What you need to do is put John on hold and look at what you have in front of you: a husband who vowed to love you unconditionally. Remember why it is you fell in love with the man you have before you, and why you said, “I do.” If you put the same excitement, effort and passion into your marriage you will get what you put-out (pun-intended). It would be best for you to communicate effectively without using pronouns as I or you in reference to casting blame. Speak from your heart not your head, as logic and love do not mix well. Your husband picked you as you did him, so be a man, and take-care of your best friend; as cliché as it sounds, it does take two.

Closing your heart to your husband is the cause of you feeling trapped in your marriage, thus causing the desire to escape. If you open up to your husband-–tears and all, and listen to him and how he feels, you may end up having the best sex that night! Be honest, open and sincere. Do not use superficial and antagonistic approaches which only serve the ego. Sit silently without thinking about anything, and just look into his eyes with your heart. Feel his love for you; see how you are golden in his eyes, true love never dies. Appreciate him and tell him you do.

As for John, you need to release him and honor your current marriage. Only you can decide what is best for you; however, be mindful of this very important question: Can John guarantee you years to come? Honor your marriage and your marriage will honor you.

Ask Eric Anything: I Think I'm Addicted to Porn

By Eric Kehela

Ask Eric Anything's Eric Kehela enjoys being a full time life enthusiast with a zest for the finer things in life which include positive thinking and manifesting a wonderful day each day; he is multilingual and holds a BA in Speech Communications from San Francisco State University and is pursuing an MS in Professional Counseling. 

With a passion for writing and performing, Eric uses his honed skills and intuition to guide, communicate and connect with the people around him. 

The best advice he can give is, “Grow from light and always find truth within you. Reach for the galaxies, shoot beyond the stars and always aim with your heart.”

Dear Eric,

This is kind of embarrassing but I think I am addicted to porn. I watch it every day. I have little to no interest in physical relations with anybody else at this point. The thing is, I'm not sure if this is a problem or not because I feel like I am more satisfied with watching porn than I ever have been with the actual act with other people. Sex with other people can be awkward, messy or boring but porn is just about perfect every time. The only problem is that I have this nagging feeling that I should be trying to put more effort into my real life relationships. What do you think? I'd also like to know if any of your readers have this same issue?

Sincerely,
Pornaholic

Dear Pornaholic,

You must first ask yourself what it is you really want for yourself. Pornography, although useful (if you will) is not comparable to real-life intimacy. 

Do not make excuses for your lack of interest in another, or yourself for that matter. With the right partner, sex can be wonderful and full of pleasure.  Anonymous sex, although fun at the moment, does not suffice for the completion and fulfillment of spirit and self. There is no need to deem sex awkward with others, although you should be wise with your decisions. 

Why settle for the taxi, when you can take the jet? 

Interact with men who value your personality and respect your body.  A great partner possesses patience and passion when intimate. It is best if you disassociate yourself from the quick-fix scene, and start anew in your reality.  If sex is too messy or boring, you need to reevaluate your choices, and those you invite into your energy.  Whilst your undertone is laden with fear of intimacy, you must open your heart and be honest with what you know you deserve, and I am sure you deserve the best.   

Remember, visual stimulation can be helpful and assistive as long as you don’t get sucked into the virtual realm of smut and loneliness. In ancient times, sex was viewed as a means to release creative energy.  It is best to harness your energy and release when you need to, as you could be draining yourself of all desire and creative flow. Try releasing to imagery or your own fantasy – if you will, become one with your body once again and thus you train your stimuli to become more receptive to you and not what you watch.   

For now, focus on repairing your stimuli. Then go out and put effort into meeting the right person who will give you more pleasure than any porn ever has.  Be confident and cool, as you have nothing to fear, the right man will present himself at the right time. Focus on you and everything else will fall into place.   

P.S. We all watch porn. It is normal after all!

 Eric Kehela has worked as a life-coach and therapist and is currently pursuing a Master's degree in Professional Counseling. His goal is to make a difference and help others along the way.

