Tranifesto: Why Am I Bigender?

By Matt Kailey

A reader writes: “I’m a 32-year-old female who is a bigender transgender. I got my testosterone checked and it’s 43. The doctor said that 45 and up would be kinda high, and I’m very close to that.

“Can this be why I’m bigender? I heard that most transgenders (transgender people) have high or near-high testosterone or estrogen. Thanks.”

The short answer is that I don’t know why you are bigender – but I obviously have more to say!

My understanding of the term bigender is that it refers to a person who manifests both masculine and feminine gender identities and who sometimes identifies as a man, sometimes identifies as a woman, or perhaps identifies as both simultaneously. I believe that this term can also refer to people who have multiple gender identities that are not necessarily restricted to traditional masculinity and femininity or to traditional representations of “man” and “woman.”

I’m sure that there are individual variations on this, and because I’m don’t identify as bigender, I might  not be expressing this correctly, so I hope bigender people will correct or add to this definition. There is also information and individual stories, as well as communication and interaction opportunities, at Bigender.net.

I’m not sure what you mean by “bigender transgender,” but it’s possible that you mean that you have a bigender identity that leans heavily toward the masculine on a hypothetical masculine/feminine spectrum or towards “manhood” on a hypothetical man/woman spectrum.

The majority of men and women produce both testosterone and estrogen in varying amounts. Based on this, medical science has come up with averages or “norms” for both men and women, but those averages and norms fall within a very wide range. So what’s “normal” for you might not be for someone else.

I do know some trans guys who had what were considered to be very high testosterone levels prior to using prescription testosterone. But I also know some, like myself, whose testosterone levels were considered to be in the “normal” or average range for females with a “standard” body. This is probably the case for trans women as well with regard to estrogen.

And there are plenty of non-trans women out there with what would be considered high testosterone levels who do not feel themselves to be trans or bigender. There are also plenty of non-trans men out there with lower-than-average testosterone levels or higher-than-expected estrogen levels who don’t consider themselves trans or bigender. So it’s just hard to say.

You could ask your doctor if he/she believes that your testosterone level is related to your being bigender. But my question to you is this: Does it matter?

If you are bigender, you are. If you are transgender, you are. Based on everything I know about hormones and gender identity, decreasing your testosterone levels and/or increasing your estrogen levels will not change that.

I’m not a big one for causes, and I tend not to be too concerned about them. I think that you are the way you are, and the most important things to do are learn about it, learn from it, and embrace it.

So while I don’t know the answer to your question, I would suggest that you communicate with some other bigender people and get involved with some online discussion groups (or in-person groups if they are available where you are) so that you can feel more comfortable about being bigender (if you don’t already) and get more information.

I also hope that readers will have some additional thoughts and resources, so I now turn it over to my better half. Readers?

This post originally appeared on Matt Kailey's award-winning website Tranifesto.com. Republished with permission.  

Tranifesto: Looking for Love in 2013?

By Matt Kailey

The holidays can be a rough time for trans people who are feeling alone and lonely, and if you’re one of those people, you might be making a New Year’s resolution to find romance in 2013. And while no one ever called me the world’s greatest lover (although I’m not aware of excessive complaints), I do have a few things for you to consider if a new relationship is one of your resolutions:

1. A storybook romance is not the end-all and be-all of your life. If you grew up with fairy tales and happily-ever-after endings, you might feel left out, or even like a loser, if you are not happily hitched in one form or another. But remember that the Western cultural model of a two-person, monogamous (and usually heterosexual) relationship is just that – one model.

A society decides what it needs and wants from its citizens, and then it propels them in that direction – through advertising, movies, television, and cultural storytelling. In Western society’s eyes, a romantic relationship between two people ensures a particular societal structure, order, and organization. It helps keep the gears humming and moves things along smoothly.

There’s nothing wrong with that, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting a traditional romantic and/or sexual relationship. But one-person households are on the rise in the U.S., and being single is no longer considered a “flaw.” So if you’re looking for a relationship because you want a relationship, go get ‘em! But if you’re looking for a relationship because you think you should be in one, think twice about letting your socialization control your social life.

2. There are many types of “successful” relationships. “Till death do us part” has long been the defining force of relationship “success.” The problem with this is that in order to determine whether or not your relationship has been successful, one of you has to die.

A successful relationship is not necessarily one that lasts a lifetime – it is one that worked for the time you were in it, and one that you were able to take something away from, even if that “something” is a hard lesson learned. So if you’re bemoaning the fact that you’ve never had a “successful” relationship, take another look and redefine “success.”

It’s likely that many of your past relationships were successful. And it’s likely that any new ones will be, too – whether they last a lifetime, a few years, a few months, or a weekend. Did you have fun? Was the experience valuable? Voila – success!

3. Friendships are often stronger, and last longer, than romantic relationships. Think about how long you’ve known your best friend. Then think about how long your most recent relationship lasted. If you’re feeling lonely, find a friend. While it’s true that, in most cases, you will likely be giving up the physical and sexual aspects of a romantic relationship, that’s why they invented sex toys – and they last longer and cost less than a high-end dinner and drinks.

Where do you find these friends? In places that interest you. Join an online chat group or a face-to-face social or hobby group that you like – a writing group, a book-discussion group, a skiing group, a religious group. You are likely to make good friends who have similar interests – and it’s just possible that you will meet a romantic partner as well.

4. Don’t settle – no matter how lonely you are. As trans people, we can be rejected just because we’re trans. But that doesn’t mean that we have to settle for the first person who shows an interest – unless we happen to be genuinely interested, too. If you find yourself thinking, “I better jump on this. Who else will want me? Who else will have me?”, then move on – this isn’t the person for you.

You decide what kind of person you want to be with, and then go after that type of person. That doesn’t mean that you will get the person of your dreams – one reason we have fantasies is to make up for the disappointments of real life – but if you hike every day and love the outdoors, you probably don’t want someone who expects you to stay inside and watch movies all day. If you’re a vegetarian who can’t stand the sight or smell of meat, you don’t want Ronald McDonald.

Guess what? You get to be just as picky as anyone else. Then, when you find that special someone, it will have been worth the wait.

5. Don’t rule out other trans people. Although many others don’t agree with me, I have never considered someone who won’t date trans people as transphobic. Now, that person might be transphobic, but not simply by virtue of having certain dating preferences. However, if you’re active in the trans community and you’re ruling out the people who you spend most of your time with, you’re dismissing a lot of potential great mates.

If you don’t want to date other trans people because you prefer a certain body type or history or whatever, that’s your choice. But if you don’t want to date other trans people because you think that they are somehow “lesser” than non-trans people, then you’ve got some inner work to do. Do that, then go out and date whoever you want.

Will you find love in 2013? Who knows? The future’s not ours to see – but it is ours to create. So go out and create the best year possible for yourself. When you are happy with your life as it is, a relationship, if you want one, will be the gravy – not the meat and potatoes (or tofu). And no matter what happens, you will always have you.

Happy New Year!

This post originally appeared on Matt Kailey's award-winning website Tranifesto.com. Republished with permission.  

Tranifesto: The Mechanics of Masculinity and Manhood

By Matt Kailey

A reader writes: “I am struggling with what kind of man I want to be. What does it mean to ‘be a man’?”

When non-trans people ask me this question, I say, “It means not being asked this question, because you would not ask me this if I wasn’t trans.”

But when trans guys ask me this, I have a much more thoughtful response. The problem is that “being a man” means different things to different people, and that meaning is affected by culture, society, family, age, and a host of other variables.

“Having a penis” is a common response from non-trans men, but that is so simplistic (and inaccurate) that it really doesn’t warrant a lot of discussion. Suffice it to say that if a non-trans man’s penis was damaged or disintegrated – by an illness such as cancer, an injury, or an accident – he would still be a man. If one (usually small and rather fragile) appendage is all that defines a person as a man, then his manhood is shaky indeed.

Your culture, the society you live in, your family, and your generation also define manhood for you – at least with regard to expectations. But these are ideals that have been crafted based on certain norms that can actually change over time depending on what a culture, society, family, or generation needs of its men at that moment. So you have some models out there, but they only work if they feel like a good fit to you.

In my opinion, it’s far better to create your own definitions. Instead of asking “What does it mean to be a man?”, ask “What does it mean to me to be a man?” And you’re the only one who can answer that.

One of the good things (and there are actually quite a few) about being trans is that you get to create and recreate yourself. You get to decide who you are and who you will become, and you can make whatever tweaks you want to.

It can be difficult because, in many cases, you have spent so long denying who you really are. That can make it tough to uncover the real you that lies underneath the facade that you have worn all your life. But the exciting thing is peeling away the layers and finally discovering that person. And that’s when you can start piecing together the man you want to be.

There’s nothing wrong with looking at men out there who you admire and deciding that you are going to emulate them or adopt certain qualities they have that you want. There’s also nothing wrong with creating your own brand of manhood from the ground up. Early in my transition, my therapist said, “The kind of man you are is the kind of man you are.”

I think that pretty much sums it up. What it means to be a man is what it means to you – period. To say that there is a right way or a wrong way to be a man is like saying that there is a right way and a wrong way to be a person. The only “wrong” way to be anything is to be something you’re not.

Ask yourself this: “Who am I and who do I want to be?” Then work on making that person – that man – a reality. Here’s a past post that might be of interest: What Does Being a Man Mean to You?

This post originally appeared on Matt Kailey's award-winning website Tranifesto.com. Republished with permission.  

Tranifesto: Correcting A Past Pronoun

By Matt Kailey

A reader writes: “I’m reasonably clued about trans etiquette, but I’ve never really known what to do with this one. What pronoun do you use for a person when talking about them in their pre-transition past? What feels right to me is to use whatever gender they were presenting as at the time, but I’m not certain that’s right.

“Obviously, it’s important not to out someone or create social awkwardness, so I suspect that the answer is nuanced rather than black-and-white. I truly have no idea how to fill in this blank, though: ‘I ran into a former coworker on the street today. The last time I saw him, (___) was named Jane.’

“What about when I’m talking to someone who knew the person before transition, but doesn’t know that the person transitioned? What about when the person had a very strong identification prior to transition (such as someone with a strong lesbian identification), and that person did important things under his/her previous name?”

This is a really good question that I don’t remember being asked before, and I would like reader input, because I have a pretty strong opinion about it that not everyone will probably agree with.
I would always use the person’s current pronoun, even when referring to something that person did in the past. So I would fill in the blank with “he” – “I ran into a former coworker on the street today. The last time I saw him, (he) was named Jane.”

It bothers me, for example, when I read an article about a trans person, and the writer goes back and forth with pronouns – “He was Special Forces in the Gulf War, but now she’s a puppeteer.” Huh? I get so confused, and if I’m confused, imagine what a non-trans person thinks when reading this. It certainly doesn’t help our image, in my opinion.

I think journalists and other writers love to play with this stuff in order to spice up their story – “When John Smith was a quarterback for the Denver Broncos, he held the record for passes completed. After she transitioned, Jane Smith became a newscaster for FOX.” (As if FOX News would hire her!)

I would reword the entire thing – “As a quarterback for the Denver Broncos, John Smith held the record for passes completed. After transition, Jane Smith became a newscaster for FOX.” But I would use the female pronoun for the entire story and write it so that the female pronoun made sense all the time.

Even if the person had a very strong identification with his or her birth sex prior to transition, I would still use current pronouns unless I knew that the person wanted me to do otherwise. A lesbian activist might have had a powerful identification as a lesbian and with the lesbian community, but if this person transitioned, he had an even more powerful identification with himself as a man.

And if the person did important public things in a previous name, I might refer to the person’s name, but not to his or her previous pronoun – “As Daphne, Dylan Scholinski wrote The Last Time I Wore a Dress” or “Daphne, now Dylan, Scholinski is the author of The Last Time I Wore a Dress, a book about his experiences as an adolescent female who was hospitalized because of gender nonconformity.”

The only exceptions to this are, as I said above, if I knew the person wanted me to do otherwise or if I was talking to someone who didn’t know that the person had transitioned, such as a mutual friend who hadn’t seen the person in a while. Then I would use the person’s previous name and pronoun, because I don’t think it’s my place to out the person, as you have already noted.

Again, this is my feeling about the matter, and I’m sure there are others. I can’t wait to see what readers think, so readers, take it away …

This post originally appeared on Matt Kailey's award-winning website Tranifesto.com. Republished with permission.  

Cinema Q, ONE Colorado Screening of 'Trans' Packed the House at the SIE FilmCenter

Cinema Q and ONE Colorado's screening of Trans played to a packed house last night at the SIE FilmCenter, F/K/A the Denver FilmCenter.