Astrological Forecast: May was powerful but June is for those who LOVE to LIVE

By Eric Kehela

May of 2012 was a very powerful month. 

And while it may be over, it is necessary to keep your sights set on the bigger picture and know that you have all the insight innately instilled within the core of your being. 

The eclipse on the 20^th of May initiated a mass-shift in our consciousness affecting us as individuals and as a collective; furthermore, because our earth is ascending into the fourth-dimension, anything you think -you will create, as your thoughts are heard and echo throughout the multiverse. 

“The Ascension process is about moving the consciousness from one reality to another and the awareness of possible multiple realities existing simultaneously. Since a “reality” is a dimension, what we are undertaking is, in essence, a complete dimensional shift. A dimensional reality is held in place by a complex layer of coded energetic grids to create the illusion of time and space for the consciousness to perceive and to participate in its own experience within the broadband widths of that particular range of frequency. As the dimensional grids shift its frequency and its magnetic attributes change, all things existing within that “broadband” reality will also shift and change in a myriad of ways. The “natural” laws governing that time and space as we know them will change. This also means the perception of our spatial awareness, our relationship to time and space will also change rather dramatically.”

–Hechenberger, 2012.

What does all this mean?!...Keep reading. 

Those of you who love to love, listen up! Now that June is here, employ a new way of living that will enrich your life despite the challenges or discrepancies you may encounter in your day-to-day life experiences. Are you still seeking out your twin-flame? Is business slow? Are you continuously trying to reinvigorate your relationships? Strive no further and enjoy the months to come as Venus will arrive in our atmosphere shortly to activate our reality in cosmic power. Embrace the energy being showered upon you - it only happens every 104 years, so make your heart sing!

“Venus has always been considered the planet of Love. This is not just romantic hyperbole. Venus actually does reflect the full gathered momentum of Divine Love to all of the planets in our Solar System. Every 104 years Venus’ service of bathing the Earth with Divine Love is greatly amplified through an event known as the Venus Transit. During this transit Venus passes between the Earth and the Sun, an event that lasts for 6-7 hours. As Venus crosses the face of the Sun frequencies of Solar Light exponentially expand Venus’ ability to radiate Love to the Earth. This increased influx of Divine Love is anchored in the core of purity within every electron of precious Life energy on Earth starting June 6, 2012”

                                                                                                             -Robles, 2012.

Live your life as if it were a movie: you are the Actor, Producer and Writer. Write yourself a great sitcom, romantic comedy or whimsical adventure; establish your world consisting of love for all life and positive thoughts. You can be sure this is the time to truly make a positive difference for people everywhere; however, you must first attend to yourself. 

“Individually and collectively we can utilize this amazing influx of Light for the benefit of ourselves, our families, and all Humanity. At this time, Humanity is receiving the maximum assistance from On-High that Cosmic Law will allow. That means that you and I now have the ability to increase the Light we are adding to the world in unprecedented ways”

-Robles, 2012.

This June, use your light and will to jumpstart this summer for you and others alike. Remember to keep your heart open and your thoughts positive as all you think you will create. I send you each loving thoughts and know I am here for each and every one of you. 

Horoscope: April Reinvented

By Eric Kehela

Allow April to be the month you allow yourself to get answers.

Following Friday the 13th, we step-out of Mars retrograde,  and move into Virgo. What does all this mean and how does this apply to you?

Mars retrograde affects relationships, communication and any other behaviors ruled by ego. If recently you’ve been pursuing a new job, social circle, romantic or sexual interest, don’t be surprised if things didn’t work out as planned, as Mars is rooted in male energy and war. As Earth shifts out of Mars and into Virgo, permit yourself to get back-on-track, as all lines of communication are open and fluid. Be mindful of the energies around you and how energy affects your perception of circumstances and individuals in your reality.

This month offers you the opportunity to start anew, however, keep your focus on the bigger picture: YOU. Acknowledge your greatness and know you have a purpose; don’t allow yourself to fall into a slump based on previous comfort and circumstantial trivialities that are irrelevant in your reality. This month allows you to reinvent your reality from scratch without the messy clean-up; life will be smoother and copasetic if you attract the right energy by means of projecting the right intentions and thoughts.