Described as "an up-close and very personal journey into the transgender world through the memorable stories and the unusual lives of a remarkable cast of characters," the movie was well-received and elicited both laughter and tears from the audience. 

After the screening there was a panel discussion featuring several prominent local members of the trans community including award-winning author, activist, and teacher Matt Kailey, Matthew's Place Youth Blogger Samantha Logan, activist Nicole Garcia, Keshet of the Rockies' Rafi Daugherty, and One Colorado's Kyle Inselman.

Members of the panel

Panelist Matt Kailey, DGLCC Professional Woman of the Year Kate Bowman, & GLBT Historian Brent Everett

Denver Film Society cutie-pies Keith Garcia and Karla Rodriguez

Cinema Q and ONE Colorado Present 'TRANS' Screening Tonight

Trans (Trailer) from The Film Collaborative on Vimeo.
Cinema Q and ONE Colorado present Trans this Tuesday, November 27. Trans is an extraordinary documentary feature about men and women, and all the variations in between. The movie starts at 7pm and there will be a panel discussion afterwards featuring award-winning author and MileHighGayGuy columnist Matt Kailey.

Tranifesto: Trans-lations

By Matt Kailey

What follows are some of the most commonly used words on this blog and website, as well as definitions of words that you might find when reading other, related material. Please understand that definitions can vary, and that different people may use different definitions. These are mine. I have tried to cover variations as much as possible.

It is also important to respect a person’s individual identity and not to impose an identity or an adjective onto someone who appears to meet a certain “definition.” This is sometimes difficult, especially when reporting news, but every attempt should be made.

Sex: refers to a person’s physical body, such as genitalia and secondary sex characteristics, and physical makeup, such as chromosomes. Because a person’s body is usually consistent with a person’s gender identity and chromosomal makeup, some people say that a person is “born male” or “born female” (terms that I generally use). Because a person’s body is not always consistent with a person’s gender identity, and because there can be variations in genitalia and chromosomal makeup, some people say that a person is “assigned male at birth” or “assigned female at birth.” This is accurate, because sometimes that assignation is incorrect.

Gender: refers to various aspects of a person and contains both biological and social components. While some people consider gender to be strictly a social construct, I maintain that there is a biological component, because if there were not, all people could be socialized into or “taught” the gender that matches the physical body. Gender involves gender identity, or how a person sees him- or herself; gender expression or presentation, which includes behaviors, mannerisms, appearance, clothing, and outward presentation; and gender expectations, which includes gender roles designated by a person’s culture.

Transgender: Transgender is an adjective, not a noun. Someone can be a transgender person, but no one is “a transgender.” While some people use the term “transgendered,” and I have done so in the past and actually prefer it, I use the term “transgender” now because it is broadly accepted, and many people find the term “transgendered” offensive (I am not one of them). There are many variations on this particular term. Here are several:

1. Refers to a person whose gender identity and physical body (sex) are not in alignment or do not agree, either all or part of the time. This is a narrow definition that I prefer, but many people prefer a broader definition.

2. Refers to a person who transgresses the gender norms of Western culture’s binary gender system (two-gender system), either all or part of the time and either intentionally or unintentionally. While everyone transgresses gender norms at some time or other, this definition generally encompasses those people who are viewed negatively or who are discriminated against because of their gender identity or gender presentation.

3. Encompasses both definitions above and also includes transsexual people, or those who have made changes to their physical body to bring the body into alignment with the gender identity.

Transsexual: Transsexual is generally used as an adjective (transsexual person), although some people, including myself, use it as a noun (a transsexual). It is probably best used as an adjective, although I slip up sometimes, because I identify as a transsexual and sometimes call myself “a transsexual” instead of a transsexual person. Definitions of this term also vary. Here are some:

1. Refers to a person who has made changes to the body through hormones and/or surgery to bring the body into alignment with the gender identity, or a person who lives full-time in the gender that matches his or her gender identity without hormones and/or surgery.

2. Refers to a person who is born with a medical condition that causes incongruity between the gender identity and the physical body. Using this definition, a person is born transsexual.

In either of the two definitions above, there are some people who consider themselves to be transsexual even after bringing the body into alignment with the gender identity through hormones and/or surgery (transition). There are other people who do not consider themselves to be transsexual after transition, but are men or women after the corrections are made.

It should be noted that there are some people who consider themselves to be both transgender and transsexual, and there are some who separate these two concepts completely and do not see them as related.

Trans man or transman: refers to a person who was born female (or assigned female at birth) and identifies as or has transitioned to male. Other terms include FTM (female-to-male), trans masculine or transmasculine person, transsexual man, transgender man, and man.

Trans woman or transwoman: refers to a person who was born male (or assigned male at birth) and identifies as or has transitioned to female. Other terms include MTF (male-to-female), transsexual woman, transgender woman, and woman.

Transition: refers to a process that includes changing or correcting the body or physical sex to match the gender identity through hormones and/or surgery, name change, legal paperwork changes, social adjustment, and other changes and adjustments necessary to live in the gender that matches the identity.

Trans: short for transgender, transsexual, or both. Because of variations in the definitions of transgender and transsexual, it is sometimes easier and more appropriate to use “trans” as a general term.


Non-trans: refers to a person whose gender identity and physical body (sex) are congruent or have matched since birth. Many people prefer the term cisgender or cissexual (“cis” meaning “on the same side as”). I prefer the term non-trans, and at this point, that is the term I use.

These are just a handful of definitions. There are many more. If a person you are talking to uses a word that you don’t understand, it is okay to ask that person to define the word for you.

Even if a person uses a word that you are familiar with, he or she might mean something different from what you have seen here or have been told by someone else. It’s okay to say, “I know what that word means to me. What does it mean to you?” That way, you are not making assumptions about someone else’s identity or language.

This post originally appeared on Matt Kailey's award-winning website Tranifesto.com. Republished with permission.  

Cinema Q and One Colorado Present 'Trans'

Trans (Trailer) from The Film Collaborative on Vimeo.
Cinema Q and ONE Colorado present Trans this Tuesday, November 27. Trans is an extraordinary documentary feature about men and women, and all the variations in between. The movie starts at 7pm and there will be a panel discussion afterwards featuring award-winning author and MileHighGayGuy columnist Matt Kailey.

A Thanksgiving Coming Out

By Matt Kailey

There’s a holiday coming on which we give thanks
For the wonderful things in our lives.
Not cell phones or new cars or what’s in the bank,
But our partners or husbands or wives.

We think of our loved ones as we plan our trips.
To see them will be a real treat.
And we know that the question on everyone’s lips
Will be, “When the heck do we eat?”

Now I’ve been through many a Thanksgiving feast
And lived to tell the story.
I can’t really rank them from most fun to least —
They all seemed a little bit gory.

There was one at my grandmother’s house, when she said,
“Let us each say what we’re thankful for.”
But before we could answer, my drunk Uncle Ted
Was sprawled out like a dog on the floor.

Another time everyone came to my place
With their offers to get in the way.
They crowded the kitchen and took up the space,
But at clean-up, they just couldn’t stay.

Then my sis tried her hand at the family feast,
With enough food to feed twenty-one.
But her poor old dog, Rover, that ungrateful beast,
Got there first and left us with none.

So, what’s really going on here? Are you excited? I mean —



Thanksgiving dinner with family and friends
Is supposed to be something quite dear.
But whatever your means and whatever the end —
Admit it. You’re quaking with fear.

There’s nothing exactly like gathering in thanks,
After wading through mountains of snow
With sweet Aunt Matilda and that slob Uncle Frank
And their passel of children in tow.

Then your psychotic brother
Arrives with his wife,
And you wish that he’d put down
That sharp carving knife.

And your parents announce
A Thanksgiving Day bet
That has something to do with
Why you’re not married yet.

And your nephew, who’s one,
Starts to laugh at his toes
And squirts mashed potatoes
From out of his nose.

And your cousin,
Who’s eighteen going on thirty-three,
Reaches under the table
And fondles your knee.

But the worst thing is going to somebody’s house
Who you’ve never laid eyes on before,
And eating strange food prepared by their spouse
And choking out, “Sure, I’ll have more.”

We all have our stories of Thanksgiving pain,
Of the sacrifice we’ve had to make.
Of the friends that we’ve lost and the weight that we’ve gained
And the turkeys that just wouldn’t bake.

Of the vegetables we couldn’t identify
And the rolls that were hard as a rock.
And the off-color jokes that we just let slip by
While our grandparents went into shock.

Even so, on Thanksgiving, there’s fun to be had.
You just have to know how to do it.
While you’re dealing with relatives, mother and dad,
You can do more than simply get through it.

Have some fun. I did. Here’s how.

One year, my grandmother confessed to me,
“I miss the old songs of my day.”
She sat at the piano, hands over the keys,
And she said, “Will you sing if I play?”

She started a melody, one that I know,
A song that began with a bang.
And I stood up and readied myself for the show,
Then I opened my mouth and I sang (to the tune of “Has Anybody Seen My Gal”):

Six foot two, eyes of blue,
Works on a construction crew.
Has anybody seen my guy?

Studly nose, knows the pose,
Has a million other beaus
Has anybody seen my guy?

If you see a fine dandy,
Handsome and slim
Diamond rings and all those things
You can bet your life it isn’t him

But could he love, could he woo
If you find him, you can, too,
Has anybody seen my guy?
(I really miss him)
Has anybody seen my guy?
(Come back to me, baby)
Has anybody seen my guy?

Well, my father jumped up and he started to scream.
My mother said, “Oh, no, oh, no.”
My aunts and my uncles turned six shades of green.
And my brother said, “I told you so.”

The house was in chaos, the family was crazed,
And nobody knew what to say.
Then my grandma said, “What’s wrong?” She seemed quite amazed
When my mom blurted out, “Oh, he’s gay.”

So my grandmother looked at me, up and then down,
And, at first, didn’t utter a thing.
Then she turned to my mother and said with a frown,
“He’s not gay. He can’t even sing.”

“And look at that hair! And those clothes!”

Though my Thanksgiving coming out could have been better,
There are some things we cannot foresee.
But I’m grateful my cousin, even though I would let her,
Has never again touched my knee.

And as for you —

If you feel like you’re getting the Thanksgiving blues
And fun things start feeling like chores,
And you’re dreading the sound of your relatives’ shoes
As they head up the walk to your door —

Just think of my story as you make your way
Through whatever the holidays bring.
And be glad that you didn’t find out, on Thanksgiving Day,
That your son, or your daughter …

can’t sing.

Matt Kailey and Metropolitan State University of Denver Offer Historic “Transgender Studies” Class for Spring Semester

Metropolitan State University of Denver and award-winning instructor, author and community activist Matt Kailey will offer a full-term, three-credit course in Transgender Studies for the spring semester beginning January 2013. The course, one of only a few such classes in the country, will be offered through the Women’s Studies Department.

“Colorado has become an increasingly transgender-friendly state,” says Kailey. “We have employment laws and public accommodations laws in place that protect transgender and gender-diverse people. As trans people continue to increase in visibility, many professions will be working with this population. This course will help prepare future therapists, educators, medical personnel, businesspeople, political figures, and other professionals for working with transgender people.”

Topics to be covered include basic transgender terminology and etiquette (did you know that there’s a “T-word” that is generally considered an unacceptable slur?); the history of the transgender movement and transgender people (did you know that the Obama administration was the first to appoint an openly trans woman to an important government post?); social, medical, and legal issues (did you know that Colorado was the first venue ever to issue a hate crimes finding in the murder of a trans person?); transgender children and youth (did you know that a Colorado Girl Scout troop caused a national controversy by admitting a transgender scout?); resources for transgender people and service professionals (did you know that Colorado has one of the oldest gender centers in the country?); and many other topics essential to an understanding of transgender people and issues.

“This course will equip MSU students with the knowledge and skills they need for working in the 21st century, no matter what profession they enter,” says Kailey. “Metropolitan State University’s support of this course demonstrates that Colorado remains on the cutting edge when it comes to issues of gender diversity.”

Tranifesto: Announcing Transgender Studies at Metropolitan State University of Denver

By Matt Kailey

Some of you might be aware that I have gone to a once-a-week posting schedule for my blog. I will be posting every Monday for the time being, because there are some things going on in the near future that I will be focusing on.

The most exciting of these developments is the “Transgender Studies” class that I will be teaching at Metropolitan State University of Denver for the Spring 2013 semester. This is not a weekend seminar, but a three-credit, full-term class being offered through the Institute for Women’s Studies and Services as part of their Gender and Sexualities minor. I am not only teaching it, but I am designing the curriculum as well, and I couldn’t be prouder.