Keep in mind, if you cast-out negativity, your outcome will reflect that which you project. If you have been applying for jobs and you haven’t been successful, know that the Universe is keeping you away from where you do not belong, as the right job or career-step will manifest before you - sooner than you know.

Are you an overwhelmed student? Pace yourself with assignments and limit your distractions. Organize your academic life with priority and respect. Remember, you are educating yourself for your present and future; therefore, remain responsible and attentive to your assignments and deadlines.

Are you caught up in a game of tug-of-war or cat-and-mouse? No longer must you entertain and engage in such childish behavior, as April wipes your slate clean and invites new opportunities and romantic interests to be present. Seek-out the right social-circle and use your heart as your compass.

Do not allow yourself to be used and abused by anyone. As Britney Spears once stated, “I’d rather be alone and happy, than be with someone and be miserable.” Appreciate the impact you make and the wonderful person you are, the rest will unfold by will of the Universe. Keep your sights set on what you require and what you need with positive intentions.

Nourish your body with natural foods and read your ingredients and avoid products that contain BHT  and Propylene Glycol. Reinvent your lifestyle with a diet that reflects your spirit and personality. Use ingredients provided by Mother Earth. Remember: your purpose is to feel good and be happy with what you feed your body.

My advice to you: Let April be the new page in a new chapter in your book-of-life. Don’t take life seriously, live everyday with the intention of creating a better day each day.

Until next month, wear your smile and keep your heart full!

Ask Eric Anything: I Want A New Life

By Eric Kehela

Dear Eric, I want to start my life over from scratch. I want a new job, a new place to live, and new friends and romantic interests but I feel stuck. How can I sever the ties of my old life and start the new one that I want? Everything is just old and stale to me and I want and need new experiences and I need them ASAP.

Thanks, B.

Dearest B,

“Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will.” Jawaharlal Nehru - Former Prime Minister of India

The best thing I can advise you to do is first identify what you really desire to make your heart sing, then act upon it and indeed change your scenery.

Finding the right place isn't a matter of throwing darts at a map while blindfolded, as the universe and its infinite wisdom is telling you that your energy and setting are stagnant and require a much needed change, as something in your life (or everything) may be lacking growth.

It is important to listen to what your inner heart-instinct dictates; similarly, as the birds fly for warmth in the winter, so must you heed your own red-flags especially if you are feeling stuck. If you are sincerely ready for a change of vista, look online (Google, prideroommates.com, craigslist.org, etc.), visit your local library or bookstore for resources to facilitate in finding a destination of your preference. Research the places and things which can bring you joy and success in all you do, as it is best to be informed and prepared. Spontaneity can be fun, however, you must ensure that your happiness is life-long and not a temporary form of instant satisfaction and gratification; therefore, choose your destination wisely and behave accordingly.

If your present scenery is numbing, new avenues may be just what you need whether it's a view of the ocean or the experience and closeness a small town has to offer.

Once you know where you’d like to be, start looking online for an opportunity in career advancement; find the companies you would like to work for and apply through the careers section of the web-page.

Be determined and motivated to embark on your new adventure. This will ensure a beautiful and successful life with your well-being in consideration. Creating a new reality can fulfill your desire for change and you will benefit from a new found identity and a fresh outlook - something which always brings the benefits of meeting new people, a romantic interest or both.

For your life to be a success you must bask in your present and feel fulfilled every step-of the way.

Keep in touch with any family you may have a heart-to-heart connection to (if applicable), as it is always nice to have someone to talk to and confide in – even if from afar. Your friends or acquaintances will wish you the very best. Life goes on and so must you.

Establish yourself as you see fit in the new reality of your choosing. Also, this fresh start isn’t just for your corporeal reality; it is an opportunity for you to surround yourself in positivity and only that which resonates with you.