If you or anyone you know attends Metro State, please spread the word. This is an important class that is designed for anyone who wants or needs to know more about transgender and transsexual issues. It will benefit future therapists, educators, medical personnel, business people, politicians, and everyone else who takes it. No prior “transgender knowledge” is required, and there are no stupid questions. The class was just approved, so will be listed in the online catalog in time for November registration.

In addition to working on this class, I want to write some more “10 Tips” short books (10 Tips for Parents of Adult Trans Children is now available as a pdf download – see right sidebar) and start on some other projects. So for the immediate future, I will be posting on Mondays only. Thank you so much for your support, and thanks for reading!

This post originally appeared on Matt Kailey's award-winning website Tranifesto.com. Republished with permission.   

Tranifesto: Does My Body Determine My Support and Social Groups?

By Matt Kailey

A reader writes: “I am an FAAB (female-assigned at birth) genderqueer individual who is also gay. I never pretend to understand being trans, transitioning, and all of those experiences that I will never have.

“However, I got a kick in the gut tonight from very good friends (four lesbians, one gay guy) who completely slammed the whole trans umbrella.

“They essentially said that they do not believe that trans women belong in spaces such as the women’s group at the LGBT center, and same for trans men with the men’s group. I asked where I fit, and they were like, ‘You have a vagina, don’t you? With the women, duh.’ I felt like my entire identity was invalidated in that moment by the last people who should be doing that.

“But then they made what some would consider a valid point: trans women grew up with male privilege, and that is something cis women have never had. Trans women wouldn’t know anything about menstruation and other issues that happen in that department that cis women want to discuss.
“It went on and on in that vein, with the main point being that the experience of the cis woman versus the trans woman is very different. Just as someone who isn’t transitioning wouldn’t go to a group for transitioning trans people, why should trans women go to a group for women of cisgender experience?

“Now, I am still stinging from the invalidation of my gender identity in the course of this conversation, and perhaps you can help me here. Am I overreacting? I know they are my friends and they never meant to make me feel that way. Are they entitled to this opinion that since I have a vagina and was born with one I should box myself into the women’s group and that trans women don’t belong there? Are they wrong for saying this? Am I wrong for being pissed?”

My short answer to the questions you ask in your last paragraph are: probably not, yes, no, and no. Here are my long answers (after the jump):

Tranifesto: How Can I Live a Gender Fluid Life?

By Matt Kailey

A reader writes: “I’ve recently started to question my gender. I’m trying out using one letter (like an initial) as my name and as my pronoun, instead of ‘him’ and ‘he.’ I first thought I was just gay, but I’m starting to think that I’m gender queer.

“How does someone live a gender fluid life? And at the moment, as I’m a man who is attracted to men, how would a gender transition affect my sexuality?”

While true gender fluidity is not my area of expertise, I know quite a few people who identify as genderqueer and/or as gender fluid. However, having friends who identify as such is not the same as being there myself, so I hope that we will hear from genderqueer and gender fluid readers.

I think that living as gender fluid can be done successfully. The people I know who are gender fluid are, for the most part, very happy and comfortable in their lives and in their identity. Any battles they face are with a culture that insists that they be one thing or the other and is not comfortable with ambiguity or uncertainty (and I have to be very clear here that it is the culture that is problematic, because the people I know who are gender fluid don’t feel ambiguous or uncertain – they know who they are).

Again, I’m not an expert on living a gender fluid life. I can offer some suggestions, and then ask readers to bring in their expertise. Here are my thoughts:

> Be who you are. Choose the clothing, hairstyle, and other gender expressions that are comfortable for you. Don’t be afraid to shop in the “men’s department” and the “women’s department” in stores. Use the mannerisms and vocal inflections that come naturally to you.

If you’re not sure what is natural for you because the people around you have certain expectations about who you are based on what they already know of you, go somewhere new and different – even for a weekend – and see how you act and who you are in unfamiliar circumstances around people who don’t know you. It might sound like a cliché, but let your “true self” emerge.


> Don’t worry about how to be genderqueer. The right way to express your gender is the way that is right for you. The people I know who identify as genderqueer are not alike, just like the people I know who identify as trans (or as anything, really) are not alike.

So don’t worry about what you are “supposed” to do to be genderqueer. Just do what feels right and give yourself the label that best fits – or give yourself no label at all.

> Forget about the gender roles and expectations that you have been socialized into. Don’t feel as if you have to comply with them, but don’t feel as if you have to reject them, either. If you have been socialized into certain “male” roles that you like, keep them. If they “sort of” fit you, adapt them. If they don’t fit you at all, get rid of them. You have a chance to create the life you want and the person you want to be by experimenting with what is and is not comfortable for you.

This does not mean that there won’t be roadblocks. I might be wrong, but I get the impression that you live in the United States, which is a very binary society. You will have to declare a sex – “M” or “F” – for your driver’s license, Social Security file, and probably your workplace, depending on the laws in your state.

You might have difficulty getting your friends and family to adjust to your chosen pronouns. You might end up doing a lot of correcting. This doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t respect your wishes. It just means that the reality is that they might have trouble doing so, and you might end up frustrated.
Also, depending on the laws in your state, your workplace might not have to comply with your chosen pronouns or your preferred restroom. And strangers will probably misgender you, because strangers will usually choose “he” or “she,” based on their own perceptions.

None of this means that you can’t live the way you want to. It simply means that the “outside world” might not always cooperate. You have to adjust to that the best you can.

With regard to your sexuality, you ask how a “gender transition” would affect it. I’m not quite sure what you mean here, but I’m going to take a stab at it and assume that you mean a transition from a traditional “masculine” identity to a more fluid identity. I don’t know if you intend any medical transition through hormones and/or surgery.

Once you start living as yourself, no matter how you reach that place, it’s possible that your sexual and romantic attractions could change, and it’s possible that they will not. Don’t worry about labels for your attractions.

I know a person who was born with a “standard” male body, identifies as genderqueer, and identifies as bisexual. I know another person who was born with a “standard” male body, identifies as genderqueer, and is in a long-term relationship with another individual who was born with a “standard” male body.

I don’t know what label this person uses for their (preferred pronoun) sexual orientation or their relationship, and they might not use any. It really doesn’t matter. What matters is that, if you desire it, you find a person you are attracted to who is attracted to you.

We live in a culture that expects us to label our sexual orientation and then expects us to remain within the parameters of that label. If there’s any way that you can let that go, I would suggest that you try. Your sexuality is your sexuality. It doesn’t matter what label it has. It doesn’t matter if it changes. It just it what it is at any given moment in your life.

That’s how I see things. But again, there are others who are better equipped to offer advice in this area, so I hope that we will hear from them.

Readers? You’re on.

This post originally appeared on Matt Kailey's award-winning website Tranifesto.com. Republished with permission.  

Tranifesto: Let's See What You've Got

By Matt Kailey

I recently participated in a book reading at the Mercury Cafe in Denver, offering up a couple of essays from my latest book, Teeny Weenies and Other Short Subjects.

Here is “Let’s See What You’ve Got.” (Note: The text of the essay follows the video.)

Let’s See What You’ve Got

“I’ve never met a female-to-male transsexual before.”

Yes, of course. I get this all the time from gay men. But this particular gay man had just spent the last fifteen years living in San Francisco. If a gay man lives in San Francisco for fifteen years and has never met an FTM transsexual person, I can only assume that he spent those fifteen years:

A) incarcerated.

B) homebound.

C) in a hut on the far side of Alcatraz island.

Almost every major urban center in the United States is teeming with trans men. If we don’t live there already, we often migrate there in search of a more welcoming community, better access to health care and other resources, and a larger trans population with which to connect. San Francisco, with its rainbow flags down Market Street and its “anything goes” Castro district, is particularly attractive, especially for gay trans men.

In reality, my fine gay friend from San Francisco, who apparently had to come to Denver, Colorado, to actually meet a trans man, has probably met many of them throughout his decade and a half in the City by the Bay – he just doesn’t know it. Thanks to the incredible transformative powers of testosterone, trans men rarely have to come out publicly unless we choose to, and we are hardly ever read as trans, even if someone is looking extra hard.


This invisibility is great for someone who is trying to quietly assimilate into mainstream culture, but it can lead to a lot of misunderstandings, unpleasantness, and even downright nastiness if the guy is simply trying to get a date or a trick for the night. A non-trans gay man can quickly turn ugly when he picks up a guy and then finds out later that his cute trick doesn’t have the expected “equipment,” no matter how hot the guy is overall.

This particular predicament is cause for ongoing discussion in trans man space: when, exactly, do you come out to your potential partner or one-night-stand? I always advocate for a “the-sooner-the-better” approach, primarily for safety reasons. I have no desire to be in a strange apartment in a strange neighborhood with a strange (and maybe rather large and burly) guy who suddenly feels that I have “betrayed” him by not intimately discussing my physical configuration beforehand. It’s true that I might get rejected and left standing at the bar with only my beer for company, but I’ll take that chance a lot faster than I’ll take a chance with my physical safety.

The guys who feel as if they don’t need to go into a “tell-all” confession prior to a little play have a very good point, however – how many non-trans gay guys honestly share their stats before leaving a bar or a party with someone? I’m not talking about all those 9-inched hunks who only seem to exist on the pages of the personals. I’m talking about real guys who hook up in real circumstances. Unless you both strip down right where you are and show each other all the goods, there might be any number of things about your trick that will disappoint you, and vice versa. These things don’t come with a written guarantee.

So while I’m all for safety (mostly mine), I also understand the desire for privacy and anonymity, along with a person’s right to possess the body he has without explanations or disclaimers. We’re out there. You’ve met us, whether you know it or not. And we’re not trying to fool you. We’re just being ourselves, looking for the same things that you are.

So – let’s see what you’ve got.

This post originally appeared on Matt Kailey's award-winning website Tranifesto.com. Republished with permission.  

Tranifesto: ‘I Would Never Date a Trans Person!’ Then Don’t.

By Matt Kailey

I took down two comments from my blog this week, something that I rarely do. The first one was a no-brainer – it blatantly violated my “no personal attacks” policy. The second one was debatable. I eventually took it down because, while it was civil, it contained language that was highly disrespectful of the majority of my readers.

But it took me a while to decide, mostly because of its amusement factor. The comment was on an older post and was from a self-described “bi female” who basically said that she would never date a trans person because trans people are not “real” men and women.

Now this is definitely not the first time I’ve heard this sentiment. Nothing original here. But part of my amusement is because I know quite a few gay, lesbian, and straight people who don’t consider bisexuality to be a “real” sexual orientation, and I also know a good number of gay, lesbian, and straight people who would never date a bisexual person. However, I do consider bisexuality a “real” sexual orientation, so I will let that one go.

But what I find most amusing about this proclamation, and all of the similar ones that I have heard over the years, is that publicly announcing that you “would never date a trans person” (or a person from any particular group, for that matter) brings with it a couple of underlying (and rather self-aggrandizing) assumptions.

The first is that we care. People who publicly proclaim that they “would never date a trans person” seem to think that it somehow matters to us that they won’t date us – that our feelings will be hurt or that they are punishing us with their rejection.


It appears that the only time they really want to say this is when they are interacting with trans people, either online or in person. I suppose it might be the topic of their conversations with non-trans friends, but it sounds like a pretty boring subject, so I can’t help but think that it is intentionally directed toward us in the hope that we will be properly chagrined – that we will actually feel bad about it. We don’t.

This segues into the second assumption, which is that we would want to date the people who feel the need to proclaim this. For us to actually care whether or not these people want to date us, we would have to want to date them in the first place. So the assumption has to be that we want to date you, and the only thing preventing that from happening is your refusal. Probably not.

I think that anyone has the right to date, or to not date, whoever they choose. If trans is a total deal-breaker, I don’t have a problem with that. We all have our own personal deal-breakers, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re bad, evil, shallow, phobic, or what have you. It just means that people have preferences. I completely support that.

But if you feel the need to publicly announce your deal-breaker, then it probably means that you are acting on the above assumptions – that the group you are rejecting actually cares, and that the members of the group you are rejecting would actually want to date you. Both of these assumptions are frequently false.

So if you’re worried enough about dating a trans person that you have to go on a trans blog and announce your intent never to do so, I have some suggestions that might help ease your mind. If you don’t want to date a trans person:

1. Don’t ask a trans person out.

2. If a trans person asks you out, say, “No, thank you.”

3. If you begin dating someone who later comes out to you as trans, say, “Sorry. That’s a deal-breaker for me.” Then don’t make another date.

Simple enough. If you have another deal-breaker group, just substitute that group’s adjective for the word “trans” in the above three suggestions. And once you’ve got these tips under your belt, sit back, relax, and stop stressing. We don’t want to date you, either.