Go out and conquer your reality and make every moment in your life full of happiness and satisfaction. If you are running away from something, be prepared to face the consequences of your actions and decisions; your time away in your new start will allow you to have enough time to reflect on anything which wasn’t conducive to your own evolution as a being of love and creation. Others may advise you to take a long vacation, yet the idea of coming back to what you want to leave behind can prove less than useful.

Make the best of your time and enjoy your life. Good luck on your endeavors and may your path be open and abundant!

Eric Kehela has worked as a life-coach and therapist and is currently pursuing a Master's degree  in Professional Counseling. His goal is to make a difference and help others along the way.

Horoscope: Happy Valentine's Gay

by Eric Kehela

Valentine's Day for Couples

Do you need to spice up your love life a bit? This month isn’t just devoted to St. Valentine, it is devoted to the love you have within and how you can share it with your significant-other. 

This Valentine’s Day do something special, unexpected and outside-the-box for the one you love. 

Try hiding little love notes around the house or in his bag/briefcase with a flower or two as a reminder of your appreciation. 

Pick up a special greeting card, or put your creativity to work and create a card full of warm and loving thoughts. As commercialized as the holiday seems to have gotten, you can still use it as a reminder to rekindle the flame of your relationship.

Candy, cakes and sweets can compliment your sweet words. Make the time to bake some Cinnamon Chocolate-Chip (if not allergic) cookies with secret love notes baked into them (make sure the paper and ink is safe for baking), that way he’ll have a little love note in each cookie. 

 If you have a night planned, make sure you have enough time to prepare the romantic-unwinding portion of the evening. At either his place or yours (or your shared abode, if you live together), make a trail of rose petals or love notes from the entry-door to the bathtub. 

Ideally with every note he should remove an item of clothing (“Happy Valentine’s Day sugar, take off your shoes and follow the sweet trail to the next note"). By the last note he should already be disrobed. Have a robe on a hanger, with a note that says, “Put this on ... and find me in the bubbles." 

As he is doing his romantic strip-love-note-treasure-hunt, you will be waiting in a bubble bath made for two alongside a jazzy romantic CD playing in the background (The soundtrack to The Talented Mr. Ripley has some nice song selections). Have Champagne and strawberries ready by the tub. As your Valentine approaches in his robe, invite him into the Bath of Love. Take it from there and make it a romantic night you both will remember.  

Follow up the tub with a nice body massage and cuddle by a roaring fire. To ensure a successful outcome, maintain a respectful and loving attitude towards one another and do activities and romantic activities like these on a regular basis. Remember, this is the time to replenish and reconnect with the one you love. It's the little things you do to make him smile on a regular basis. This is the time to reignite the passion and delve into your true feelings of appreciation and gratitude for the partner you have in your life.

Valentine's Day for Single Guys

This month can sometimes test your inner-strength as a single gay man but don’t let this time of year get you down. Although you may not have someone special in your midst right now; keep your chin up, your head held high, and a heart full of love, for he just may be right around the corner. Remember it isn’t about, Mr. Right-Now, it’s about being patient for Mr. Right. This Valentine’s Day is yours for the taking. And this is the year you give yourself the love you’ve always wanted.

 

If you do not feel you can handle this day because you are single at the moment, live as if there is a special someone you are sharing this day with. What would you do? Would you indulge in a dinner, perhaps a good movie? Do this for the most important person in your life,  YOU. 

When I say “love- yourself," I don’t imply narcissism, I mean the love that moves you from inside, as if you were watching a Hallmark card commercial - tears and all - that’s the love I mean. Love yourself as you expect another to love you. If you know your future partner would do-for-you as you would for him, then why not do it for yourself? You are an important factor in your own happiness and reality, thus you must always be truly happy from within. 

If you feel up to it, you may want to get yourself a puppy; adopt a new friend that will take you places and give you unlimited joy. You may end up at a local dog-park and serendipity may introduce you to Mr. Right. 

Above all, enjoy this month with a heart full of love and a smile that won’t wash away. This is the month to honor you.

Eric Kehela has worked as a life-coach and therapist and is currently pursuing a Master's degree in Professional Counseling. His goal is to make a difference and help others along the way.