I promise.

This post originally appeared on Matt Kailey's award-winning website Tranifesto.com. Republished with permission.  

Tranifesto: Trans Men, Gay Communities

By Matt Kailey

A reader writes: “How could one change the current climate for gay trans men in the gay male community?”

My answer: One mind at a time.

This is a continuation of last week’s Ask Matt Monday, which dealt with trans men and lesbian communities. And this is a tough one, because I think there is a different dynamic in gay male communities.

When I first started my transition, I identified as a gay man, which did not go over well with one population – gay men. The gay men who heard me speak complained that I was appropriating their identity, that I didn’t share the “gay male experience” that had shaped the lives of gay men, and that I couldn’t compare my experience to theirs.

Being opinionated, impetuous, and newly testosterone-fueled, I was slow to catch on. But I eventually realized that they were right – at least in my case. I do know some gay trans men who have been gay men since they were old enough to formulate an identity, regardless of their body configuration, but the neighborhood Barbra Streisand fan club that I started at eleven and my childhood obsession with The Wizard of Oz really don’t qualify me.


I have found that, in many non-trans gay male communities, there seems to be a sense of invasion when it comes to gay trans men, as well as a sense of “trickery.” I have also found that the older the men are, the stronger these feelings are – but this is a generalization, of course, and it is not always true. There also seems to be less a sense of this in activist communities that have united around T inclusion in LGBT causes.

But again, as with lesbian communities, I have not found non-trans gay communities as a whole to be any more knowledgeable about trans issues than straight communities are. And, at least in Colorado, many of the non-trans gay activists who have attempted to include gay trans men in their programs for gay men have run up against road blocks from other gay men.

Of course, my answer to almost everything is to be out if possible, and this situation is no different. I think that the more non-trans gay men have a chance to see who we are and to know us on a personal level, the less they will feel “tricked” or “deceived.”

One of my best friends is a non-trans gay man. One or two of his friends have rejected me. They are no longer his friends. A couple of his friends have stated that they would have never considered dating a trans man until they met me (not because they want to date me in particular, but because they have realized, through meeting me, that trans guys are pretty much like every other guy). The rest of his friends have just taken me in stride. They just don’t care one way or the other.

I have many other non-trans gay friends and acquaintances. I think dating, sex, and relationships are a different matter, but there are many gay trans guys who are in relationships with non-trans gay guys, and even more who are sexually active with non-trans gay guys.

I think it just takes time. Because of our “invisibility,” primarily due to the effects of testosterone, non-trans gay men are often not aware that we are among ‘em or that they even know any trans men. Once they realize that they do know us, and once they start to form friendships or other relationships with us, I think attitudes will change.

I also think that we can’t position ourselves as outsiders with our noses pressed up against the window of an established community hoping to be “let in.” Our goal should be to integrate the communities, not ask for membership. We have as much to offer as anyone else, and both trans and non-trans gay guys can benefit by the association.

Thoughts?

This post originally appeared on Matt Kailey's award-winning website Tranifesto.com. Republished with permission.  

Tranifesto: The Ultimate Insult?

By Matt Kailey

I’ve suffered my share of insults in my life. I’ve been called stupid, ugly, fatty, spacey, weirdo, and slut – and those were all in the first 18 years. But it seems that the supreme insult was saved for adulthood (and manhood) – being asked if I was ovulating.

A while back, on the night before Mother’s Day, I apparently committed the ultimate transgression – I dared to go into a gay bar without wearing my “Just to warn you – I’m a transsexual” glow-in-the-dark T-shirt.

I actually had the nerve to enter this bar with my friend, order a drink, dance, talk to people, and do the usual things that you do in a bar without having the disc jockey announce over the loud speaker that a transsexual man had just entered the premises.

Now, I go into gay bars all the time, and nobody really seems to care one way or the other. But on this particular night, my presence so incensed a friend of my friend’s (they are no longer friends) that he felt compelled to attack me with what he must have considered the most hideous, degrading, and dehumanizing concept that he could possibly come up with – ovulation.


He apparently discovered during the course of the evening that I was trans, because the conversation suddenly switched gears from boring small talk to a heinous accusation.

“Tomorrow’s Mother’s Day,” he said. “You must be ovulating.”

The statement was so bizarre that I didn’t have a ready response. I mean, besides fertility specialists and women trying to conceive, who actually even thinks about ovulation, let alone uses it in a sentence?


But to him, it was apparently a really big deal, because he kept the subject alive for at least the next half hour. When I danced with someone, he asked me if I had started ovulating because I had danced with a sexy guy. When a woman came around selling flowers, he asked me if I wanted one because I was ovulating.

And then the Mother’s Day thing kept coming up – I would, of course, be ovulating because it was almost Mother’s Day (the connection is sketchy, but you can’t expect logic under these circumstances).

My friend didn’t know this was going on, and I didn’t bother to tell him until the next day, thus effectively ending their friendship, which was not my intention. I just wanted to know what the hell was wrong with his friend.

I could only surmise that he had a) issues with women; b) issues with his mother; and c) issues with reproduction – and that he thought that the ultimate shame would involve anything related to “female” anatomy.

I know quite a few gay guys who think that women’s bodies are kinda gross. But it doesn’t matter, because they rarely, if ever, have to deal with them. But this was the first time that I had ever met a gay guy who thought that accusing someone of having female body processes was an insult.

I could blame it on misogyny – there are whole cultural rituals, taboos, and legends built around female “uncleanliness,” which amounts to fear of women’s bodies and women’s sexuality. I could blame it on transphobia and the absurd but persistent notion that we are trying to “fool” people by being ourselves. I could blame it on homophobia and his own self-loathing over not being “masculine” enough to meet the standards of society.

And in this case, I think it was a combination of a little of all those things, plus a lot of something really horrible that had happened at some time in his life that I know nothing about and never will.
The bottom line is that I wasn’t particularly insulted and my feelings weren’t hurt. Being accused of femaleness has never wounded or offended me. Apparently, though, femaleness – or being accused of it in some way – has wounded or offended him, resulting in his obvious belief that anything having to do with womanhood is the ultimate insult.

And this I do blame on misogyny. And this I do blame on homophobia. And this I do blame on a culture that equates femininity with failure and makes womanhood wrong.

And I hope that he can reconcile it, because I haven’t ovulated since January of 1998. So the next time he sees me, he’s going to have to come up with a different insult – which will teach him not to put all of his eggs – or mine – in one basket.

This post originally appeared on Matt Kailey's award-winning website Tranifesto.com. Republished with permission.  

Tranifesto: Meanness Doesn't Equal 'Man-ness'

By Matt Kailey

One of the worst fights that I have ever seen – besides on television and in Sylvester Stallone films – was when I was a junior high teacher many years ago. I was in the classroom during a break, and a student came running in, shouting, “Miss Kailey, Miss Kailey (that was my name then). There’s a fight in the girls’ bathroom.”
 
I was allowed to go in at the time, and what I found when I did was hair – hair, hair, everywhere, except on the two girls’ heads. They had literally taken handfuls of each other’s hair and yanked it by the roots from its moorings – and that was in addition to the pushing, shoving, and punching.

Physical fighting, long considered the purview of men, is actually not as gender specific as we think. I’ve been challenged to a fight twice in my life – once in junior high, once in high school, and both times by a female when I was a female. (If the girl who wanted to fight me in high school is reading this, I did not write that nasty thing about you on the wall downtown. I don’t know who did, but I had nothing to do with it).

Meanness, bullying, and other aspects of physical and emotional violence are not confined to boys and men. While there are various ways to be mean, and I believe that men, as a whole, tend more toward physical violence than women do (it’s the testosterone – and the socialization), meanness isn’t a “man” thing, and most men aren’t mean.

Now I have seen some mean non-trans guys in my time. But what is curious to me is that I have seen some trans guys become meaner as they transition, and I have seen some non-trans but “masculine”-identified women who seem to enjoy bully-type behavior – as if masculinity and meanness were one and the same, or as if, to be thought of as “masculine,” you have to be mean.
I understand the need for the powerless to try to take some power. And I understand the need for the powerless to try to establish some emotional and physical protection for themselves. I also understand that testosterone can change behavior.

But in some cases, I don’t chalk the increased meanness up to hormones, whether injected or naturally occurring. I think that we have a mistaken belief in this culture that “masculine” is better, that “tough guys” are manly men, and that, in order to be masculine – and thus better, stronger, tougher – you have to be mean.

I hope that we can change this view that is slightly askew, and convince both women and men, boys and girls, trans and non-trans alike, that nastiness is just that – nothing more. I hope we can change the attitude that to be emotionally and physically “tough” – which isn’t necessarily a bad thing in and of itself – a person has to be mean as well.

And I hope that we can eventually equalize various personality characteristics, so that we’re not glorifying those that we consider male and dismissing those that we consider female, which leads to the adoption of behaviors that are mistakenly seen as “masculine,” and therefore better.

Oh, and lest you think that the girls fighting in the bathroom many years ago were simply transcending gender stereotypes, guess what they were fighting about – which one was prettier!

Readers, what do you think? Have you seen any meanness lately?

This post originally appeared on Matt Kailey's award-winning website Tranifesto.com. Republished with permission.  

Tranifesto - The Michelle Kosilek Decision: More Than the Needs of the One

By Matt Kailey

Our community seems sharply divided on the recent decision by U.S. District Judge Mark Wolf to allow convicted killer Michelle Kosilek to undergo transition surgery while in prison, paid for by the state of Massachusetts.

I understand the anger and frustration of those who have worked three jobs, sold their possessions, and still can’t afford to pay for this surgery. They think, “I have been a law-abiding citizen all my life and I can’t afford to have surgery, but a convicted murderer can get it for free? How fair is that?”

Probably not all that fair, actually. But, in my opinion, the Michelle Kosilek decision is about far more than one person – one murderer, even – getting her transition surgery covered by the state. I think there are some points that we have to look at with regard to this decision, all of which take Kosilek out of the equation entirely.


1. First of all, we have to examine whether or not federal, state, and local governments should pay for medical care for their prisoners. If the answer is yes, then the decision could go no other way. If transition is, in fact, medically necessary, and if, in fact, a civilized government provides health care to those who it incarcerates, then the government must provide medically necessary care to all its prisoners. It cannot discriminate on the basis of some false morality, or on the “worthiness” of the individual receiving the care.

We either treat our prisoners humanely or we don’t, and providing necessary health care is the humane thing to do. It’s not a matter of who “deserves” it and who doesn’t. It’s a matter of whether or not we are going to provide it to our prisoners – period.


2. Next, we have to look at legal decisions that work in our favor as trans people. Regardless of the unpopularity of this decision, among some in the trans community and among the general public, the fact is that any legal decision that determines that transition surgery is a medical necessity can only benefit us in the long run.

The more legal rulings that we have under our belt, the closer we get to eliminating this whole “choice” misconception, the closer we get to insurance coverage for transition procedures, and the closer we get to transition being seen as a medical, rather than a psychiatric, solution for a medical, rather than a psychiatric, condition.

3. And finally, we have to weigh the significance of this decision against the possible setback it represents for us in the minds of the general public. Certainly it can, and probably will, have some negative repercussions with regard to the “hearts and minds” that we hope to change. But hearts and minds are always slow to come around. And they can turn on a dime when something like this happens.

For these reasons, legal intervention must often come first. Then if hearts and minds don’t change, it doesn’t matter as much, because the law is working for us. And when the law recognizes us as legitimate human beings with legitimate legal rights, that often does serve to change hearts and minds over time. At the very least, it forces the hand of those hearts that are resistant.

So while I completely understand the arguments, anger, and animosity within our own community regarding this controversial decision, I think we have to put Kosilek as an individual aside and look at the larger picture with regard to what this means to us as trans people and what this means for a larger society that either will or will not provide necessary medical services to everyone in its care – no judgment calls and no exceptions.

Readers?

This post originally appeared on Matt Kailey's award-winning website Tranifesto.com. Republished with permission.  

Meet the Men of MileHighGayGuy: Matt Kailey

Matt Kailey is a gay transman and an award-winning author, blogger, teacher, and community leader, as well as a nationally recognized speaker and trainer on transgender issues.

He is the author of Just Add Hormones: An Insider’s Guide to the Transsexual Experience (Beacon Press), a Lambda Literary Award finalist and Rocky Mountain News local bestseller, and Teeny Weenies and Other Short Subjects, a collection of humorous and heartfelt essays about his life before and after transition. In addition, his work has appeared in numerous publications, from anthologies to professional journals.

He is also a media personality who has appeared on local and national radio and television, in local and national print publications, and in five documentary films.